Runaway
by lemonadesomedays
Summary: Alexis Millen is at a crossroads in her life. When she runs into a mysterious stranger, everything she knows about life is turned upside down. Should she confide in him about her past? Or is his life in even more turmoil than hers?
1. Chapter 1

My computer is plugged in, my coffee is sitting on the table next to me, and the headphones are in. It's time to work, to figure out what I'm doing. I stare at the blank screen and pull my legs up under me. I watch the people sitting in the little cafe, milling around with their drinks. It's quiet here, but not too quiet like my hotel room. The perfect amount of white noise to keep me focused. I always come here when I hit a rough spot. That's right, I runaway. Go on vacation. Last year when I didn't want to write the ending to a series of four books that I had worked a very long time on. And the year before that, when I happened to need to kill off a main character that I was very attached to. I came here, ordered a coffee, and watched traffic until I figured it out. This booth was my secret weapon that could get me through anything it seemed. Except for starting from nothing. What's next? I have a deadline. I need to write _something._ I've been trying for months now to make some sort of idea work, but every time I think I'm close, it doesn't pan out. I keep pushing forward, keep staring at the screen waiting for something to pop up like it did the other ten times. Maybe I've just run myself dry. Eight books in three years is a ridiculous amount of material to come up with. Maybe I've just reached my limits, everybody has them, right? But my agent won't want to hear that, not to mention my mother. She's my biggest cheerleader, and if I can't come up with something this time...well, I don't know what I'll tell her.  
I turn back to the screen. The little cursor blinks at me, mocking almost. I hate that thing. I mean really, I know the page is blank, you don't have to sit there blinking like that. So, instead of writing, I open my email, and search through a few new ones that came in since yesterday. I look up the weather, even though I already watched it this morning, and check my flight for the next signing that I'm scheduled for. Two days. Time for me to relax after the last leg, and power up for the final stretch. Time for me to come up with answers to my fans questions. Will I be coming out with more books? What will they be about? I shake my head, and rub my forehead. The headache is coming back, so I look out the window again. It makes me feel better than watching the cursor again. I sip my coffee for a few minutes more, and decide what to do. I'm halfway between giving up and going back to my room, and starting a game of solitaire when someone comes over to my booth.

"Is this seat taken?" I have my headphones in, and the band is playing in the background. I could pretend not to hear whoever is talking to me, but that's incredibly rude, and my mother would have my head for ignoring someone on purpose. Yes, I'm twenty four. No, I don't like to disobey my mother. So, instead of ignoring said person, I reach up to my right ear and take out the headphone to respond. My mouth drops open for a minute before I can arrange my thoughts into a coherent word. My brain is just not working right today. That's the problem.

"Nope."I say, closing my mouth again. He's tall, dark, and definitely handsome. Incredibly handsome, but disheveled. Wearing a tux, but the bow tie is hung over his neck, jacket slung over one shoulder. He tosses it in the booth, and sets his coffee down on the table in front of my laptop. I figure that's the end of our conversation. I assume that he just wants to sit in the booth. You know what they say. When you assume...

"Working hard?" He asks casually. His blue eyes meet my hazel, and we watch each other for a minute before I look down at the screen again. He has no idea how hard I was working on this. No freaking clue. I've been here for two hours.

I'm frustrated, and angry at myself, so I take his question as a personal offense. "Late for the prom?" I say just as casually. It's eleven in the morning. I can't get over his getup, to go to a cafe? I'm wearing dark jeans and a light shirt. This place is very casual. Something isn't right, and my suspicions are confirmed when he breaks out laughing. Almost knocking over his coffee, his laughter is almost infectious. It definitely breaks a smile across my face. I haven't smiled, really smiled, not the fake one I've been handing out lately, for at least two weeks. That's something. I don't want to like this stranger, but there's something about him I can't put my finger on.

"Not even close. I was stood up at the altar." And I can tell he's serious, by the way he won't meet my eyes, and how he's rolling the styrofoam cup back and forth between his hands. I'm not even sure what to say to that. The man has baggage, and I don't even know him. I close my laptop with a click and he looks up. "Finished?" Those blue eyes pierce me again. I'm forced to look away.

I shake my head once, looking out at the street. My day isn't nearly as bad as his is. Anger fades, all I'm left with is an empty feeling that compels me to be honest with someone. Anyone. "I didn't even start."

"I shouldn't have interrupted you. I apologize.."

"No, no. It's alright." I hold out my hand as he starts to leave. "You don't have to leave. Really."

He sits back down and looks at me again as if he's really seeing me this time, and snaps his fingers. "You're the author." He looks at one of the posters out in the bookstore not far from here with one of my debut titles. The picture is old. Almost two years old. "I knew you were familiar. The glasses are a nice touch."

Then he's smiling, and I can't help but smile back. Twice in one day. "They're a nice cover, but I really need them to see." I change topics, I don't really want to talk about my problems with this guy. I would much rather direct the conversation his way. "So, your lady left you? That blows. You should be out getting drunk somewhere, why are you drinking black coffee at the local bookstore?"

"My brothers took me out for just that sort of thing, I ditched. Getting drunk isn't really my thing. I was hoping to be alone." With emphasis on the last word, I throw my hands up in mock defense.

"You wanted to sit here." I look at all the other tables, and point out a few. "There's plenty of other unoccupied tables, but you had to pick mine. Go sit by yourself if you want to be alone." I said it, but I didn't mean it. I don't want him to sit anywhere else...not really.

"I always sit in this booth." He says it as if that might explain everything. It sort of does. I always sit in this booth too. It's the only one that faces the street so you can see most of it. "Maybe I'll do that. I thought you were more involved in your work. Clearly, I was wrong."

"Maybe you should." I say as he gets up and wanders over to the nearest empty table. It's only about three feet from my booth. I open my laptop again, and sigh at the cursor. Cursing it silently, and my own stupid mouth. I sip my coffee, and open solitaire up. Sometimes it helps. I clear my head a little, and things just start to make sense. After the first game, I turn back to the open document, and put my hands on the keys. "Alexis." He says, snapping his fingers again. "Alexis Millen. That's it."

I turn to him, and glare his way. If looks could kill, Mr. Observant would be twitching on the floor. I almost growl at him. "That's Miss Millen to you. No one calls me Alexis." No one except _him_. As far as my friends and family are concerned, my name is now Lexy. Call me Alexis, suffer the consequences. This guy doesn't know that...yet. He doesn't understand the history behind my first name. I can feel my good mood going to you-know-where pretty quick. I wrap my hands around my cup and he turns his chair to me. Straddling it with his arms on the back, I try not to look at him. Really, I do. It's hard. "I thought you wanted to be alone."

"I did. You got the better of me." Honesty? What? Who is this guy? "Miss, huh? Not married?"

"Nope." Too involved in my work for that, Hotshot, I add silently. Too much insanity. I like my life the way it is. He runs a hand through his dark hair, and looks even more ruffled when it sticks out at different angles. "Looking for a date already? Back on that horse pretty quick." I didn't mean it to sound that harsh, but that's how it came off. Since when am I mean and cruel? I just about sound vindictive. Poor stranger.

"Of course not. I wouldn't drag anyone into this mess." He whispers. I have to almost lean out of the booth to hear him. For a brief moment I allow myself to wonder what she looks like. Probably insanely gorgeous. That's the only woman this man would go for, I knew his type. Smart, sophisticated, beautiful, only the best of the best. Why would she leave him alone? I entertain the thought that she lost her mind. She must be crazy for leaving him. I couldn't imagine him getting down on one knee, he reeks of power. The cocky kind that means he can have whatever he wants when he walks into a room. "I have to clean it up. It's my problem." He finishes, breaking into my thoughts. He turns to face the door, and I feel a tug of recognition somewhere deep. I should know his name, but I can't place him.

"I never caught your name."

His expression turns sad, almost depressed, and he stands."And that's my cue to leave. Work hard, Miss Millen." Taking my hand, he kisses the back of it. A simple, soft gesture. Then he's leaving, sweeping his jacket from the chair to his shoulder again, and he's gone. I watched the spot after him for a long time after he left, and then opened my computer to type. Looking out on the street, I didn't see him, I hadn't expected to. I had something now, the words came easily, quickly almost.


	2. Chapter 2

Three days later, I arrived home. My apartment was lonely, empty, but it was good to be back. Tossing my keys on the counter, and dumping my bags by the door, I started checking my messages and setting up my computer back in it's normal place. The small office just off the foyer held my desk. Other than that the room was fairly empty. The signings, was over for another year, or until I figured out what else I was doing. I had started writing again, and that thrilled me. Ever since the cafe, and Hotshot, everything just seemed to be making sense. That's what I was calling him, my Hotshot. I didn't know his name, but he seemed to be haunting me. Every time I turned the computer on I felt something creeping up on me, chills, shivers, they were normal occurrences now when I was writing. I chalked it up to coincidence. I would probably never see him again, better to get on with life. I was happy writing again.  
After cooking dinner, and settling in to watch some boring tv, I got a call from my mom.

"Hey honey. Glad you're home safe and everything."  
"Thanks mom. Sorry I didn't call right away. I've been busy putting stuff back and..."

"Oh, Lexy, did you forget tomorrow night is that charity thing? You promised you would go. Your agent reminded me this morning." My agent, yea right, my sister reminded her. Aleah was always helpful when it came to my career, she always got me the best deals, but the hook was I had to follow her rules.  
"I completely forgot." I sighed, looking at the calender. "I guess I can go. Where is it?" Mom ended up calling Aleah, and then we talked for another hour about the dress, the other guests of honor, and how to get to the place. When I finally had everything down, and promised to show up, we all hung up. I wrote for a few hours, and then checked my closet to make sure I had something to wear. Everything would be fine, I didn't even have to talk at this thing, just show up. I could do that, right?

Catching a taxi to the place wasn't a problem, neither was showing my invitation to the guy holding the door. Meandering my way through tables to find my seat, piece of cake. I thought for sure this event was going to be easy. Get in. Get a drink. Get out. That simple.

That was before Hotshot walked in.

I had no idea he would be here, but, then again, I didn't even know the guys name. Even if I had the guest list I couldn't have picked him out unless they had a line up. He didn't live around here, did he? I had assumed that he was living around the cafe, but how much did I really know? He could live in London for all I know. My lack of information was beyond annoying, beyond frustrating. It bordered on intolerable. I needed answers, and the only way to get them, was to ask.

Debating the confrontation, I adjusted my black one shoulder, fidgeting with the ruffles around the bottom. Did I want to act like a crazy stalker? Did I want him to think of me that way? Probably better if I just avoided him. That would be easier. Just lay low, Lexy. The less I looked around, the better. The harder it would be for him to...

"Miss Millen." Shit.

I turned to find blue eyes searching mine. It felt intimate, and suddenly my palms were sweating. My heart was racing. He was too close, I took a step closer to the table, and tried to refocus. Get a grip, Lexy. Get it together, he's only _looking_ at you!

"Hotshot." I replied, then mentally smacked myself. Hotshot had the nerve to laugh at me. "Well, you didn't have the decency to tell me your name."

"So, you chose one for me?" He had a huge smile plastered on his face. The kind where you know you have the upper hand, and you aren't going to give it up easily. Hotshot knew he had won this round. It killed me. I wanted to wipe that smile right off his face. He took another step closer. I was already backed into the table, there was no escaping.

"I had to call you something." I mumbled, looking around the crowded room. He wouldn't try anything here? Wait, try anything?

"Don't leave before you see me." I turned to ask why, to inform him that I didn't have to do anything, I could leave whenever I wanted, but he was already merging with the crowd. I had no option other than to consider what he said, and decide how long I was staying.

The room was crowded, and people wanted to talk to me about new books, and the rumor going around about a movie. I informed them it was all gossip, nothing to be concerned about, and I was hard at work writing again. It was my passion, I said, but what I was really focused on was the mysterious guy that seemed to be pretending I didn't exist. I had a million things to say to him, to ask him. I wanted to tell him I missed him, which was ridiculous, I didn't even know his name. I wanted to ask about how he was, if he wanted to be alone anymore. How the whole ex-fiance thing was going for him. Were they still together? How does that sort of thing even work?  
The announcer asked us all to be seated, and I followed instructions. My table was filled with generous donors, most of whom I had never met before. I didn't recognize anyone. I was thankful we didn't need to make small talk. I was spent on that account.

One very long, extremely boring speech later, we were dismissed. I felt like I was back in high school. Shaking it off, I made my way to the bar. I ordered myself a large brandy, and took to drinking it while watching the crowd mill around again. I liked to watch who was talking, and who wasn't. Aleah knew just about everyone here, I would bet money on it. She was amazing at remembering names, whereas I couldn't summon one to save my life. These sorts of things were terribly dull, but the bar was always a great place to find entertainment. Plus. I figured it was fairly safe. Hotshot had told me he didn't drink.

"I think we should get out of here. Whatdya say?"  
"Johnny, I think you're drunk." I heard an amused voice reply. "You should go home before you pass out."  
I leaned my back against the bar, and held my brandy with two hands. I watched two men, one clearly helping the other stumble to the door. I almost laughed out loud, it was obvious the poor guy was beyond drunk. They disappeared for a few minutes, and then the sober one came back in the door shaking his head. The bartender shouted something at him, and he was rewarded with a breathtaking smile. Long sandy hair framed his face, and green eyes roamed over the bar, looking for something. They stopped on me.

"Haven't seen you around here before. New on the circuit?" He said, elbows on the bar. The bartender pushed a beer over for him, and I didn't turn around.  
I was still watching Hotshot discreetly. Okay, maybe not so discreetly, but I was trying my best not to stare. "Not really." I sipped my brandy, and half turned to look at him. He gave me a playful grin and held out his hand. "I'm Jerry. Jerry Boxt. Nice to meet you...?"  
"Alexis Millen. Call me Lexy." I finished shaking his hand. Part of me was angry that I had let the Lexy part slip. Should have stuck with Miss Millen. That was soo much easier. Lexy implied that I trusted him. I didn't.  
"Lexy. Very nice."  
"He was really wasted." I said with a smile, looking back at the tables. He had moved back to his table. His blue eyes combing the room. I doubted he would find me, too busy looking for others to talk to. Jerry let out a laugh next to me.  
"My brother always gets drunk at these things. Takes the pressure off, ya know? Bad for business though."  
"I can imagine." I took another long drink as I watched him move next to a young woman, and slip his arm around her waist. I didn't come up for air until after he leaned in and whispered something to her. The burn in my stomach took away the fuzzy feeling in my head as I finished off the glass. Hotshot wasn't interested in me, so why did I feel all weird when he touched someone else? The man had been engaged, and soon to be married. What did I care?  
"You planning on getting wasted yourself?" Jerry asked conspiratorially as I accepted another drink.  
"Not particularly." I traded glasses, and sat on the stool in front of me. I glanced at Jerry. He had a vaguely concerned expression on his face. I considered asking him if he knew Hotshot. Jerry seemed well informed. I dismissed the thought quickly.  
"It's a guy, isn't it? It always is." He sighed heavily, and sat down next to me. "Guys are real idiots, ya know?"

I laughed at that. "You realize, you're a guy, right?" I took another sip, and then rested my chin on my hand. Alcohol made me tired. The longer I drank, the more exhausted I felt.

"You're beautiful." Jerry said. "Has anyone told you that tonight?" I shook my head, and black curls came loose. I laughed again. "Well, you are."  
"Why, Jerry. I think you're flirting with me."  
"No can do, sweetie. I don't flirt with chicks." I eyed him seriously, but he didn't seem to be joking. Okay. That's cool. I dropped it, and changed the subject back.  
"Thanks, Jerry. You're not bad looking yourself." I said, eyeing him up and down. The alcohol was making me somewhat brave. "In fact, you're downright gorgeous in that suit, if I do say so myself." I pushed the glass away, and stood up. "I think it's time for me to go home."

"Want me to walk you out?" Jerry asked, innocently. I gave him a smile.  
"I've only had one glass, dear. I'm not that much of a lightweight." I balanced myself on my heels, and leaned up to get my wallet. I was trying to remember something. I could almost grab at it, but then it was gone. Something I needed to do...what was it...ah well.  
"It's been my pleasure, Lexy."  
"I'm afraid the pleasure was all mine, Jerry. Goodnight."  
"Night." He called after me. I was almost at the door when someone closed the door in front of me. One of the waiters, he stood in front of the door, and just looked at me.  
"Wait." A voice called out behind me. I had no where to go, so I stood there and waited. A hand brushed mine, and then he was standing in front of me. "I thought I asked you to wait. You were just going to leave even though you knew I wanted to speak with you."  
"Yes." I answered breathless. It was the truth. Damn my honesty. I should have made up some sort of excuse about leaving early. Instead I came up with the only response that came to mind. "You were...engaged already." He made a face and then his hands were in his pockets.  
"How...accurate. I didn't realize you were jealous."  
"I'm _not_ jealous." I said seriously. I wasn't, was I? What was there to be jealous of? I shook my head, that wasn't the point. Moving a little closer, I put my hand on his arm. "I just wanted you to know, you helped me. I started writing again after...well you know. I haven't written anything in months. I wanted to thank you for that. Even if you won't tell me your name."  
The confused look on his face was replaced by a smile when I pulled away. "You're a brilliant writer, I'm sure it wouldn't have been long before you figured it out."  
"Not this time." I said, resigned to my fate. "I'm going home now. That's all I wanted to say."  
"I don't think it was." Hotshot tilted my chin so I would look into his eyes. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered wildly, I couldn't remember feeling this way. "You wanted to ask me something."  
"Maybe. It doesn't matter."  
"Sure it does." His tone insisted that he wasn't going to let it go. I gave a quick glance around the room, no one had seemed to notice us yet. I had time.  
Before I had a chance to second guess myself, I blurted it out. "I...Are you alright? How are you? I thought about you, the last few weeks. I wondered...how you were." I watched him pull back into himself, the playful grin disappearing, and his hands were back in his pockets before he stepped away.  
"I'm just fucking perfect."  
I winced at his words, like they cut me deeply. I must have crossed some invisible line. Way to go, Lexy. My subconscious tsked at me and shook her head. Way to remind him of everything that's happened. He's probably just trying to get some semblance of normal back and you just ruined it.  
"Good. Great." I said after an awkward silence. I fiddled with my wallet, and then rocked back on my heels for a second. I regretted ever asking. "I'm sorry." I whispered. Why was I apologizing? I hadn't done anything wrong, but it felt like I was at fault. I was sorry that he was upset.  
"No. Don't be sorry. I'm being honest with you, and maybe I should have kept that to myself. I should be the one apologizing. I'm holding you up. I just thought...maybe." He looked down at this hands, and I realized he was holding something. I looked up into his blue eyes, and he put something in my hands. A piece of paper."In case you wanted to bump into me sometime."  
"I don't even know you." Not altogether true. Not false either. I felt like I knew parts of him, but I needed more.  
"So, you don't want it? You don't want me?" Where did that question come from? What did he mean by that? Then it hit me. This was some sort of complex over his last relationship. She ended up not wanting, and then leaving him.  
I watched him sigh deeply, and scrub a hand through his hair. "Never mind. I don't know what I'm thinking." That made two of us. I had no clue what was going on behind those blue eyes. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.  
"Listen, I like you. Okay? I just...you need..." Words. Use your words! My brain wasn't working right. I looked down at the paper in my hands, just a number. No name. What was the big deal? "Tell me your name at least."  
He snorted. "Yea, alright. My mistake." I watched him turn, and start to walk away again.  
"Why is it such a hot button issue? You leave every time I ask. Why can't you just tell me?" I raised my voice just enough. Just enough so he would turn around. I stood up straight, trying to make myself appear more forceful. Hotshot shook his head, still looking away. It appeared that giving his name to me might be some form of torture. He turned halfway, but didn't make a move to come back to me.  
"You really want to know?"  
I crossed my arms. "I asked. Twice."  
"Good point."  
"You're stalling."  
Then he was crossing the distance between us. His hands were on my shoulders, gripping me tightly. "It doesn't change anything, alright? This, what we have, whatever it is. I don't want it to change just because of my name. I want you to remember that. I want you to promise."  
Hotshot was completely serious, and suddenly I was worried. Maybe I didn't want to know who he was. What if he was some sort of career criminal? No, that couldn't be it. Serial killer just let loose? Please. My imagination was running wild, and he was waiting for my answer. Crazy as it sounded, I felt like I knew Hotshot in a way. Whatever his problem was, I could handle it. His name wouldn't change much. Right? This was just another way to understand the mysterious stranger that had walked into my life, and was planning on walking out of it.  
"Promise." He let go of me, and took a step back. There was indecision, and reluctance written all over his face.

Then, Hotshot said two words that would change my life. Forever.  
"Morgan Cemper."

**A/N : Thank you for reading. I know I posted this under the Fifty Shades trilogy, and for those of you wondering, yes. Ana and Christian will be making an appearance shortly. Stick with me. Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always welcome! **


	3. Chapter 3

I stood stock still. My mind still reeling. Somewhere in my head someone was running the last two words over. They kept hitting repeat. Morgan Cemper. Morgan Cemper. Morgan Cemper.

I wanted to punch that person. I wanted to go back to ten minutes ago. To the coffee shop when he was just a nice guy, and I was a boring girl with a laptop that couldn't write anymore to save her life. I wished that person in my brain could press rewind instead of repeat.

"Is this some kind of joke? I think I would know if you were..." Hotshot gives me a look then. The look that tells me it wasn't easy giving up his name, and he's not too thrilled I think he's joking. You know, the one that basically tells you to shut up.

"That can't be." I keep denying it. Denial could work. Just keep pretending like it didn't happen, and maybe it won't? I feel a headache starting. Most likely a migraine. My brain starts to fire back to life. Morgan Cemper. The name is familiar, and then I know why. He's the playboy billionaire. The one every woman wanted to get their hands on, because he has everything. Morgan Cemper. Money, looks, youth, and intelligence. Plus his fathers company at his disposal. Granted, he has three brothers, but there's apparently enough to go around for all four. Remembering all the details is really hard. I can't quite seem to bring any other names up to the forefront of my memory. I shake my head, that can't be right. I must be missing something. I would have recognized him. Glancing his way, I realized what I was missing. His hair was a different color. Not the light color it was before, it's a deep rich brown. Copper highlights. Another mystery to add to the list. I had seen enough pictures of him on the gossip channels. Yes, I watched them. Who doesn't? Then the next thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Definitely migraine material.

"_Keroline Pace_? That's who dumped you?" Hotshot shook his head. More in disbelief, than signalling I was wrong. I couldn't linger on the thought of the woman who left him, that was at the top of the list, but I was still reeling.

"Could we not do this now? You were leaving, remember?" Oh yea. That's right. Before my world was sent into an insane tailspin.

The paper was still in my hand. I held it up for him. "What am I supposed to do, call your secretary? Make an appointment?" I didn't wait for him to answer. This was insanity. I could never compete with Keroline Pace. It was even worse than I could have imagined at the coffee shop. "Forget it." I stuffed the paper into the front pocket of his suit, and proceeded to the doors. Stupid me. Stupid Hotshot. How could I even begin to believe that he liked me. A guy like him didn't...they just didn't.

"Come on, Alexis..." I spun around so fast, I almost fell. He grabbed my arm, and hauled me up just in time for me to snap at him.

"_Don't_." He didn't get to call me that. He didn't get to use my name. Hotshot knew better. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Easy night, yea right.

"Let me give you a ride home, at least. Give me a chance to explain, that's all I'm asking for." Quiet, soft. He was treating me like a wounded animal. That was the worst feeling. Morgan was still holding my arm. I pulled it away slowly.

"Fine." I remembered my promise. I couldn't just walk away. Not without some sort of explanation. "But don't call me Alexis. My name is Lexy."

"Alright then, Lexy." He already had his phone out, tapping the screen. "Did you drive?"

"No. Took a cab." Morgan tilted his head to one side, studying me. In that one breathtaking moment, a smile spread across his face. I didn't understand why he was so happy all of a sudden. "What?"

"Don't you have a car?" Still with the heartbreaking smile. A car pulled up to the curb, but neither of us moved. Morgan's eyes were locked on me, waiting. I've spoken in front of hundreds of people. I've made speeches for graduations, charities, you name it. And yet, that smile, made me stammer like I was back in high school all over again. Transported back to a different time, years ago. The odd girl out trying to talk to the head football player. Trying to explain when the tutoring session would be, trying to get my words straight.

"I...um..of course I do. It's...just...that I thought..."

"Yes?" I closed my eyes again. Why couldn't I form a coherent thought? Why was my brain so fuzzy? I only had two drinks. Morgan. It was obvious, right? Refocusing seemed to help.

"That's really none of your business. I have a car, but I thought I would have a few drinks tonight." I watched Morgan move to the SUV, and open the door to the backseat. He stood there looking at me for a long minute before I made a move. I climbed in, and he shut the door. I noticed the driver up front, keeping his eyes locked on the road until Morgan got in.

"Where to, sir?" Sir? I was out of my element, already. Only in the car with the guy, and I felt like I might be losing it. Morgan turned to me, one arm thrown casually over the backseat headrest. It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. His casual attitude made my heart race for no apparent reason.

"Lexy?" He prompted. "Home?"

"Oh, yea." Duh. Wake up, Lex. I rattled off my address, and the car started moving. I had about twenty minutes to get all of my issues out there in the open, but I couldn't remember one of them. Morgan pressed a button, and a privacy screen went up between the driver and the backseat. Oh, yes. That's right. I considered how many other girls Morgan had probably brought to the back of his SUV. I hoped he wasn't getting any ideas.

"Okay. Ask away." Morgan rubbed his temples, and then leaned his back against the door. Devoting all of his attention to me. It was unnerving.

I started, then shook my head. I came up with the only thing I could. The one thing I had focused on before. "You lied to me."

I saw his calm exterior fade for a second. About damn time something bothered him. His brow furrowed. "Excuse me?"

"You said you didn't drink." As soon as it was out, I realized it was the dumbest thing I had ever said. I couldn't believe that was the question I was leading with.

"I never said that. I believe my exact words were 'getting drunk isn't my thing'."

"Doesn't matter. Every news channel I've ever watched has reported on the drunken Morgan Cemper's behavior. Someone doesn't have their story straight, who is it?" I watched Morgan carefully, waiting for some sort of answer. This was where it would start. Now that I knew his name, I needed to know who he really was. Was he the playboy everyone thought he was? Or was he something more? Something different?

"I drink occasionally. It's not a habit. I never lied to you, Lexy. Everything I said was true. The person you met at the cafe, that was me. The real Morgan. I wasn't playing around with you. That's why I made you promise." Morgan frowned then, and I knew something was coming that I wouldn't like. "Ever since I was little people have treated me differently. Maybe it's the money. Maybe it's my parents. It doesn't even matter why, the point is no one ever talked to me the way you did that day. Even my so called friends, they've treated me with kid gloves. No one has ever looked at me in that light. You were so..." Then his face lit up, remembering that day. "Sarcastic. So incredibly rude. It was amazing. You treated me as your equal. Lexy, you basically told me to take a hike when I said I wanted to be alone. The only other people in the world who have said anything along those lines are my parents. My family. That's why."

"Well, that's just..." I was at a loss for words.

"Ridiculous. Stupid." Morgan laced his hands, and put them behind his head. He closed his eyes, like the worst of everything was over. My real questions hadn't even started yet. I felt this insane need to touch him, to move closer and rest my head on his chest. That was the brandy thinking, I was sure of it.

"I was going to say surprising, but that works too." I thought for a minute. "What about Keroline Pace? You expect me to believe that she didn't stand up to you? Ever?"

Morgan snorted, but never opened his eyes at the mention of his ex-fiance. "Kerry didn't give two shits about me. Or my family." I wasn't sure what to make of_ that, _so I kept my mouth shut. I kept my thoughts to myself. Tried not to get caught up in the fact that he was planning on marrying someone who didn't care about him. I alternated between looking out of the window, and watching Morgan. A few minutes later, he startled me.

"My turn. Why don't you let anyone call you by your name?" Of course. He wouldn't give away answers for nothing. He wanted something in return. I estimated we had another five minutes or so in the car, not nearly long enough for me to tell him the entire story. I didn't want to tell him anyway. It would probably ruin any chance I thought I might have with this beautiful man. I decided on the short version.

"Someone used to call me that. He hurt me. I don't think of anything nice when someone says 'Alexis'. It's not that I don't like my name, it just hurts when I hear it. It's just easier. That's all." I had been staring out the window, but now I looked back at Morgan. We were pulled alongside the curb, parked at my house now, and Morgan was considered me like I might jump out of the car and leave him. "Say something." I whispered. It was hard enough to tell him that much.

"What do you mean 'hurt you', Lexy?"

I shook my head. "No." I wasn't talking about it. I grabbed the door handle, and pushed it open. I was home, I didn't have to stay in the SUV with him. I didn't.

"Lexy. Hold on. Slow down."

I was halfway to the steps already, fumbling around in my purse for my keys. "I don't...I'm not talking about it." My hands were shaking when I finally found them. I couldn't get the key in the lock. My hands wouldn't listen to me. I heard Morgan's footsteps behind me, but I tried to ignore him. Until I couldn't ignore him.

Morgan gently pulled the keys out of my hands, and unlocked the door for me. Watching me intently, he handed the keys back. I stepped inside, wanting this night to be over. I realized it wasn't over when Morgan stepped in behind me and shut the door.

"I don't remember inviting you in." It might have held more weight if I actually meant it. If there had been some venom behind those words. There wasn't, it happened to be an empty threat, and we both knew it.

We weren't standing very far from each other, but it still took me by surprise when Morgan pulled me into his arms. It had been a long time since someone had held me this way. I felt...safe. Comfortable. I ended up looping my arms around his waist, and pulling him even closer. Morgan pushes a few stray black curls out of my face, and I look up at him.

"I'm sorry, Lexy. I didn't know."

"Not your fault." I shake my head, stepping away. "You didn't know." I should have known, but that was besides the point.

"Doesn't matter, I'm still sorry. I knew it bothered you, and I still pushed the limits. Lexy, look at me." His tone said 'don't argue'. So I didn't. I obeyed. Morgan held the piece of paper out that I had shoved in his coat pocket. "Will you call me?"

I didn't take it right away. "When?"

"A question with a question." Morgan runs a hand through his hair again. "That's my personal cell phone. No one answers that number, except me. Okay? I have a few meetings, but I should be able to answer through most of them. Tomorrow?"

Tomorrow. Easy enough. I can call him. No problem. I take the paper back. "Okay."

"Do me a favor before I go."

I wasn't quick to agree, or to argue. Favor? What did he mean by that? I tossed my purse on the chair next to the door and crossed my arms. My migraine was going to need some serious attention before long. Morgan catches my hand in his, rubbing the back with his thumb. "What?"

"Say my name."

I just looked at him, waiting for the punch line. It didn't show up. Morgan was serious. "Why?"

That smile came out again. The one that made him look like some sort of angel. The one that took my breath away. "Because it might make me happy. Say it."

"You could have a million girls say your name. I bet most of them are screaming it from the rooftops right now because you left the party early." I protested. I couldn't even figure out why I didn't want to say it. Maybe it wouldn't help my cause anymore. If I said his name, it would make him even more real. It would be like giving in somehow, and I wasn't quite ready.

"I don't want a million girls. Say it, Lexy." The smile was fading now, slowly slipping. I came to my senses. Yes, I would do anything to make him smile like that again.

"Hey, Morgan." Then he was back, smiling. I smiled back. A ridiculous, goofy grin plastered on my face. All because I, Lexy Millen, had made Morgan Cemper happy by saying his name.

"Tomorrow." He said, moving to the door. It sounded like his own promise, I liked the sound of it.

"Tomorrow." I agreed, holding the open door now. Morgan stood on the step, glancing between the car, and me. He was stalling, again. I was starting to wonder if this was one of his worst habits.

"Bye, Lexy."

"Bye, Morgan. You can leave now."

"Thanks. I was waiting for you to dismiss me." He walked backwards, and rolled his eyes at me. Hands in his pockets, I thought he might be the most gorgeous thing that had been on my sidewalk in a very long time.

"Sarcasm won't get you anywhere."

"Hopefully it will get you to call me." I laughed, and Morgan got in the SUV. I watched it pull away from the curb, and head down the street. I felt like something magical had happened. Probably the brandy talking again.

**A/N : Thank you all for reviewing, and following! I really appreciate all the advice, and I love that some of you have already guessed where Ana and Christian will fit in. **


	4. Chapter 4

"Yes, Mom. I went to the thing last night."

"Well, how was it?"

"It was fine. Boring. You know how they are."

"Really? Because I saw your picture on the news..."

"You what?!"

Our casual conversation caused me to drop my plate of eggs and bacon right on the kitchen floor. Me. On the news? What?

"Lexy, you were on the news. You and that young man that was left standing at the altar. Oh, what's his name."

I groaned inwardly, and smacked my head against the table. I could almost smell the smoke coming through the phone. Might as well tell her, she was just going to google him anyway. "Morgan Cemper."

"That's the one! Do you know him?"

No, mom. The press got a picture of us together, and I have no freaking clue who he is. If she had asked that question twenty four hours ago..."He's just a friend. No big deal." Bullshit, my subconscious snorts looking at the plate on the floor.

"A _boy_ friend?"

"_No_, mom. Pretty sure I just said friend."

"That's good, because I don't think he's your type. From what I've heard he's into all sorts of crazy things. Drugs, sex..."

Rock and roll? God, mom, I'm not eighteen anymore. "You can't believe everything you hear on TV. I'm sure it's all exaggerated anyway." I was sure most of it was, Morgan seemed down to earth. Not the badboy he had been portrayed as.

"Well, either way, be careful, okay? I worry about you enough already. I'll call your sister, keep her in the loop. Somebody has to."

"I will be careful. And thanks for calling Aleah."

"He has a few brothers, right? One must be older. Maybe you could get Aleah a nice friend. Wouldn't that be something? You two dating brothers."

"Three brothers. Teddy, Daniel, Morgan, and Carrey. And no, I'm not hooking Aleah up. I barely know the guy, I can't go around asking for their numbers." I had managed to remember the brothers names, but Morgan's parents were still eluding me. I had sat at the computer for almost an hour last night, debating on whether it was invading his privacy to use google against him. Ten games of solitaire later, I resigned myself to asking Morgan when I met up with him the next time.

"Well, just think about it. I'm just planting a little seed, Lexy."

"Okay, I'll think about it." That was the best she was going to get. I was _not_ asking Morgan. My mom seemed to understand, because she ended the conversation not long after that.

"Bye honey."

"Bye mom."

After hanging up, I went upstairs to get ready. I had a meeting with my editor today. A very big meeting. Career changing. What do you wear to that kind of thing? I pulled out black slacks, and a dress shirt with ruffles. Nice enough, hopefully. The important thing was the story, the chapters, the material. That was what needed to be foolproof. I had it waiting for me in my little office. Had my short speech ready to go, just in case. I was not about to ruin everything. Not today.

Double checking my binder, and purse, I left the house. I drove to the place where Ana and I always had lunch to discuss book things. Ana was the best editor I could have ever ended up with. She was understanding, but also pushed me when I needed it. When I was having a rough time, she's the one that would nudge me and say 'Come on, Lexy. Get it together'. I wouldn't have a career in writing if she hadn't brought my stories to the light. To the readers. I would be forever thankful to her for that, but right now, I was worried. What if she didn't accept my next idea? What if she turned me down? No. I was not going to think like that. Only positive thoughts, no negativity.

I settled into the seat I normally took, and waited for Ana. She was right on time and dressed impeccably, as always. Her pencil skirt, and dress shirt made me feel like I was just playing at writer. Her smile told a different story.

"Lexy! It's so great to see you." I gave her a quick hug, and then we broke it up to sit.

"It's great to see you too, Ana." I started to say something along the lines of 'How are the boys?', when I caught her gaze for just a second. Then she was taking something out of her purse.

Oh. My. God. Her blue eyes, I knew them. I knew him. Morgan Cemper. The hair, his hair. Christian Grey. My mind was reeling, I felt like I was a fish without water. The wind had been knocked out of me, and I couldn't catch my breath. How much did Ana know? Why didn't Morgan tell me? Morgan Cemper **_Grey_**. He had another thing coming. Finally telling me his name, and then lying about it. Wait until I get my hands on that...that...

"Jerk. Ass. Idiot." I mumbled to myself. Ana made a face at me, and then I realized that she had no freaking clue what I was going on about. I held up my phone, hoping she bought my lie. "Sorry, I just..."

"Oh, Lexy. Don't apologize. I know exactly what you mean." I froze for a moment. Did she really know? How could she know that Morgan and I were...what were we? "I have four boys, and a husband. They're all idiots at some point." We both laughed, for the same reason. I sat back in my chair, and handed over the binder.

"So, how is the next one coming along?" I felt all of my anger drain out of me. Morgan was going to have to wait. I had a very important meeting. I had things to attend to. Even if it was with his mother. I took a deep breath, and pushed Morgan away and out.

"I think it might be my best work yet."

The meeting went along fairly well. Ana agreed to read, and review what I had so far. We scheduled another meeting for later in the month to check up, and we parted ways before the hour was up. I couldn't help but see her in a new light. Mrs. Grey was Morgan's mother.

My phone was getting all sorts of attention today. It was finally time for me to call Morgan. I had put this moment to the back of my mind for most of the day. Cleaning, writing, cooking. Anything so I didn't have to think about what I needed to do now. Nervous didn't even start to explain it. I opened the piece of paper, and dialed the number slowly. As if I could postpone the moment anymore. I had no idea what to expect. What did he want to talk about? Butterflies sped up when the phone rang once. Twice.

"Morgan."

Oh. Then it was okay. I heard voices in the background, and realized he was probably right int he middle of something. But, he had answered. What had I been freaking out about, anyway? I realized I had been holding my breath. I let it out in a rush, and collapsed on the sofa.

"Hey, it's Lexy."

"Lexy. Hold on just a sec." I listened as Morgan said something that didn't reach the phone, and then waited for him to come back. Then it was quieter. "Alright, that's better. How's everything?"

"Oh, just wonderful. I didn't interrupt anything. did I? Because..."

"No. God no. You helped me escape Teddy's latest financial scheme. Boring is an understatement."

"Work?"

"Sort of. He's on this rant about the stock market. I can't seem to focus on it."

"Oh. Did you see the news?" I played with part of the cushion that happened to be fraying. I couldn't seem to focus today either.

Morgan laughed once before he answered. "Yes. You're apparently my new fling."

I wasn't sure whether to take that as an insult, or an invitation. "I have a stalker now. I blame him on you." My author status had never been high enough to warrant a photographer posted outside.

"Stalker?"

Morgan's concerned tone took me by surprise. I hadn't expected him to worry about me, it wasn't a big deal. "Photographer. Outside my house. I asked if he wanted coffee this morning. He seems bored out of his mind." Truth was, I kind of felt bad for the guy. He had been assigned the most uninteresting person to take pictures of. All I had done was clean and write today.

"Don't invite them inside, Lexy. That's not..."

"Right? Good form?" I couldn't help but laugh at the way he sounded. Almost snobby, but he couldn't pull it off.

"No, I meant. Oh hell, offer him dinner then if you want." I broke out into hysterics, Morgan laughing along with me. It was nice.

After we stopped laughing, there was an awkward silence. I waited for a few seconds. Then a few more. I was almost ready to end the phone call when Morgan came out with it.

"Tomorrow. Could you meet me somewhere?"

I didn't even hesitate. Morgan sounded nervous, and I could sympathize. My pulse ratcheted up one more notch at the thought of meeting again. "Sure, where?"

"I know a great place. It's right on the shore. How's dinner sound?"

"Great." My one word answers didn't seem to phase Morgan.

Dinner. I could do this.

I was parked in the lot of the restaurant that Morgan had told me about. Seems like a real upscale place, very fancy. I was glad that I had dressed up for this one. The deep green color was one of my favorites because it was comfortable, and practical. Not crazy short, and not too long. The perfect in between. Pair it with some reasonable heels, and I'm good to go. I had been staring at my closet all day, trying to puzzle out what Morgan liked. Nothing came to mind.

But I was still in the car. I shouldn't have been nervous. Morgan wanted to meet here. Everything pointed to the fact that we would have a nice dinner. That didn't mean I wasn't worried. I had a bad feeling. A really terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something was up. Something wasn't right.

I was never going to find out by sitting in the car. Morgan could be waiting for me already. Pulling myself together, and trying to shake off the feeling that wouldn't leave, I climbed out of the drivers seat. Slamming the door, I tucked my keys into my purse and walked to the entrance. I gave the hostess my name, and she seemed to recognize it. She led me through the modern, crowded restaurant to a booth in the back. I almost smiled at the setting. It reminded me of the cafe, only more expensive. Morgan stood up as I came in. Who said chivalry was dead?

"Lexy." There was something in the way he said my name. He made it sound like a prayer, or a promise. I shook my head. Now I was starting to sound like a hopeless romantic.

"Morgan." I looked him over, and instantly regretted it. No wonder the hostess was staring. I couldn't blame her. He was dressed all in black, head to toe. The top two buttons were undone on his dress shirt, and the jacket was hanging open. I swallowed, hard. The hostess was kind enough to save me, asking about the drinks. I asked for water, alcohol was not going to help me tonight. Morgan made it two, and we sat down.

He was completely at ease, relaxed. I couldn't seem to get comfortable. I kept fidgeting, trying not to look in his direction too often. I had a million things to say, but no idea how to say them.

"I love your hair like that." Morgan murmured. I had twisted it into a bun, and left some curls loose. My dark hair was normally unmanageable, it took me almost half an hour to fix it so it was presentable. Thanking my lucky stars that I had taken the time, I smiled. I didn't even realize Morgan had been looking at it. He was studying the menu, not even glancing my way. After the waitress took our orders, and came back with our drinks. I blurted out the thing that was on my mind. The one thing that confused me. The one thing that had been bothering me for a day now. Gnawing at me inside. Yes, I was going to ruin our perfect moment. Our wonderful dinner. But I had to know.

"You have your mother's eyes."

This seemed to capture Morgan's full attention. Setting down the menu, I watched his expression change. He leaned across the table, and frowned. "What did you say?"

I mirrored him, leaning in so our faces were almost touching. "You heard me, Hotshot. Explain away."

Morgan put his arms on the table, and laced his fingers in front of him. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Don't give me that. I work with Ana Grey. I knew I recognized you from somewhere. It's the eyes. You have your mother's eyes. And the hair. I've seen Christian Grey's picture enough to know what he looks like. I should have caught it sooner. I knew Morgan Cemper wasn't the whole story. So spill it, Hotshot. Who are you, really?"

"I'm not..." He was pulling away, shaking his head. Morgan wasn't going to tell me. He had secrets, I got that, but I needed to know.

"Morgan. Look at me." I waited until he listened, and then I put my hand on top of his. "I'm not after your money. I'm not after your secrets so I can tell the world. I just want you to be honest with me. I want to know the real Hotshot. The guy that met me at the cafe, and looks broken right now. And I can't do that unless you let me inside. " I paused, and realized just how true it was. Morgan looked like I had just killed his cat, like his world was crashing down around him. "It doesn't change anything."

"Lexy, it changes everything. My life isn't what it seems."

I realized we weren't talking about his parents anymore. Morgan was hiding something...else? I just wanted the truth.

The waitress interrupted us, bringing our dinner. I couldn't even look at her, or the food. Hell, I didn't remember ordering. She waited for some kind of confirmation, but didn't get anything. Morgan and I were just staring at each other. She left, and Morgan chanced a look around the restaurant. I took that opportunity to look at my food. He must have order some sort of appetizer for both of us. Ten minutes ago, I would have found that thoughtful. I didn't want it anymore. I wasn't hungry. I pushed the plate farther away, and grabbed my water.

"I don't care who your parents are. I don't care what it looks like from the outside." I said to the glass of water. I had never been more honest in my life. "I care about _you_."

Morgan sighed, a sound I was quickly becoming familiar with. It meant he was at the end of his rope. His patience was running thin, and he didn't know what else to do. Then he did something I wasn't sure about. He pulled out his wallet, and threw something on the table by his plate.

He started to leave. I blocked him. Standing in front of him wasn't the best idea. I knew he could get past me, but it was about making a statement. I wasn't backing down, even though I was scared as hell. I cared about Morgan. Hotshot. The guy that cared about me because I was sarcastic, and honest with him. He couldn't just run away from me. Not when we were getting somewhere.

"Sit your ass back down in that seat." I would have begged him. Down on my knees, if I thought that would work. I was pretty sure tough was the way to go, but my resolve wavered when I looked up at him. His mouth was set in a firm line. "Morgan. Please."

"We're not doing this here."

"Doing what?" We were really close. Morgan radiated tension, and reluctance. I needed an answer as to what we were doing that couldn't be done in the restaurant. "Where?"

"Talking about this. My place." His place? Oh, god. "Are you serious about this, Lexy? You can still back out." Back out? Of what? Not likely.

"I'm all in." Three words, and Morgan was grabbing my hand, lacing my fingers with his, and moving towards the exit. What the hell did I just agree to?

Morgan had his phone out again, tapping away. I wondered if the magic SUV would show up again when we ended up at the curb. It didn't. Morgan walked me to a very sleek, very expensive sports car. I knew squat about cars, but it seemed nice enough.

"Your place?" I asked once we were both inside.

"Yes." No explanation. No, 'Oh, yea it's only a few minutes', or 'It's just around the corner'. Morgan started the car, and drove. You would have thought he was a professional race car driver the way he wove through the other cars, and broke the speed limit. Ten minutes in, I decided to close my eyes. It felt safer that way. I realized I was gripping my seat only when Morgan took one of my hands in his. He didn't ask if I wanted him to slow down, but I noticed him braking more, and leaning on the gas less after that. I was beyond thankful. Twenty minutes after we got in the car, Morgan pulled into an underground lot, and parked.

"Here we are." I had a few things to say, but kept them to myself. Now was not the time to be pushing Morgan's buttons. He seemed on edge, and I could understand. Maybe he didn't bring girls here. Maybe this was something new for both of us.

My door opened, and then Morgan was looking at me, holding out his hand. This was it. I tried a smile, and climbed out of the car. Morgan led us to a walkway, and then an elevator. We boarded, and he pressed one of the buttons.

I leaned against the railing behind Morgan, it was safe to watch him when he couldn't see me. He must work out. Nobody gets those sorts of muscles by sitting behind a desk his entire life. It was nice to daydream for a few minutes without being concerned about the consequences.

"Lexy." I almost jumped out of my skin, and ended up blushing. The elevator climbed slowly upwards, and Morgan turned. There was something different about him. I knew what it was, it was affecting me the same way. The electricity in the air. The fire, the spark between us. It was why he had whispered my name. It was why I happened to be thinking about his muscles in ways a friend wouldn't dare.

Then there was barely anything between us, and Morgan was kissing me. My shock and wonder battled for a fraction of a second. Wonder won. I kissed Morgan back. Soft, and gentle at first. Then Morgan made a noise that sounded like he might have growled at me, and nothing was separating us anymore. His hands on my waist, pulling me closer. My hands in his hair, deepening our kiss. The elevator made a noise, and Morgan was gone. Pulled away from me. It was over before it started. I glanced at him for a moment, and then got a hold of myself. My pulse was another thing altogether. I straightened my dress, and took a deep breath. My heart was racing. Morgan ran a hand through his hair, and muttered something about elevators and women before he took my hand.

We stepped through the doors into a foyer that led into some sort of living room. It was an enormous space. Too big for just one man, I could imagine a whole family living in Morgan's apartment. It was spotless. No dishes in the sink, no clothes on the floor. The only personalization was the art on the walls. It was some sort of modern style. Nothing like I had imagined. Morgan led me over to the kitchen, and nodded to the breakfast bar. I sat and watched while he poured us each a glass of wine.

"It's nice." Morgan threw me a glance over his shoulder. "Oh, I mean, your apartment. Very nice."

He took off his jacket, and I almost didn't catch his next question. My mind was roaming, wandering, daydreaming. It was like a snap back to reality."So the kiss wasn't nice?"

"The kiss was...um.." Nice didn't even begin to describe the kiss. Try extraordinary, or amazing. My hands started to shake just thinking about it.

The grin on Morgan's face did not get past me. "Epic?

"That works." Now we had a label. Great. Fan-freaking-tastic. That's why I came here. To kiss Morgan Cemper, and write a book about it. Morgan wandered over to the living area, and stretched out on the large brown sectional. I briefly wondered why he had a sofa that could probably seat ten people comfortably, then decided I didn't want to know.

"Sign this." Morgan gestured to the piece of paper on the small coffee table, then reconsidered. "Please."

"What is it?" Paperwork? I had to sign a paper? I thought we were going to talk. Figure things out. I didn't want to work for the guy, I just wanted answers.

"An NDA."

**A/N : This chapter was sort of hard for me. Sorry it took so long, the next one should be up maybe by tonight? ****Thank you for the reviews. You. Are. Amazing. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N : Hey guys. Here's a huge warning. Some of you might not like me by the end of this chapter. I'm just gonna say that I'm sorry in advance. This was the plan all along, and I'm running with it. You know what they say. Can't take the heat...**

"NDA? What does that stand for?"

"It's a non-disclosure agreement. Basically says that you can't talk about anything that happens here. It's for my own safety**, **or so my grandfather informs me."

I stared at Morgan blankly for a few seconds. Trying to figure out how to digest this new hurdle. I realized that nothing was going to be easy between us. If I had to sign a paper before we said anything, life was going to be hard. Morgan was a work in progress, and this was his family's safety net. That's all. People would take advantage, I knew that, but I wasn't one of those people.

"What if I don't sign?" I thought I knew the answer, but it didn't hurt to ask. Morgan shook his head once, and looked away from me. That was all the answer I needed. I wasn't about to let him go. I wasn't going to let this chance pass me by. Morgan Cemper Grey was offering me a way in, and I was jumping on that train. I was all in. "You have a pen?"

Morgan fumbled through his jacket, and handed me a pen. I tried to take it, but he wouldn't let it go.

"Lexy. This doesn't mean I'm telling you everything. We have to start small, okay? I can't just give it all up..."

"Baby steps." I said, taking the pen, and signing the bottom line. I held the paper up in front of him. "Where's yours?"

"What?"

"Do you have another of these? I want you to sign one."

"Why?" Morgan looked even more confused than I had expected. He was slow to catch up, but I hoped he would understand. It was only fair.

"I signed one. I have things to say that I don't want anyone else knowing either. Things I would prefer you kept under your hat. Things that could ruin me, Morgan. Now, do you have another paper, or not?"

He studied me for a moment, and then got up and left. I watched him walk into what looked like some sort of study, and heard a drawer open. Morgan slammed it shut, and came out of the room holding another paper. Sitting next to me, he held his own paper up.

"I have never been asked to sign one of these."

"Join the club. It's called Suckers for Information. We meet every Tuesday." I handed Morgan the pen, and we shared a smile before he signed his full name. Then we swapped papers, and sat back on the couch.

I had never been in this sort of situation before. Now we were both free to talk about whatever we wanted, but who started? I was out of my depth, so I sat and waited for more instruction. Morgan seemed to be leading this whole adventure, I was mostly along for the ride. Not that it was a bad ride, it was pretty damn awesome to tell the truth, but I hoped maybe this would give me some more weight, standing, anything.

"So." Morgan said.

"So." I echoed. Then I took a leap. Off a very tall building. With no safety net. "Did you love Keroline Pace?"

Morgan leaned an elbow on the back of the sectional, and rested his head on his fist. I had the same feeling from the car. Morgan's undivided attention brought more butterflies to the surface. I was afraid of the answer. Of what it would mean for both of us. If he was still attached to her...I wasn't sure what to do about it. "You don't beat around the bush, do you?"

"Nope."

"I think..."Morgan glanced around the room, and then his eyes settled on me again. "I think I thought I loved her. Does that make sense? I wanted her to love me. I needed someone, and she seemed up for it. More like she was ready for my money. Mom was right about Kerry. She never wanted me, she wanted the idea of someone like me. Does that answer your question?"

Um, what? "You needed someone." Morgan nodded once, and then continued.

"I've been alone for a long time, Lexy. I wanted someone to share my life with. I was ready to make a serious commitment. I thought Kerry wanted the same thing, but she wasn't worried about what I wanted."

That sounded terrible. Alone for a long time? Serious commitment? Share his life? Whoa. Morgan was looking for his life partner. For his other half. Did he think about me that way?

"Why didn't you tell me you were a Grey? Why just Morgan Cemper?"

"There's a few reasons. It was easier to break it to you slowly. Isn't it easier to take something a little at a time instead of all at once? I wasn't trying to keep things from you Lexy, I just didn't want to give you a panic attack in the car. Plus, my father has this thing." Morgan rolled his eyes then, and smirked. Adorable. "What can I say, he's a control freak about certain things."

"So, that's your name then? No other surprises there?"

"No, that's my name." That earned me a real smile. "Although, I have to say, Hotshot is still very original."

"It fit." I shrugged. "Parents?"

"Christian, and Anastasia Grey. You already know Mom." Now it was Morgan's turn to shrug. "Not much to tell."

"Your mom has practically built my career, and there isn't much to tell? How do they feel about...?"

"What? You? I haven't told Mom. Dad has an idea, but I didn't give any specifics. Some days he is more understanding than Mom in that respect. They're both overprotective of the four of us, but after Kerry, Mom sort of had a breakdown. I have to keep reminding myself that I wasn't always the easiest kid to deal with. Out of all of us, I was the one who couldn't get myself together. I gave my parents plenty of problems when I was younger."

"What do you mean? Problems?"

Morgan gave me a sad smile, and then started to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. I had wondered why he always wore long sleeve shirts, but it never occurred to me that he might have a drug problem. Morgan pushed the rolled sleeve up past his elbow, and I covered my mouth with my hand.

"I wasn't always on the straight and narrow, Lexy." Morgan veins looked like they were shot to hell. He must have had a serious problem, and by the look on his face, he didn't like talking about it.

"Are you..."

"Clean? Yes. Four years now. Not that it makes it any easier." I watched Morgan regard his arm like it was a foreign object. Something he hated. Then he rolled the sleeve back, and buttoned it. "I fucked up, Lexy. Big time. I ran away for awhile, tried to escape everything I thought was wrong with my world. I got tied up with the wrong people. I was in so deep, way over my head. My Dad blew a gasket when he found me. I had never seen him like that. He sent me away, rehab. Got me into therapy. My Dad straightened me out part of the way."

I waited for the end of the story, it didn't come. "And the other part?"

Morgan looked at me then, and I could tell he was holding something back. The other half of this story, he didn't plan on telling me. "I had to figure that out myself."

I broke contact first, and looked back at the papers on the table. No wonder he wanted me to sign an NDA. Duh. Something like that coming out in the press could ruin him, completely. Not to mention it might ruin his family, the Grey empire. People weren't forgiving about the past. I knew from experience that opening up come mean burning a bridge or two. Coming clean, could equal ending a friendship or a relationship. Part of me understood then why Kerry left, but the other half screamed that it was wrong. Morgan was trying to get his life together. He deserved to be happy.

"What about you?" Morgan broke into my silent thoughts, and tapped my knee playfully. Like it was his turn to ask all the questions now. Like the hard part was over. I had news for him. It wasn't.

"What about me?" I pulled my legs up under me, and traced circles on the seat of the sectional. I couldn't look Morgan in the eye. I still wasn't sure I wanted to tell him. What would he say? Rejection was my biggest fear. Something I had been through at least a hundred times. I knew all about it, but it still hurt. It would hurt a lot more coming from him.

"Listen, Lex. You don't have to tell me if you aren't ready. I completely understand." I searched his eyes, making sure that 'completely understand' wasn't code for, 'please tell me'. Morgan was serious, honest, open. I decided to give him a taste of what he was getting into. That way he wasn't completely blindsided by the truth. Like he had said, break it to him slowly.

"I really appreciate that, Morgan. You have no idea." I sighed then, because even the thought of it made me sick. I could only imagine what Morgan would say. How he would look at me. "I'm going to say something. I don't want you to freak out, and I don't want you to ask me anything else. I want you to just focus on one thing at a time. Can you promise you won't ask me anything?"

"Yes, I promise." Morgan was frowning then, looking at my hands that were shaking. Instead of arguing with me, he moved closer, and held my hands steady.

"Ready?" I said. Stalling. I used it to get around what I was feeling. To try and postpone the inevitable. I really didn't want Morgan to see me as some kind of monster. Or, worse, to pity me. Pity was the worst. Morgan nodded, and squeezed my hands. No turning back now. Out with it, Lexy. Come on...

"When I was sixteen, my stepfather raped me." There. It was out there. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his reaction. I heard it instead. Morgan's sharp intake of breath. I felt the air around us tense, my hands were still shaking. I counted to ten, then to twenty before I opened my eyes and chanced a look.

Morgan took his hands back slowly. I watched him make two fists, and stand up. His knuckles were white, pale against his black shirt. Did I disgust him that much? I knew it was going to be bad, but this terrible? I wasn't prepared. Morgan walked into his study. Careful, measured, soft strides. Then he slammed the door hard enough to make me jump. Hard enough to rattle one of the pictures loose on the wall so it hung sideways.

I shouldn't have told him. I should have kept it to myself. It would have been better that way. Easier. Morgan opened up, I just thought...it didn't matter. He couldn't accept me. Not as I was. Broken, beaten, battered.

Stop thinking like that, Lexy. You're stronger now, different. If he can't accept you...it's his loss. As I stood up, I heard something break in the study. Like a glass, or mug. I turned towards the door and waited. Morgan opened the door, and took a deep breath. His hair was sticking out at all angles, and he looked exhausted. A few minutes in his study had almost aged him. He closed the door behind him, and walked over to the sofa, finding the exact spot he had been sitting in just moments ago. Morgan tried to smooth his hair and then gave up, and looked at me.

I measured his look. No pity. No judgement. Just Morgan. I sat back on the sectional, and tilted my head.

"You're okay?" My voice was barely a whisper. I was afraid to break the idea that he was accepting me. That he was back.

"Me? You're worried about me?" He pushed both hands through his hair in an act of exasperation. "I'm fine, Lexy. I just want to ask you a million questions, and you made me promise not to."

"I know, and that's why I asked you to promise. I just...I don't want to ruin tonight. And If I go into the details, if I go there right now?" I shake my head. "Please don't ask me to go there, Morgan. Not tonight."

"I'm not giving up on this." Determined Morgan was back.

"Yes, Hotshot, I know. You get what you want. Can we just...forget about all of this tonight?"

"How would you like to forget?"

Morgan trailed a finger on the inside of my knee, and gave me a grin that would make any other girl fall on her knees. I almost did, but restrained myself, closing my eyes. Loving the small trail of fire that was blazing through me. Morgan was barely touching me, and yet I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything. He seemed to know, and understand that fact. That's why he was torturing me.

"I would kill for you to kiss me again."

"Really?" His tone was almost uninterested. Like he was bored with the thought.

"You have no idea."

Morgan leaned in, as if to kiss me, and his lips almost touched mine. Then he was standing, and pulling me up with him. Pulling on my hand, leading me somewhere.

"I think we're done with the paperwork for now." Hallelujah. When Morgan pushed open the bedroom door, I could have died of happiness. No more talking, or running. No more insanity. No more reality. Just Morgan, and Lexy. Just us.

**A/N : P.S. I have read about the review about Lexy and Morgan sort of jumping into things. So, I'm going to answer with a question. How do all of you feel about love at first sight? Is it real? Does it happen in every day situations? Do you see someone, and just know that you're meant to be together? That's sort of what I was going for here, but if that's unrealistic, I am open to change. I love and appreciate all of the reviews. Thank you! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : First and foremost, thank you for the overwhelming amount of reviews. Because of that, you get another chapter today! Yay! I believe in love at first sight, my husband is proof enough. I shouldn't have doubted myself, but I figured I would double check. The vision I had of Lexy and Morgan, was sort of like history repeating itself in some ways, and reinventing in others. There are SO many surprises left, I can't wait for you guys to find out, and I'm glad you love the story as much as I do. Please read, and review. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**I think you are all due for some fluff, and flirt. :) If you don't like the mushy stuff, feel free to skip to the end, but make sure you read the end!**

Something was heavy. It was almost hard to breathe. My hands went to remove whatever was pushing me. Whatever was holding me down. They caught in something else.

I opened my eyes, and looked down. Morgan. For a few seconds, I thought I was caught up in some sort of amazing dream. Then I remembered the night before. Oh, Morgan. My hands were tangled in his coppery, messed up hair. His head was on my chest, and he was sound asleep. That's why it was hard to breathe. That's why it felt like I was trapped in a furnace. I had fallen asleep propped up on two pillows, wearing his black dress shirt, exactly the way I remembered. Morgan hadn't been holding me so tightly then. He had been on the other side, his side of the bed. He slept on his side, if I remembered correctly. I watched the rise and fall of his shoulders for a few minutes, not daring to move too much. Morgan looked so peaceful, so carefree while he was sleeping. I didn't want to wake him. I left one hand in his hair, and moved the other to rub slow circles on his back. A rare moment, to study him. I savored it.

I had never considered more before. Never worried about being alone in the future. I was content with my life. I didn't want more before this amazing man stepped into my life. Before Morgan Grey, I never would have considered these kind of thoughts. I would have thought this was some sort of crazy dream, had I not been touching him. I didn't think anyone could ever want me, could ever want this with me. Not after what I had been through. Morgan didn't know everything, but he took what I gave him, and tried to understand. Never before had I thought about my future. But now?

Now, I wanted it all. I wanted to be able to wake up to Morgan, like this, for...? Yea, I would take that. Hell, I would take the promise of waking up like this tomorrow and run with it. I would take whatever he was willing to give me. Maybe. Maybe this was my chance. Our chance. I would gamble _everything_ on Morgan. A relationship? I could try that. Really, I could. Relationships had never lasted more than six months for me. Normally when someone found out about my not so easy past, they made excuses. They skipped out. I had a feeling Morgan was different.

I moved my other hand away from his hair. Morgan's arms only tightened around me, and I held my breath for a beat while I pushed his hair away from his face. His cheeks were heated, but he didn't make any move away from me. Morgan's grip loosened a little, and he blinked a few times. I was still making figure eights, and circles on his back, but now I stopped. Now he looked like he might wake up. Morgan pushed his weight to his elbows, and blinked at me.

"Lexy." A lazy smile spread over his face when he realized where he was. There was only thought in my head then. Morgan was gorgeous, and I wanted him. "That's my shirt."

"Yes, dear. It does happen to be your shirt."

"What time is -" I cut him off, putting my hands on either side of his flushed cheeks, and bringing his face to mine. I kissed him like we had forever, and all I wanted was him. Morgan was taken by surprise at first, but he got over it not long after. He caught on, and moved closer to me, pulling the sheet up over us. Then we were both laughing, kissing, and watching each other. Eventually, the moment broke, and Morgan rolled over to his side of the bed to get his phone. I watched him lay on his back, and tap on the phone with a blank expression. Back to work already, that didn't take long.

"Never woke up like that before." I hadn't either. No wonder I thought it was a dream. I watched him flick through things on his phone, more work stuff, and then turn back to me with a puzzled expression. "How long were you watching me?"

"Long enough."

"For what?"

"To know that you don't snore." To know that I've fallen for you, Morgan. To know that you're all I want. To know that you're the best thing that's happened to me in quite some time, and if you end this I'm going to be broken inside. I pulled the sheet around me, and played with one of the corners while I watched Morgan get dressed.

"You should have moved me. I must have been crushing you."

I shook my head, looking at the sheets. "I was comfortable. I didn't want to wake you."

"I was comfortable too." He paused, glancing at the bed and frowns. Then he's moving again, whatever had crossed his mind is gone, pushed aside. "Aren't you going to get up?" Morgan asked, pointing his chin at the bed while he buttoned his shirt.

"Kicking me out already? It's only..." I glanced at his phone that he had left on his side of the bed. "7:30." I groaned. That was wayyy too early for me to be awake.

"I thought maybe we could catch breakfast together, and then I'd swing you home before work. And..." Morgan grabbed the sheet, and started to slowly yank it away from me. "I am dying to see you get out of bed."

Oh. The playful grin on his face dared me. He was twenty three again, and unfazed by his problems. "We might not make it to breakfast like that, Hotshot."

"Who needs breakfast?" Morgan tossed the sheet aside, and crossed his arms. "Fuck breakfast."

"You just finished getting dressed." I pointed out, flinging my legs over the ridiculous bed. Honestly, who has a bed this huge? I stood up, hands on hips, and smiled at him. His shirt was way too big, the bottom making it at least to the tops of my thighs. He had helped me roll up the sleeves a little bit last night, when I discovered just how long they actually were. Morgan's easy grin slipped off his face. "What? What is it?"

Morgan rubbed his eyes, and then looked at me. I pulled his shirt down even farther. I had no idea what was wrong with him all of a sudden. "My parents. This is what they have. Everyone always thinks that my mother was a gold digger. That isn't it at all, I knew that. But I never knew. I never had...this."

So. He felt it too. It wasn't just me. Now. I should tell him now, if he's feeling it too... "Morgan..."

"We should get going. If I stay here much longer with you dressed like that, I'll never make it to work." He smiled once more at me, then grabbed something off the floor, and made for the bathroom.

Way to blow the perfect opportunity, Lexy. Nice job. I gathered my clothes, and proceeded to take off Morgan's shirt. After getting myself back together, and trying to tie my crazy hair back, I looked at the shirt again. It smelled like Morgan, like right before it rained. Oh, hell. Why not? I folded the shirt, and hugged it to my chest. I was not leaving without this. Call me a stalker, call me crazy, call me happy. I was stealing Morgan Grey's shirt.

I wandered over to his walk-in closet, and peeked in. Whoa. He could spare one shirt. Damn, he could give me half of his wardrobe and still be well dressed. I didn't even have that many clothes. Black suits, dark colored shirts, and shoes lined the walls. I took a hesitant step in, and then another. A walnut dresser was sitting fairly close to the doorway, and I cracked open a drawer. Jeans? I had never seen Morgan wear jeans before, but maybe he only wore them on weekends or something. It seemed like for every one mystery I solved, there were two more to hang around the back of my mind.

"Nosy little thing, aren't you?" Morgan was standing in the doorway, laughing at me. I jumped at the sound of his voice, I hadn't planned on him finding me snooping. Ah well, might as well run with it...

I pulled out a pair of dark jeans, and held them up. I wore jeans all the time, it was one of my staples in my closet. "Do you wear these?"

"Not normally."

"They're nice."

"Oh? How nice?"

"Epic nice." We shared a smile, as I folded the jeans and put them back. Stepping out of his closet, Morgan offered me a tour of the place. I accepted, glad I didn't have to leave yet. Ten more minutes with Morgan? Yes, please. It didn't matter if we were watching the grass grow, I would have said yes.

Morgan started in the living room, explaining about the sectional (his father had selected it so he could have everyone over), and then showed me the kitchen. It was open, beautiful really. My kitchen paled in comparison. We moved on to his study, which had been his father's before. The whole place had belonged to his Dad. Back then, Morgan claimed it was like his bachelor pad. That was before he met Morgan's mother, and they settled on a nice house out in the wide open spaces. The study was huge, and the desk was set to match the space. Folders, and paper littered the top, but there was some sort of order about the whole place. Morgan showed me the door to the guest room, claiming it was full of boxes. I didn't buy that for a minute, something about the look on his face told me it wasn't what he claimed. I wasn't born yesterday, but I let it fly. I didn't want him in every room in my house either, some things were better kept under wraps. Including my personal library. Embarrassing much?

"What's upstairs?"

"The laundry room, and another room I haven't been in yet." Haven't been in yet? Who gets a place and doesn't look through all the rooms first? What if there was some creepy guy living upstairs? Imagination running wild today much? It was probably just another spare room. He had enough of them here.

"Why not?"

Morgan shrugged. "I've only been living here for three months, Lexy. That's why some of my belongings are still in boxes. I've been busy." He gave me a quick smile then, and tugged on my hand. "Come on, let's go have a look." I followed Morgan upstairs, letting him lead me to see the laundry room. Then there was a large door, and Morgan was making a face.

"It's locked."

"Do you have a key?" I released Morgan's hand, and waited. He procured a set of keys from his pocket, and looked through them.

"My dad gave me a few keys." He held them up as he listed them off. "One for the elevator. One for the front. And...this one that I haven't used yet." I looked at the mysterious key. There was a red rubber cover on it. Morgan considered it, and then tried the lock. I heard the door unlock, and we shared a look between us. My imagination was running wild, doing back flips now. I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined what was in that room. "I bet there's just some old stuff in here. Boxes and..."

Morgan opened the door, and stepped inside before me. I heard his low curse, and I gasped. "Holy..."


	7. Chapter 7

"...shit." Morgan had dropped the keys. I was barely standing on my own, I had to hold onto the door frame.

"What the hell?"

Whips, canes, ropes, and a bed that rivaled the one downstairs dressed in red sheets. That's what. We had walked into a red room of...? I didn't even know. I had to cover my mouth to keep from yelling. There was latticework on the ceiling, and cuffs hung from it. There was some sort of toolbox that I didn't even want to think about, and a sound system. This was some sort of torture room. This was insanity, and I would have no part of it.

"M-morgan." My voice was a whisper. This room was bringing up stuff, memories, that I never wanted to relive. The ropes, the pain. I had to get out of there. I couldn't cry. Not right now.

Morgan on the other hand, seemed rooted to the spot. He couldn't stop looking at everything, with his mouth open. Like he had wandered into some sort of jungle in the middle of his house. He was having a hard time. I could understand. It was shocking.

"Morgan." I said it with more force now, hoping to get to him. Things were coming back quicker now. Flashes of something I never wanted to repeat.

"My father." Morgan's hands twisted into fists, and the look on his face clearly spoke of rage. "What did he tell me. 'Escala is just what you need. Escala was the answer to my problems.'. That bastard. Oh my god. Mom..." Whatever he was thinking, wasn't rational. I could barely make sense of it. Escala? The name of the apartment, maybe? His father?

"Morgan!" I was crying now, moving to the hallway. I couldn't deal with what was in that room. I couldn't handle it. I sunk to the floor outside of the room, and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"Lexy?" I heard Morgan's footsteps, and then he was kneeling in front of me, pulling me to his chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't know, Lex."

I sobbed into his shirt, holding onto his jacket. _His_ face was haunting me now, taunting me. Morgan's voice pulled me out of it, he was stroking my hair away from my face. "I'm sorry, Lexy. So sorry."

I took deep breaths, trying to get myself under control again. Wiping at my eyes, I looked up at Morgan's tortured, angry look. He didn't know. I knew that, there was no way he would have led me upstairs. No way he would have opened that door for me if he had realized what was in there.

"Y-you're going to b-be late." My breath was still hitching in my chest. The panic was leaving, but it was still there.

"Hush, now. Just relax. I don't want to have to take you to the hospital because you're having a panic attack. Just breathe for a couple minutes, Lexy."

I did as I was told. I listened to Morgan's own breathing, and tried to copy it. Mimic the calm. That worked, and after a few minutes, I felt a little better.

"What the hell was that." I asked quietly, looking up at Morgan.

"I don't know. But my father and I are going to have a chat about this place. He never... Are you alright for a minute?" I nodded, and moved away from Morgan. I was okay now, but that didn't mean I ever wanted to go back in there. Morgan was still kneeling, his eyes roaming over my face, searching. "I'll be right back, okay Lex?"

"Okay." Morgan stood up, and walked back into the room. I waited until I heard him pick up the keys, and then I tried to stand up. Picking myself up. Dusting myself off. I wondered what I had just forced Morgan to think about. What his father, or his parents were into.

No. I wasn't going to think about it. I was going back downstairs. Back to where it was safe, and normal, and real. I gripped the railing hard, concentrating hard on not falling down the stairs. That's just what Morgan needed, a trip to the hospital after everything he was working through. I made it to the bottom of the stairs, and then I wandered over to the couch and pulled myself into a ball. Closing my eyes for a few minutes to get a hold on my emotions. I can't cry again in front of Morgan.

Then, I heard the elevator ping, and I knew Morgan and I wouldn't be alone for much longer. I looked over the sectional, just in time. Just as Christian Grey walked off the elevator, and called for his son.

"Morgan!"

I could honestly say that Morgan had his mother's eyes. There was no doubt there. Everything else? The hair, the build, the way he walked even, was all inherited from his father. Did all the Grey men look the same? Were they all duplicates of their father? I didn't have any more time to wonder. Morgan's footsteps were on the stairs now, he was almost to the living area. I suddenly decided this was a family affair, and that I should definitely leave. I did not want to be in the middle of these two, this pair, fighting. I stood up just as Morgan was coming in, just as he brushed past me, and put something in my hand, closing my fingers around the cold metal.

"Morgan, I should..."

"Lexy, take my car. Go." He didn't wait for an answer, there was no arguing with the look on Morgan's face, or his tone. It was steel, ice. It almost made me flinch away from him. I had a brief image of him negotiating a business deal with that tone of voice, and realized why he was so great at what he did. Morgan never took 'no' for an answer.

Nothing stopped me from grabbing his lapels, and attempting to get him to look at me. Putting myself right where I didn't want to be, in the middle of the two Grey's. "Morgan. Look." I snapped my fingers, once, and he broke his father's gaze. I turned Morgan so that his back was to his father. The less he looked at Christian, the better. "Stop this, now. Don't let it get the best of you. Don't let it make you do something you're going to regret. I'm sure there's a reason. Calm down, Hotshot. Calm down, and kiss me before I go. Can you do that for me? Please?"

I saw part of him turn from angry, to concerned. Morgan leaned so his forehead touched mine, and heaved a great sigh. "For you." Morgan took my face in his hands, and kissed me gently. The tension was still there, but he got past it, just for a few seconds. I was thankful for that. When he let me go, and I opened my eyes, he gave me a quick smile that apologized for everything. I held the key up, just to double check.

"Your car...you're sure?" Truth was, I wasn't sure. The car wasn't my style, too fast for my liking.

"Of course. I'll get it later. Go, Lexy."

"Yes, Morgan. I'm on it." The only problem was, I had to get past Christian Grey to get to the elevator. I tucked some of my unruly hair behind my ear. Grabbing Morgan's shirt, and my purse, I started the walk. I didn't get very far until Christian made his intention known.

"Morgan. I believe you haven't introduced us." His tone was civil and cold. I was immediately struck by how calm he appeared on the outside. Except for the grey eyes that followed me, assessing my every move. I felt like this was some sort of test, and I was failing miserably.

"I'm not planning on introducing her to _you_." Ohhkay. I'll just be going now... Don't mind me...

Christian stuck his hand out to me before I could continue. "Christian Grey, and you are...?" There was that tone again. The one you couldn't say 'no' to. It must have been genetic, because Morgan seemed to be immune to the effects.

Morgan brushed past his father, and tried to get me to the foyer. I figured I owed Christian Grey nothing, but I could at least tell him who I was.

"Lexy Millen."

"And you're fucking my son?" Casual question. He could have been asking about the weather outside. But the eyes told a different story. Christian was protecting his son. The one that had been left at the altar. He was warning me._ Me, _Lexy Millen, to not hurt his son, Morgan Grey. You're kidding right? Like I'm going to hurt him? Yea, right. More like he was going to end up hurting me. My heart stopped beating for a few seconds, and I was pretty sure Morgan said something awful that I didn't pick up on. Why did I start with this man? I should have known he was going to pull that card. Should have seen that one coming, Lexy. This guy obviously knew when to pick his battles.

"I happen to care about your son." I said in equal, measured tones. I sounded way braver than I felt. It didn't even sound like my voice. I looked towards Morgan. Nope, that came from me. I turned back to Christian, and crossed my arms. "Whether we're fucking or not, is none of your business, Mr. Grey." I was pretty sure not too many people stood up to the Grey's. But I was_ not _about to discuss my sex life with Christian Grey. No thank you. The look on Christian's face was part amusement, part curious interest. Like I was some sort of bug he had under his magnifying glass, and he was deciding how the best way to kill me would be. Something just happened to remind me that his wife held my career in the palm of her hand at the moment. Damn...

"The last woman that 'cared' about Morgan left him standing at the goddamn altar. What makes you any different, Lexy Millen? Tell me why I shouldn't end this right here, right now."

"Can't tell you. I signed an NDA." I turned around to see Morgan suppress a laugh, and then I walked past Christian Grey.

So. Morgan's car? Crazy expensive. There was no way I was driving that thing back to Escala. Morgan was going to have to get it, or get someone to get it, or something. I was not risking that thing on the road, and I didn't understand how he justified spending that much on his car of all things.

We were going to talk about the car, needless to say. I was _not_ driving it again.

Pulling into my driveway, I saw a flash from the sidewalk. Stalker photography guy. Great. Now he had a picture of me in Morgan's car, wearing my dress from yesterday. As if my day couldn't get any worse. I got out the car, and leaned against it. I waved at him, and the flash went off again. It would probably be on the last page of the stupid magazine anyway.

I noticed a different car parked to the right of my usual spot. A red convertible. I walked to the front door, and found it unlocked. Someone was already in my house? The only other person with a key was...

"Hey sis! Where have you been all night?" Aleah.

**Morgan. **

I watch Lexy get on the elevator, and I reign in my temper one more time before the doors close. I give her a smile so she doesn't change her mind, and she waves at me. I hope she's careful with the car, it isn't the safest thing she could be driving, and she seemed extremely nervous about me driving it last night.

Turning my attention to my father, I gear myself up for the fight that's about to happen. The fight that I'm going to start because of what he's done. I don't even care anymore. The one good thing that's happened in my life. Okay, not true. I have had some pretty great things happen to me, but I still don't want anything to fuck this up. The one thing, he could have ruined. All over something that could have been prevented if he had just been honest with me. I could have lost Lexy, all over something as stupid as a locked room. It's unthinkable, inconceivable, and altogether ridiculous. I roll my shoulders back, and study the cuffs on my jacket. How should I start this? Where's the lowest point I could hit at? He started it, with asking Lexy if we were fucking. He didn't have to direct that shit at her, I knew what he was getting at. He didn't need to make an example out of her. I fully understand, and take responsibility for my shortcomings. Him, on the other hand...

"So. Out with it. You obviously found the room."

"Obviously." I repeat. "You could have fucking warned me. Do you have any idea...? You fucked me over this time, Dad. When I accepted Escala, it was with the understanding that it was safe._ For us_. You fucking call that goddamn room safe? And, I seem to remember you specifically telling me that this place was a _haven_ for you and Mom. What kind of fucked up haven were you talking about? That room looks like hell. Like someone took everything from my worst nightmare and stuck it in that room." Oh, god. I wonder if Lexy has nightmares...

I take a break from ranting and glance at the man I've called father, but never really known. He's watching me, but I can never tell what is going on behind those grey eyes. My mother is the only one who can predict his moods, and she's been known to be wrong on occasion.

"Are you quite finished, or should I wait for the ranting to continue?"

"Lexy was raped, Dad." I start rubbing my temples, this is going to be a long day, and I haven't even started the massive amount of paperwork on my desk. At least this last bit seems to get through to him, because he looks away from me then. "Do you have any fucking idea what that did to her? What it's probably still doing to her? She broke down. She was sobbing so hard she couldn't catch her breath. I almost called the damn ambulance."

"Funny. She seemed to be in control of you, from what I saw." My father smirks, and raises an eyebrow at me. He has me there. Lexy is very effective at getting what she wants. She didn't even ask about that shirt she took, not that I would have taken it back. She was damn adorable in my shirt. _My_ shirt. Still...

"That's not the point. I can't have...that here. And you know why. How could you let something like that around...?"

"The four of you were here, as long as the room is locked it was never a problem. That's why you're having such a tantrum right now, Morgan Cemper. Because of Oakley. She is safe, Morgan. I can assure you. You four were always roaming around upstairs, and none of you could ever get in. I bet you had never given that door a second glance until Lexy showed up and asked about it, did you?"

Come to think of it, I hadn't. It was only when she wanted to see what was upstairs that I wondered what was in that room.

"So. You just leave it all...there? For what? You can't tell me you actually buy into that sort of thing. You can't make me believe you actually use those things." Up until this moment in time, I had still been maintaining the tiny thought that I still knew who my father was. When his expression changed into something far sadder than I had seen before, that thought disappeared.

"Come. Let's have a drink. I'll call Teddy and let him know we need a few hours. He can hold down the fort anyway."

Two hours, and my bottle of brandy from the bottom desk drawer later, I have a glimpse into my parents past. Into my father's childhood. We're sitting on opposite sides of the sectional, as far away as I could dare. And I'm not sure I like it. I'm not sure that I agree about anything that's happened. I'm not sure I want to see my father in that light. He's always been the strong one, the one that held the family together, in control. Control. I understand that word. I need my own control, and maybe we aren't so different after all. The voice of reason in the storm, the light in the dark. Now it just seems...wrong. Twisted, backwards. Everything in my mind is tangled together. I hope it's just the brandy, but I doubt it.

"I should probably apologize about Alexis."

"Lexy." I correct him. "She can't stand to be called Alexis. And you should apologize to her. Did you have to take such a ridiculous stand on the first day?" I take his change of topic as a hint. It means we'll talk more later. He's giving me time to internalize what we've spoken about. I'll come back at a different time with questions, and maybe, I might get a few answers. For now, I push all of those thoughts into a corner in the back of my mind. To be carefully considered, and reviewed later, when I'm alone. When I can think clearly about exactly who, and what, my father is.

"I'll think about it." That means he probably won't, and he thinks he was justified in his actions. I've used the same line myself. "Have you told her yet, Morgan? You know the last time..."

"I know, Dad. I need to tell her about Oakley. I just...I'm not there yet. I don't want to scare her away." I swirl the brandy around the bottom of my glass, watching the light flicker around. We shouldn't be talking about Oakley, not my baby, not after what we just hashed out. I know I need to tell Lexy, but we're both just started working through everything. I can't spring it on her, she just figured out who I was, who I am. Baby steps. A little at a time.

Besides, how do you spring that on someone? Hey, by the way, I have a kid. She's cute, amazing, really. No big deal, just a four year old that enjoys pancakes. Oh, and her mother died by the way. Surprise! Yes, there was no easy way to tell someone you had a daughter that you had been hiding. It was agonizing keeping it from Lexy, but we hadn't been together long, and I had no clue how she would take it as of yet. "How is Oakley by the way? Busy with Nana?" I can't help but smile thinking about her. She's not small anymore, not like she used to be. I knock back the rest of my brandy, and pour myself another glass. Fuck work, I'll just stay home today. Mull things over.

"They were making cookies when I left. God help me. I couldn't play with the dolls anymore, your mother was gracious enough to save me."

"More like you begged her to take over." I'd been there a few times. Oakley was a gorgeous, intelligent four year old, but heaven help me, she was trying some days.

"Is she the one, you think?"

Yet another change of subject. I looked at my father then, and wondered if he was serious, or joking. It was hard to tell some days. "You're serious?" He smirked. "Very funny. Hilarious, really." Is she the one. What the fuck, Dad. I was left at the altar, what...a week, two weeks ago? More brandy, less memory.

"She loves you, Morgan." That was serious. Grey eyes met my blue, and I knew what came next was worth hearing, and remembering. "I'm well aware about Kerry. You and I both know that you had nothing in common, and when she found out about Oakley things went downhill. She was a shitty mistake. It happens, son. But, your mother stood up to me a few times, I know what determination looks like. If you're looking for it, you already have her, Morgan. Don't fuck it up if you can help it. Tell her before it's too late."

"I'm trying not to fuck it up." I leaned back into the couch, and closed my eyes.

**A/N : I can't thank you enough for the reviews! I tried out Morgan's POV, let me know what you think. Thank you for reading. I couldn't write it without you. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

"So, spill it. Where were you last night?" She's twirling a lock of red hair around her finger, watching the TV closer than she's watching me. I love my sister dearly, but now is really not the best time for an invasion of privacy.

"Out." Meaning, get out. As in out of _my_ house.

"No shit, Sherlock." Oh, someone please make her leave. I really don't want to have this conversation with her right now. What I really want, is sleep. More sleep. I shut the door behind me, and drop my purse (and Morgan's shirt) on the chair next to it. I smile to myself at the little conquest. Morgan- 0 Lexy- 1 "Mom thinks you have a boyfriend." Oh, really? I thought we had cleared that up. Maybe my behavior confused her, it's confusing me.

"Shit." I collapse on the couch next to Aleah. She's got a cup of coffee, and a box of cereal sitting next to her. Obviously she's set up camp until I reveal my life story from the minute I got back to town. I take a handful, and start munching. Might as well get it over with. Mom has sent her spy to do her dirty work. "What do you want to know?"

"What the hell are you wearing?"

"It's a dress, Lee. People wear them on dates, out, to generally look nice."

Aleah throws up her hands, and gives me a shocked look. "Alright, Ms. Sarcasm. Who shit in your cheerios this morning? Did he break it off already? One date, huh?" She's so sensitive, my sister.

"I'm tired. I've had a busy morning, and you could have called first." I vaguely wonder how things are going with Morgan and Christian. Best not to go there right now, I have my own hands full of family.

"More like you had a late night, and he didn't let you sleep in." Aleah gives me a wicked smile. Like she knows exactly what Morgan and I were doing last night. She really has no idea. "I did call the house phone. On a separate note, FYI, your milk is expired."

"Wonderful." Could this day get any better?

"My thoughts exactly. Come on. The sooner you tell me all about him, the sooner I can go back to Rob."

"Rob? I thought you guys were done this week." Rob was Aleah's on again, off again, roomie. They had been friends, or something like that, for two years now. That was something else we had agreed on a long time ago. No judging each other. We got enough of that from other people. That's why we could be so honest with each other.

"We're back together this week." I'm not sure what to say to that. Good? Sorry? I'm not even sure how much I can tell her about Morgan. Or the crazy room we found. I did sign the NDA after all. Plus, I don't want her in his face. Aleah can be very trying some days, and I think Morgan has his hands full at the moment. "How's the writing?"

"Good. Great, actually."

Finally, a subject I can be honest with her about. We talk books, paperwork, and the new idea I've been kicking around lately. Aleah has always been supportive of my career. Just because she's honest, and hard sometimes, doesn't mean that she doesn't actually care. It's the way she comes off. Defense mechanism, or so my therapist tells me. I've been told that I do the same thing to push people away.

"This guy, he's into you? Like, for real?"

"I guess..." How should I know? Getting information out of Morgan is like...well pulling teeth. I considered myself lucky that he revealed so much in the last few days.

"Lexy, did you tell him?" The real question that I had been waiting for. Aleah wants to know how much I trust this guy. How much I'm willing to give up. That's the way she will measure how serious I am. If this was just a fling, I never would have breathed a word of my past. Admitting that I opened up to Morgan, will tell her exactly where I think this is going.

"Some of it."

"And...?" Aleah is watching me. Out of everyone, she knows what it's like to feel rejected. That's why she's here. Not to spy on me, to make sure I don't need Ben and Jerry's, and retail therapy because Morgan didn't accept my past. Lee and I have crashed and burned several times together. It's never fun, but being with your best friend, and sister, helps take the edge off.

"He's okay with it. I think...I think he understands, Lee. Morgan might really get me."

"You're serious then. That's great Lexy. I'm happy for you." Aleah gives me a smile, and drains her coffee cup. "Guess I can go home now that I have the full scoop. I'll call mom off the hunt, that way she isn't bothering you."

"Thanks, Lee."

"Don't be a stranger, give me a call once in a while."

"You got it." I watch her open the door, and hear her low whistle.

"Holy.."

"It's not mine. Just borrowing." Seriously. It's going back ASAP

"Wow. I have to pull some serious strings to borrow Rob's car. Very nice, Lexy. This ones a keeper."

I hope he is. "Bye, Aleah."

"Seeya, 'lexis."

* * *

Shower, brunch, and two cups of coffee later, I'm sitting at my computer. To write, or not to write? I should probably get moving on the next chapter, but motivation is just out of reach. I decide to start with my email, that counts, right? I open it, and wait. I haven't checked for a few days, but there's something I don't remember. I frown at the screen, and click on the first new message. What the...

To : Lexy Millen

Subject : Car?

From : Morgan Grey

I would like to have a conversation about the large hunk of metal you call your car. I believe that word has been applied liberally here. Do you honestly think that it is safe to drive? Does it even run?

Morgan Cemper Grey  
Grey Enterprises

I read the email twice before I realize my hands are gripping the desk tight enough to hurt. Oh, the nerve of some people. I'll fix him. My car runs. It isn't new, I don't _need_ brand new things all the time. It's used, but happens to be in great condition. So what if it's a 1986...it's a classic.

To : Morgan Grey

Subject : Yes, it is a car.

From : Lexy Millen

That 'large hunk of metal' has been reliable for three years now, thank you very much. It is safe, and yes, it does happen to run. Not that it's any of your fucking business what I drive, or how safe it is. We should be talking about the safety of _your_ car, and _your _driving skills.

On a separate, more stalkerish note. How did you get my email address, and why are you using it?

-Lex

I press the send button, and open up a few other emails, replying as necessary. Most of it is just junk mail that I haven't been through yet. Morgan's reply is quick. I almost don't open it. He's distracting me, I should resist...but I don't

To : Lexy Millen

Subject : Almost Offended.

From : Morgan Grey

My car is top of the line, so are my driving skills. Before I return your 'large hunk of metal', I will be taking it to my mechanic to ensure that it's safe. Feel free to make use of my car. Consider it a loan, or whatever you want to make it. I'm making it my business because I care about your safety. Deal. With. It.

Spell check? I don't think 'stalkerish' is part of the English language, but I get it. I might have, hypothetically, hacked into my mother's account and borrowed your email address. For professional purposes, of course. :P

Morgan Cemper Grey  
Professional Stalker  
Grey Enterprises

I'm not sure what to say about that. Mechanic, really? Is that necessary? It's been inspected recently, isn't that enough? It is nice that he cares about my safety...I think. I'm not really sure how to take him sometimes. I hit reply after a few seconds and stare at the cursor. This is the last one...

To : Morgan Grey

Subject : Trying to work here..

From : Lexy Millen

Alright then. I need to work now...like seriously. Stop emailing me. You are_ beyond_ distracting.

- Lex

I don't think it takes him a full minute to reply. Isn't he supposed to be at work? How does he get away with sending flirty emails?

To : Lexy Millen

Subject : Something is wrong...

From : Morgan Grey

You didn't put up a fight with the mechanic? Or the loaning? Do you happen to like that I care about you, or are you just itching to write?

I like a good distraction. Makes the day go by incredibly fast. This will be the last email you're receiving.

Morgan Cemper Grey  
Grey Enterprises

I smile at the computer. I didn't put up a fight because it wouldn't be worth it. Maybe I'm not Morgan's closest friend, but I happen to know that I would not have won that argument. It would have been a waste of my time, and my breath to fight over that. If it makes him happy to take care of me, I guess I could live with it.

I open up the clean, boring, document, and start writing. It feels good. It feels right again. I'm glad, because I don't know what I would do without it. It's like my standby, my fallback.

* * *

I roll over, and look at the clock on my nightstand. 1:30? In the morning? What?

My phone buzzes, and I blink at it before reaching out. Who on earth...?

"Hello?"

"Lexy."

"Morgan?" I'm sitting up, and rubbing my eyes. "What is it?" Must be an emergency at 1:30 in the morning. Must be some sort of accident? I hope he's okay. Maybe he wants his car back?

"Are you...Can I come over?" What? Now? Not an accident, no problem, or emergency? I push back my hair, and glance at the clock again. I didn't misread it. That's really what time it is. I'm never awake at this hour. This guy must never sleep. That's great, I've found an insomniac to date.

"I.." A huge yawn cuts me off. God, I'm tired."Yeah, I guess. Right now? Are you at the apartment?"

"No."

Then the weirdest thing happens. Someone knocks on my door the same time I hear the noise through the phone. I look at the offending phone, then ask. "Morgan?"

"Let me in?" Okay, so I'm not imagining things. He's just unpredictable, and crazy. Really crazy. That's all.

"Hold on." I hang up, and put my phone back before crawling out of bed. I head for the front door, and wonder what the neighbors must be thinking right now. I would bet money on Mrs. Burleigh calling my mom to tell her about this incident. There is bound to be at least one phone call from my mother tomorrow morning. Or today. God, it's early.

I unlock, and then open the door to find Morgan leaning against the frame. He's watching the road, phone in hand. Beautiful. How long has he been on my doorstep, just watching? I shake my head, and he turns to me.

"Hey." I'm rewarded with one of his big smiles. The heart breakers. Half of me has forgiven him for waking me now. The other half...

"Morning." I say sarcastically. "Can I offer you some coffee at this hour, or do you prefer tea?"

"I was actually hoping..." Sleep. Please say you just want to sleep here, or you have some really stupid reason. Like your car. Morgan walks into the house, and I close the door and relock it. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

Okay, my brain isn't totally awake yet. But did he just say..? "What? Why?"

"Business."

"Bullshit." Granted, my brain isn't fully functional, but I know a lie when I hear it. I look at him, and try to gauge his reaction. I can't pick up on much. Too tired. He's not giving much away either. "Why, Morgan?"

"Mostly business." Then he's looking at the floor, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Not a normal thing for him to do, so it's about something else. Not me. It's about his father, and the room we found. It's about him trying to figure it out. Getting space. Morgan doesn't want to talk about it, so I decide not to push him. If wants to talk, I'm here.

"Alright." Is that what he came here for? A text message would have been enough. Or a phone call. That would have been okay. After a few quiet minutes, I decide to ask. "Morgan? What else?"

A shy smile. He looks at me. "Can I stay here tonight?"

Oh... It's like my brain is stuck. I just stare at Morgan with a blank look. He? Wants to stay here? Get it together, Lex, he's waiting for an answer! "Um. Yeah, I mean, sure. If you want. The guest room is just down the hall.."

Morgan pushes a hand through his hair, and smirks at me. He must know I'm tired. "Lexy. I meant _with_ you."

I have to admit that sounds way better. Guest room? What the hell was I thinking? "Okay, but I'm warning you, my bed is way smaller than yours."

Then his hand is in mine, and I'm leading him to my room. Morgan is making comments about my home, the structure, the paint. He's actually ranting, maybe he's nervous. Seems weird, knowing what he thinks about where I live. He seems to like it, but decides that I could use some updates. When did he become a designer? This man is so full of surprises. I'm climbing into my bed, and Morgan starts to change as he looks around my small bedroom. I guess he finds it acceptable, he doesn't complain, and starts to unload his pockets. Guys carry so much stuff around with them, I never realized.

"I think this happens to be mine." I watch him finger his shirt on the dresser, and smile. "Who's the stalker now?"

I don't rise to the occasion. I'm too busy watching him in my room. In my house. In my bed, with me. Then he's stretched out on his side, watching me. "Sleep, Lexy. I know you're exhausted." Morgan runs his hands through my hair, and I close my eyes. He really has no idea how true that is, but I need to know the details before I let go.

"Where?"

Morgan knows exactly what I mean. He doesn't even hesitate, or pause while he brushes back my hair. I find it comforting that I don't have to explain my questions. Morgan just gets it. "London."

"For?"

"A week. Maybe."

I hesitate for a few seconds. I know how I feel, but how will he react if I say it out loud? I decide I don't care, he can take it or leave it, but I'm saying it because it's true. "I'll miss you." This makes him pause. This stops him. I open my eyes to see his reaction. Poor Morgan, he's confused. Maybe I should have kept that under my hat until he was actually gone. He obviously didn't see that one coming, even though he knew all of the answers before. I threw him a curve ball. He recovers quickly, and settles into the pillows close to me.

"I'll miss you too. Now get some sleep, Lex."

Somehow the bed is more comfortable with him next to me. I'm glad Morgan invited himself over. I didn't realize I wanted him here until now.

**A/N : Thank you for the encouragement, and the reviews! Hope you like this chapter, was sort of iffy about the emails, but figured I would try. Let me know what you think! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Morgan.**

I feel warm, and comfortable. But that damn alarm is going off again. Why do I set that thing anyway? It's my private jet for fuck's sake. It will leave when I want it to.

I open my eyes, and take a minute to get acclimated to where I am. Lexy's room. Lexy's bed. This morning. I must have seemed like some sort of crazed lunatic, but I couldn't sleep in that apartment. Not after what Dad had said, not after seeing that room. I tossed and turned for hours trying to get some sleep. I had even banned Oakley from the place until I decided on further action. She took the whole thing rather well. Uncle Carrey, however, had not. Oakley staying there meant more princess movies, and dolls. Not his forte.

I untangle myself from her, and the sheets. For some reason, I can't stay away in my sleep. It doesn't matter how hard I attempt to stay neutral, it doesn't work. This morning I had specifically put space between us, and look where I end up. Not that it's terrible to wake up with her, it's pretty damn amazing. I turn the damn alarm off, and briefly check my emails. Three about the trip today, two concerning a merger in Los Angeles, and another from my father. I decide not to open it until I get to London. I'll deal with him then. I only have a short window of time with Lexy this morning, and I'm not about to ruin it.

She was out of it this morning. Almost incoherent. But, she had invited me in. That was something. I rolled onto my side, and propped myself up against the headboard. Maybe I'll just watch her sleep for an hour or so. She's even more beautiful when she's asleep. As if that was possible. Part of me dreads leaving. I don't want to leave Lexy, or Oakley for that matter. But it's for the best. I promised Teddy I would take this trip with him. Promised I would help make this deal work so he didn't need to concern himself. He's the leader, but he needs to delegate responsibility more often. That's part of the problem, he doesn't like to give anything up. He's always worried that no one will do the job that right way, which is why the doctor has informed him (and Dad) he needs to delegate. Or he's going to end up with a heart attack at the ripe old age of thirty. So, the four of us are going to London. Should be interesting.

Lexy shifts in her sleep, and moves closer to me. I hold my breath for a few minutes, until she puts her head on my chest and sighs. God, why do I want to leave again? What was I thinking?

A few more minutes. I'll stay here just for a little longer. Now I know. I know why she wouldn't wake me up yesterday. It's the same reason I don't want to disturb her right now while she's blissfully ignorant of the world around her. I'll just take care of some business, and then I'll go. Really, I will.

She's so damn beautiful.

* * *

"Coffee? Breakfast?"

"Sure." I never imagined someone could be so attractive in pajamas. Lexy pulls it off. I watch her move around the small kitchen with ease. I can't help it, I want to touch her. I want to make sure she's real. That this is real. This feeling I have, it hasn't happened before. Not even with Lauren. I'm afraid I'm imagining it half the time. Dreaming. So, I come up behind her while she's filling the coffee pot, and hold her against my chest.

"Morgan." She warns. It's an empty threat, we both know it. Doesn't stop me from burying my nose in her hair, and closing my eyes. I hear her tiny sigh, and then she's turning in my embrace. Putting her arms around my neck, and pulling me close again. It's not close enough. I pick her up, and set her on the counter so she's facing me. She lets out a little gasp when I pick her up, but doesn't argue. I must be dreaming now, because she's moving closer. Kissing me, and smiling. "I thought you wanted breakfast. Don't you have a plane to catch?"

"Trying to get rid of me already?" I trail kisses on her neck, and she makes a low noise. I won't be seeing her for a week. Who cares about breakfast, or planes?

"Sort of." Sort of? That's not funny, it's serious. Then I have my hands in her hair, and she's trying to pull away. I take the hint immediately. Taking a step back, I shove my hands in my pockets to stop me from touching her. She's uncomfortable for some reason, and I hope it's not me. I couldn't bear it if I made her unhappy.

"What is it, Lex? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." She shakes her head, and fluffs her hair. A nervous habit I've noticed over the last day or two. It doesn't sound that way to me, but I let her pull me to her shoulder, and rake her hands through my hair. Something is bothering her, but I can't seem to catch on to it. I want to force it out of her, make her tell me, but I know that won't accomplish anything. Lexy is her own woman, she will tell me, eventually. So, I rub her back, and kiss her softly again before letting her go. I need her, but I can wait if I have to. Time. We both need more time. I busy myself, finishing with the coffee and turning the pot on.

"Yesterday brought up a lot of old wounds for me, Morgan. It's not you, really. I just keep seeing his face, and I can't get him out of my head."

Shit, Lexy. It breaks me to see her this way. To see her hurting from something I can't control. It makes me angry that she has to feel this way. Lexy should be happy, loved, safe. I feel...protective of her. I touch her knee lightly, so she will meet my eyes and see that I'm being straight with her. "You don't have to explain, love. It's okay. If you want to talk about it, I'm here. But if it hurts, I understand." Believe me, I understand. I will her to see my own hurt so she knows. My past isn't sunshine and rainbows either. It's fucked up. I fucked up, but I've grown since then. Moved on. Turns out your past follows you, but that won't stop me from fighting for my future. I wish I had more time with her, to explain, but I don't. It would take at least most of the day to get through everything, and I'm not ready for her to meet Oakley. That's the only way she will understand. The only chance I have for her to accept my life.

"Thanks, Morgan."

"I have a proposition for you." This gets her full attention again. I'm not even sure what I'm doing. This is business. I shouldn't be asking her along. I probably won't have much, if any time to spend with her.

"Oh?"

"Want to take a trip to London with me?"

* * *

**Lexy.**

I stare at Morgan. He must be joking, right? He's leaving _today_. I haven't packed, I haven't prepared. No one would know that I'm leaving. No, I absolutely can't. It's out of the question.

"I don't have a plane ticket." I should be able to wriggle out of it like that. No ticket = no plane. Right? Simple enough. Except I'm dealing with Morgan Grey, and nothing is simple with him.

"You don't need one." Morgan grins at me, and then I realize I don't really have a choice. I've already tipped my hand. I only had one excuse, and he has a way around it. "I have a plane."

"Of course you do." I sigh, grabbing a mug for coffee. This is crazy. I can't just leave. I glance around the kitchen. Who would miss me? It's not like I have to work, well, I should bring my laptop, but that's not the point. "Wait, who's going on this trip?"

"Just the four of us. Teddy, Dan, Carrey, and me. You would be more than welcome to come along. No one is going to say anything if that's what you mean."

That wasn't what I meant, but it's good to know that if I end up going his brothers will be there. Not his parents. I'm not sure I could look Anastasia Grey in the eye after finding that room. And Christian...I don't want to go there.

So, a week in London with the Grey boys. I hesistate for just a moment longer, but I can tell Morgan knows he's won. There's just something about the way he smiles when I give in.

"Take me with you." His grin is all the response I need to lay out my terms for this trip. "But I'm driving on the way there. And you have to help me pack."

"Deal." Morgan picks me up, and swings me around before kissing me.

I'm going to London. With Morgan. I don't know why, but I would probably follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked the right way and kissed me like that.

* * *

So, I thought Morgan's car was a big deal. It is, apparently, just the tip of the fucking iceberg.

Aleah would be dying right now if she could see this plane. Honestly, who has a damn plane on speed dial? Oh! I know! Morgan Grey, that's who.

Morgan and I shared a few looks at the car before I actually got in. He seemed more worried about me than the car. I had already explained that I wasn't fond of it, and that I hoped to have my car back soon. Morgan brushed me off. Annoying. But he let me drive as slow as I wanted.

He made calls from the passenger seat. A lot of calls. I keep stealing quick glances at him. Keep trying to wake up from this amazing dream, but it's real. We're really going together. I prepare myself for a trip mostly with Morgan on the phone, because after all, this is a business trip. A family trip. It doesn't seem right that I should be breaking up the week, but Morgan has insisted that it's no problem. That Teddy's fiance will be joining us later, and we will get along just fine.

I don't know how it gets better than this.

We park, Morgan and I get out of the car, and he takes my hand.

"Come on, Lex."

"But, my stuff..." My laptop. My whole life is on there. Seriously. He smiles at me.

"The flight attendant will take care of it."

Oh. This is just crazy. "I can get it.."

"Lexy. We're already late. Don't worry about it."

I give in...again. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Is this going to be the new normal? Giving in to Morgan? I file that away for future discussion. Then we're walking up a set of stairs, into a cabin of sorts. It's gorgeous, top of the line. I've never seen a plane look like this before. But I've always been seated with the masses. This is the way to go, if you were flying that is.

"Carrey, you know that's my seat."

"Shut up, Dan. Go sit over there."

"Would you two please just sit the fuck down. We don't have time for your bullshit today."

The oldest son cuffs Carrey behind the head, and then Dan. I realize, in a flash, that they're all clones of Christian Grey. Lord help me, I'm in a plane with all four of them. Why did I agree to this again? A week with all four of them? I can barely survive Morgan.

"Morgan, nice to see you finally showed up."

"What's your rush, Teddy? Relax. Sit down, have a drink."

Morgan's tone invites a fight, if Teddy is willing. A pissing contest? On a plane? It doesn't last long. Teddy sits down, and crosses his arms. No one seems to notice me except Morgan. Or so I thought.

"Who's that, Morgan?" I think it's Carrey, but I can't tell over the seats Morgan has directed me to.

"Come back here, and out of Dan's seat and I'll introduce you." The words aren't even out of his mouth before a blur of blue jeans and pressed white shirt lands in the seat next to me. Grey eyes smile at me, floppy copper curls float around his face. I try a smile back. God, they're all good looking. You couldn't go wrong with any of the Grey brothers. They all seem charming, and wonderful. Carrey doesn't look a day over eighteen, he must be the baby of the family.

"New girl, hey. I'm Carrey. Not Care-y. Car-e." New girl? How many other girls has Morgan introduced them to? I throw him a look that speaks volumes and reply to Carrey.

"Hi, Carrey. I'm Lexy."

"Are you Morgan's girlfriend? He never has girlfriends." Carrey isn't looking at me anymore, he's busy tapping away on a phone, and pulling headphones out of a pocket somewhere. He seemed mildly interested, but who knows? I have no clue how to answer.

"Carrey? Mind your damn business." Teddy answers for me. Carrey makes a face at him, and then turns to Morgan and I.

"Don't mind Teddy, he's just getting too old for fun."

Morgan laughs quietly in the seat next to me before he pleads with his brother. "Carrey, please. This trip will go much smoother if we all try to get along."

"Alright, Morrie."

Then it's my turn to cover a laugh. Carrey already has his headphones in, and he's bopping along to some loud song. I turn to Morgan, and mouth "Morrie?". He tips his head back, and moans, covering his eyes. It causes me to laugh even more. This trip might be more interesting than I thought.

* * *

What feels like days later, we all exit the plane, and load ourselves into an SUV. Everyone is blissfully silent. The only noise is from Carrey's music blaring in his ears. The poor kid might be deaf by the time we get where ever we're going. Morgan has his arm around my shoulders. I welcome the contact, the possessiveness doesn't bother me as much as it probably should. I tuck my head under his chin, on his chest, and pull my legs under me. Before I know it, Morgan is waking me up.

"We're at the hotel. Here's the card, I'll be there later." Oh. He's dropping me off. Business. That's right.

"Okay." I glance around at the brothers. I feel like I should say something. Do something. What would a sister, or mother do when their men are leaving? I don't know them all that well... Then it comes to me. I kiss Morgan, and he smiles at me, the question on his face."For luck." I explain. Then I move around the car, and kiss each of the boys on the cheek. Teddy gives me a quick peck, Carrey seems delighted and hugs me as well. Dan, who hasn't spoken a word since I got on the plane, tells me about a restaurant down the street that he loves. I smile, and wish him luck,giving him a quick peck. Then I'm out of the car, and Morgan is waving goodbye.

I wave back, and watch the SUV pull away into traffic. I feel like I might have left my heart in that car, with Morgan. I stand still until the SUV is gone, turned down on one of the streets. Someone coughs politely, and I turn around.

"Miss." An older man, he's holding my bags, waiting for me to stop thinking about Morgan.

"Oh, okay." I look at the card Morgan has given me. The number is the only thing I understand, the rest is a mess of letters. I walk into the hotel lobby, with the older man trailing me. I feel out of my element again. That weird feeling that says I don't belong. I miss Morgan, and he's only just left. This is his world, and I'm just trying to fit into it. I sigh, looking at the expensive lobby.

Thankfully, my friend seems to know just what to do. He talks with the secretary at the desk, and then pushes the button for the elevator. I follow him. Because there's no choice. If I don't go, I'm giving in to the thought that I really don't belong here. So, I get into the elevator, and hold the card tighter in my hand.

"I'm Lexy." I say to the older man. I feel the need to at least tell him who I am. He seems to be my shadow. I'm somewhat thankful, also a little weirded out.

"Miss Lexy. I'm Mr. Tine." He has a name. That's good. We don't say anything else in the elevator. I'm lost in my thoughts of what comes next.

I'm afraid of what I'm going to find on the other side of the door of our hotel room. What I should have been worried about was which floor we were going to. I step out of the elevator on the 23rd floor of the hotel, and look at the card again.

123. Ha. It's almost funny. I look at Mr. Tine.

"Your choice of the rooms, Miss." Wait, say what? _My_ choice?

"Um, doesn't Morgan have a room already?"

"My instructions were for you to pick which one you would like. It doesn't make any difference to the Grey's which room is theirs."

His instructions. Okayy, so he works for Morgan. I look to my left, then to my right. There are four doors on this floor. Exactly four, that can't be coincidence. Do they own the hotel too? I shake my head at the rooms. This is too much. I don't care which room, I just want Morgan to be happy with my choice. I turn to Mr. Tine again. It's worth a shot.

"Could you tell me which room Morgan normally picks?" In response, the older man moves to the end of the hall, I follow. Mr. Tine sets my bags by the door, and holds out his hand. Oh, right, the card. I hand it over, and wait until the door is open and Mr. Tine is inside before I take the leap.

I instantly know why this is the room Morgan likes. Why he stays here. It's the view, the full length window on the other side of the room. It reminds me of Escala in a strange way. The views there are breathtaking. I wonder how many times Morgan has stood here and watched the sun come up. I close the door behind me, and take in the rest of the room.

It's amazing. Everything you could want to make you feel at home. A small kitchen, a large bedroom, closets, even a little study with a desk, and a living area.

"Is it to your liking?" Mr. Tine asks. I almost laugh. What's not to like?

"It's perfect, thank you."

**A/N : So, we went to London! With the boys. What do you guys think? **

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and reviewing. It means the world to me. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

An hour later, I've explored the place that Tine calls a 'room'. It's more like a decent sized apartment to me. It's more than I could have imagined. Tine has left me brochures on things to do around London. Museums, art festivals, and parks. All sorts of wonderful places that I've never been to.

I'm excited to tour the city, and enjoy myself. But part of me holds back, and wants to wait to share it all with Morgan. He would probably love to see the art show tonight. He has all of those interesting paintings at Escala. I bet he enjoys that sort of thing. So, I start to unpack some of my things. Putting them away. Tine has brought up Morgan's bags. He has more clothes than I do it seems.

After arranging my things, I decide that the sister/mother part of me wants to help him. I'm not sure what to make of her, this new piece of me. It must come from caring about the men around you. Not being fearful of what they might do.

Who knows when he will get back today? It shouldn't be that hard to unpack Morgan's things.

I start with his suits, putting them away neatly in the closet. Does this man only wear black? What is the deal? I try to picture Morgan in something else, maybe green? Blue? Yea, right. The only color in here is black.

But...there's hope. He's packed a pair of the dark jeans I took out in Escala! I almost jump for joy. It's so stupid, I mean, a pair of jeans are making me happy? But I can't help it. He's thought of me, and I feel important again. I must belong with him, in this hotel, if they're in his suitcase. Right? I know I made the right choice to travel to London with Morgan.

I finish unpacking Morgan's things, and shove the bags into the closet. The room seems more lived in now with our belongings. It has some sense of symmetry everywhere I look. My clothes, Morgan's clothes. My laptop, Morgan's laptop. My toothbrush, Morgan's toothbrush. It's weird, but okay. I feel more at home, sort of. So, I decide to get my computer out, and check my emails. I call my mom, and Aleah while I go through them. They're both surprised that I left with Morgan. My mom is not thrilled, I can tell. She's using words like too fast, taking advantage, stranded. I inform her that it isn't her choice, that I'm making my own decisions, and yes I am an adult. After a few more terse words, she hangs up with me. Aleah is more understanding, encouraging. She gets it, and only complains that she didn't get to come along. We talk about writing, and a little about Morgan before she turns the subject back to Rob. They might be splitting again, which never surprises me, but I play along like the good sister. I hang up with her, with the promise to bring something back. I shut the computer down, and give up on writing for awhile. Maybe I'll just nap until Morgan gets back.

I jump awake when I hear the door open, and close.

"Morgan?" I ask from the bed. I'm still half asleep, at this point, but I hope it's him. I look around for a clock, but I'm not accustomed to the room yet. I can't find one.

"Yes, dear." I smile when he appears, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. Morgan seems tired, but okay. I hope his day wasn't terrible. He glances at the closet, and then at me. His face is a mask, I can't tell if he's happy or not. "You unpacked?"

"Yes, dear." I reply, and smirk. "How was work?" A huge sigh then. Morgan sits on the edge of the bed next to me, and fusses with his hair. I trail a hand over the back of his suit jacket.

"Fine. These things are always slow. Carrey is bored out of his mind, Teddy is stressed about the deal, and I can't get Dan to give any input either way. But other than that, it's fine."

Doesn't sound fine to me, but maybe I don't know much about his business. Maybe it's about the room he found. I know that's been bothering him, but I have no idea what to say. Morgan just needs to come to terms with his father's past, I just can't fix it for him. "What about you?" He's listed off about his brothers, but never about himself. That was my real question.

"Fine. I'm fine." Morgan leans back against me, and closes his eyes. I shift in bed so there's more room for him. Morgan ends up under me, arms behind his head, in my arms, looking up. "Do you like the room?"

"It's wonderful, Hotshot. Do you own this hotel?"

Morgan smiles and shakes his head. "Dad owns it. What did you do while I was gone?"

I tell him about my phone calls, and boring emails. He listens patiently, and replies when I ask him about the meetings. I play with his hair for awhile, until he closes his eyes. Until he's relaxed. Then I pop the question, and hope he's willing to talk about it.

"Did you talk about the room?"

His eyes fly open, and he almost tries to sit up. "I don't want to.."

I push him back. "You should get it off your chest. It's eating you alive, Morgan. I signed an NDA, remember?"

"I'm not worried about you talking to someone, Lexy. I just don't want to make you uncomfortable. Like before. That's not my intention." Morgan's face tenses then, and he looks at me. "I know I said I wouldn't ask any questions that night, but could you..?"

"Tell you? You want me to tell you, _now_?"

"You want me to talk about my father's Red Room of Pain!" Morgan whispers fiercely.

I can't get over it. I don't want to tell him. I would rather skip the whole thing. And really? The Red Room of Pain? It's accurate, and scary. "I only thought it would make you feel better. To talk about it." I mumble, and flop back on the bed. I throw an arm over my face so he won't look at me. Why did I bother?

"I guess it disturbs me that my father felt that sort of need. That compulsion. Makes me wonder about my own tendencies. Makes me question who I am in some ways."

He's talking. To me. This is progress, right? "Do you feel the need to...?" I'm not sure what the right words are, or the correct terms. Morgan gets my point. He says the next few words slowly, like he's making sure they feel right.

"I don't think so."

"Morgan." I roll over to look at him, and he opens his eyes. "I've seen the whole control thing. Take my car for example. You needed to control that part of my life, right? Why was that?"

"Because I could. Mostly because I couldn't stand the thought of you getting in that deathtrap again and hurting yourself. Not when I could do something about it."

"That's the issue, right there. 'Because you could'." Oh, how would a therapist put it? "It's like, it doesn't matter what I think, or what anyone else thinks. Because you can, because you want to, you think you should. You don't really _have_ to fix my car. Right?"

"I don't know." Morgan looks genuinely confused. "Does it really matter that much? I like control over my life, yes. I like to place something on my desk and know exactly where it is. I like having my day planned, and detailed. I like order."

What's the real difference between order and control? I'm not sure, maybe I just need more time to think on it. One thing seems clear to me. I feel like Morgan should know it, but doesn't. "You're not your father, Morgan."

He doesn't respond, so I assume he either hasn't heard me, or didn't take it well. After a few minutes, he nods, and replies. "I know that." I didn't mean for it to be a negative thing. I meant that he was his own person, he didn't need to follow in his father's footsteps. Morgan was a great man, his father was too. But they were great in different ways.

"Don't forget."

**A/N : Short chapter, sorry about that. Working on more London awesomeness for the next chapter, and some drama is on the way. I promise there will be another chapter posted tomorrow morning. Please read and review, thank you! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

Four more days like the first, and I'm in the swing of things. I know what Morgan's schedule looks like, I know how he operates, and I know how tired he is when he gets back.

I make adjustments for him. I don't ask questions anymore when he comes in the door. I just hold him, until he falls asleep. Then I let him sleep, and I go two doors down to talk to his brothers. They always seem to have some sort of secret meeting right after Morgan falls asleep. It's almost funny. The last few days have shown me more about Morgan's brothers than I could have learned in a year back home.

Dan's very forthcoming about the days events. I've learned he's the one that is in charge of (and loves) the paperwork. He has everything recorded, and he tells me about the good, and bad of the meetings that day. He's soft spoken, but never tires of explaining even the simplest idea with me. Teddy is quiet, but formidable. He makes all the final decisions, the one that everything falls on. I understand the stress that he carries with him, but hope it doesn't end up breaking him. Carrey is a part of the process, but has no legal weight. Morgan's youngest brother has just turned seventeen, and is only here to observe and learn from the negotiations. He asks questions that I never considered. Carrey is fond of loopholes, and alternatives. He's sharp, intelligent. He rivals his brothers, and I can see him becoming a force of good in the company.

What's even more interesting, is the interaction between all four.

It's odd, the way they talk to each other, and rough house. Aleah and I never settled anything that way, but we were girls. Sisters. I guess brothers do things differently. Clearly, they all care about one another, but sometimes I worry I might need to call Tine in to separate them, or put an end to their arguments. I've seen shouting matches, carefully worded fights, and I've watched them all fall asleep in Dan's living area. They all seem to live by the same set of rules. Fight hard, play harder.

I've come to know the three brothers, and count them almost as family. They all talk about their sister, Phoebe, with reverence. Second only to Teddy, she got married last year. She's a self made realtor, refused all help from their parents, and went to live on her own in New York. Morgan has promised to introduce us when she comes to visit. Like all the other Grey's, Phoebe is no exception, she's wildly successful in her chosen field. Dan has called her several times for her opinion on the matters at hand. They hang on her every word, and respect her. It's wonderful.

Carrey claimed that my 'kiss of luck' is the only thing keeping them together. Keeping them from killing each other in the meetings. So, every morning, before they all leave together, I make my rounds. Kissing everyone's cheek, and wishing them the best. It's the least I can do.

I've been to a few museums while Morgan is away. The parks here are gorgeous, and I ended up taking a picnic lunch the second day here. I always try to make it back to the room before Morgan is due to be there. Tine has been waiting for me at the end of the hallway every day since we landed. He's a cross between my guide, and my guard. I've gathered that he knows all of the Grey's, and they're his employers. Any more than that, he's been mute on, although he has shown me plenty of wonderful places in London. I enjoy his company.

Writing has become easy for me here. It's simple to take a few hours after breakfast and get my laptop to write a chapter. No pressure, no deadline. Just me, writing. It's liberating, freeing.

Day five ends, and Morgan is getting fed up. He's ready to be done with this deal. I can't blame him. They're only arguing over one petty little thing with this company. Something as simple as rewording something in the contract. Dan told me all about it. It's the only thing left to negotiate, and they won't budge.

So, Morgan is pacing the floor, hands in his pockets. Mumbling to himself. I watch from the couch, where I've tried to get him to sit.

"If I could only get them to agree to one of the last two options. We could be out of here."

"I know." My opinion has been put out there a few times already, it never does any good. He can't hear me when he's like this. Morgan gets wrapped up in his own mind, his own ideas. I get like that when I'm writing. Stuck on something.

Carrey comes in, and flops on the couch next to me. He turns on the TV. "You guys gotta see this." He flicks through until he comes to a news channel. They're reporting about Morgan's ex. I don't think Morgan even breaks his insane pacing to listen. He's too involved in the problem at hand, but I listen in. Carrey and I watch intently as the reporter informs us that 'Keroline Pace is ruining this deal for the Grey's'.

Carrey laughs. Loud, and long. Clutching his sides, he laughs, and laughs.

"Why is it so funny?" I have the remote now, I'm turning it down so I can hear what Morgan is rambling about behind us.

"It's funny because it's so untrue." Carrey says, pulling himself together. "She isn't even in London."

Morgan says something, but I don't catch it. Carrey does though, he makes a face and turns to look at his brother. His tone is more serious now, forceful even. "She isn't, is she Morrie? Tell me she isn't ruining this for you."

Then, he's turning, and walking into the study. I hear him close the door, and then something breaks.

"Shit." Carrey gets up, and looks at the study door, wincing as more things break. "I hit a nerve."

"I'll say." I finish my tea, and then stand up. "He's probably breaking all of my new paperweights I bought."

"Really?" He gives me a sideways glance. "People actually buy those things?"

"I placed them strategically. I bought some cheap ones, just for him to break. Hopefully he won't find the real things. If he does..." Something else crashes in the study, we share a look with each other.

"I'll replace them." Carrey says like it means nothing. The way that only the Grey's can say things about money. Like it's already done, and finished.

"Go on, we'll meet you for dinner. He just needs a few more minutes, Carrey."

"Teddy said we were meeting in the lobby, seven?" We. I was invited to the family dinner they have every night. Dan knows the best places, and he always orders the most amazing food.

"Great." I smile, and watch him leave. The smile fades when I walk to the study, and press my ear against the door.

Silence. Quiet. The calm after the storm. I knock softly, and hear his soft command.

"Come."

I open the door, and realize that Keroline Pace must be in London. She must be ruining _something_. Morgan is sitting on the floor in the center of the room, knees on elbows. Surveying the damage he's done. There's broken glass in a few places. Could be worse. I've seen Teddy break things in his study this past week. Not pretty.

"Okay, Hotshot." I sit in front of him, mirror his pose. "Spill it."

He meets my eyes. Most of the anger is gone now, broken on the floor, but some of it is still there. So, I need to be careful, but not overcautious. I've learned that Morgan has a fine line when he's upset, and it takes an expert to walk it.

Morgan motions with his hands while he's talking. He's matter of fact. No emotion. "She's here, but she's not ruining the deal. It's my problem, I have to fix it."

"Have you seen her?" I ask, because I don't know, and I'm curious. I still feel relieved when he shakes his head.

"No."

"But she's tried, right? That's why you're in here breaking stuff." At that moment, I hear his phone buzz on the desk. Oh. Okay. That's how she wants to play it. I start to get up, but Morgan pulls on my arm.

"Don't. It won't fix anything." Funny, I wasn't planning on 'fixing' anything between them. More like tell her to keep her hands off. To keep herself busy somewhere else. To stay away from Morgan..my Morgan. Okay, maybe he's technically not _mine_ yet, but really. She made her choice, and I intend to remind her.

But his hold on my arm stops me. I don't want him to be unhappy anymore. "Fine. But for the record, I want you all to myself. I'm not planning on sharing."

"Is that so?" Morgan grins at me, obviously happy about where the conversation has moved.

"Yes." I help haul Morgan to his feet, and then we're standing in the study, both looking at his phone while it keeps ringing. "Persistent, isn't she?"

He sighs, and rubs his temples. "You have no idea."

"Come on, Teddy will be waiting for us. Carrey said seven. In the lobby." I check the clock. "That gives you half an hour to get ready."

"I think I'll stay here. Go over the contract again."

"I'll stay with you then. We can order in, and..."

"No, no. You should go with them. Carrey will be disappointed."

"Hit me at my weak spot. That's a low blow, Morrie." That earns me a laugh at least. Apparently, Carrey couldn't say 'Morgan' when he was little. He's always called Morgan, 'Morrie'. Adorable, right? I mean, how cute is that? Morgan loathes the word, and only puts up with it because Carrey won't give it up.

"Go. Have fun, Lex. You've been caught up with the business almost as much as I am. Enjoy yourself."

Okay, maybe he's right. But I don't want to have fun while he's working in his study. That isn't fair. I want Hotshot by my side, laughing at one of Dan's jokes right along with me.

"It won't be the same without you."

"You'll be fine. Go, get dressed up. And tell my brothers to keep their hands off." Morgan is already pushing me to the bedroom, to the closet, to get ready. "Come on. At least show me what you're wearing before you go." That playful grin is back, the one that warns I might not make it to dinner. Depends on which dress I pick.

"Oh, alright." I give in, again. I just can't say no to Morgan. The Grey men are amazing at getting what they want, and I know why. If the board they were dealing with happened to have more than one woman, we would have been back home by now. Like, four days ago.

I walk to the closet, and pick out a black dress. I haven't worn it here yet, I just bought it yesterday. I take it to the bathroom, and shut the door. Morgan makes a noise, he's protesting the shut door. "No peeking." I say sweetly. It comes to my mid thigh, not crazy revealing, and has lace sleeves. I was informed that it was all the rage...or whatever, when I bought it. I thought it looked nice. I hope Morgan thinks so too. I tie my hair back, and slip on black pumps. Good to go. I open the door.

"Maybe I will go to dinner." Morgan smiles.

"You should." I walk over, and put my arms around his neck. Maybe if he looks closer, he'll change his mind. I kiss him. Once. Twice. The third time, he cuts me off.

"Go, or I won't get anything accomplished."

"Okay." There's no reasoning with him, so I let go. "I'll see you later then."

"Laters baby."

It must be a Grey thing, they all say that before they leave each other.

* * *

Basically, the Grey boys know how to party. I've never had so much fun in my entire life. Never drank, danced, or enjoyed myself more.

We all assembled in the lobby, I gave Morgan's regrets. His excuses. Carrey waved them off, and offered me his arm. I took it, what the hell, right? Dan led the four of us to a very new restaurant for dinner. Afterward, Carrey led us to a club.

I hadn't been planning on drinking, or dancing. But Dan and Carrey pushed and pulled until I gave in. Teddy didn't dance, but he did drink. More than I thought was healthy. I watched Dan and Carrey both get pulled in to dances with different women. Beautiful girls, but girls nonetheless. I sat with Teddy not long after, and started to drink with him.

Here's the thing about Teddy. He's quiet, doesn't say much of anything, or give his opinion...until you get a few drinks in him. Then, apparently, it's a free for all.

"You seem nice." I look behind me, around the chairs. Nope, he must be talking to me. I'm the only one sitting with him.

"Thanks. You too." Okay, so I don't know Teddy all that well. I do know that his fiance was supposed to show up about two days ago. Morgan told me she cancelled. Maybe that's why he's drinking so much. Or it could just be the state of the deal on the table. Who knows with Teddy.

"No really. Morgan's other...whatever. She was terrible. Rude, and obnoxious. I couldn't stand her. You are nice. Nice." Oh, we're talking about Kerry. Just what I wanted tonight. At least he's told me I'm not rude or obnoxious, that's a plus, right? Okay, let's see how much he's had to drink.

"She keeps calling him. What do you make of that?"

Teddy snorts. "She wants his money, what else is new?"

The man has a point, but I can't help thinking she wants something else. I watch Carrey dance with another girl. She's pretty, but barely clothed. I consider breaking it up, and decide against it. When did I become his big sister?

"Other than that, Teddy. What does she want other than that?"

He looks at me seriously before he takes another drink, and answers. "Something she couldn't get. Something she waited a year for, and still didn't end up with. Something she knows you have."

Riddles? Now? What do I have that Keroline Pace would want? Not much. She's a very successful model. I looked her up on the internet not long after I heard she had been with Morgan. She's well known in fashion, not that I know anything about that. I just can't seem to come up with the answer. "I give up, what is it?"

Teddy gives me his best 'I got ya' smile. "Morgan's love, of course."

* * *

**Morgan.**

That sinking feeling I've had all week. The one that's been following me for a year. That I had hoped to be rid of. Has just knocked on my door. In light of recent events, I don't want to open the door. I would rather ignore her. However, she needs to understand that I'm not interested anymore, and there's only one way to make her see that. Everything has a reason. A start, and an end. This needs to be our end. We both need closure, and I'm planning on giving it to her.

"Kerry."

"Morgan, you've been avoiding me. Dodging my calls."

She's observant, I'll give her that. I plan on closing the door in her face, but she manages to slip by me into the living area. I'm about five seconds away from calling Tine to get her the fuck out of my apartment. "What the hell do you want. I don't have time for your bullshit right now." I really don't. This major deal is taking all of my time. I feel terrible that I didn't go to dinner with Lexy, but I have to figure this out. I know there's something I'm missing.

"I think we both know what I want."

"It's over, Kerry. You made your choice, you left me."

"I made a mistake. Just like the one you're making with little black dress, down the street." Kerry jerks her thumb behind her.

What did I ever see in her? I should have seen it before. Kerry has no idea what she's just said about Lexy. I've never felt more right about something in my life. The mistake is standing right in front of me. "My little black dress, she's twice the woman you are. Twice the woman you'll ever be. You were the fucking mistake, Kerry. Get. Out."

"Oh, so she's_ yours_, is she?" Kerry moves toward me, and starts to put her hands on my shoulders. I dial Tine, and try to move away from her. This fucking woman, she won't take a hint. If I touch her now, I'm so angry I might break her. Once I get started, I'm not sure I can stop.

A voice from the doorway then. Low, and angry. "Yes, she is. Get your fucking hands off of Morgan."

Lexy.

**A/N : As promised! Hope you enjoyed, please review, and let me know what you think! Thank you. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Morgan. **

I've never seen Lexy like this. Kerry turns, quick and graceful.

"I'm so glad you decided to join us. Now Morgan won't have to explain, I can."

Lexy crosses the room quickly, and puts herself between Kerry and me. Her back to my chest, her hands are all balled up into fists. My god, she's going to fight for me. Holy shit.

"Don't touch him. Can't you take a fucking hint? He said 'Get out'. Now I'm telling you. Get the fuck out of here."

Kerry doesn't hesitate, the pissing contest is on. She gets up in Lexy's face. "Please. Like he wants you? You're just the rebound girl. Morgan wants me. Morgan _loves_ me." Kerry flashes her engagement ring. Why is she still wearing that? She broke it off. "He'll come back to me once he's had his fill of_ you_."

"The hell he will. Why can't you just leave him alone like you did a week ago? It's obvious he doesn't care about you anymore." This isn't going to end well, I can see that now. I can't even get a word in around these two. Shit, what did I do? I try to pull Lexy back, but she fights me off and ends up even closer to Kerry. Driving her point home "You don't even know Morgan. All you want is his money."

"I know you, Alexis Millen. You're damaged goods." Kerry draws out the last two words. Fuck, she used Lexy's name. I see her tense, and immediately know she's bracing herself. If Lexy wasn't between us...Kerry might be on the floor. Where the hell is Tine?

"That's it." Lexy throws a punch before I can even reach for her, and Kerry really is on the floor. I consider stopping Lexy, and decide I'll probably get punched in the process. She draws back again, but then shakes out her fingers and winces, backing up. Her voice, low and deadly, takes no prisoners."Take a fucking hint, Morgan's done with you, and so am I. You're never getting back together."

Kerry holds her nose, and her eyes are wide from the floor. I feel like laughing. Those eyes used to get me every time, used to move me in ways I never thought possible. Now all that comes to mind is that I hope Lexy broke her nose. She is a model, after all. Lexy went for her career when she went for her face.

Tine takes that moment to storm into the room, and interrupt. "Miss, I believe it's time to leave. I'll escort you to the door." He might look older, but he's got some muscle behind him. I watch Tine take Kerry's arm, and haul her up, and out of the room. The look on her face is worth every penny I pay Tine. I make a mental note to give him a raise. The man deserves it.

Lexy is still standing in front of me, watching Tine take Kerry. She's breathing hard. I want to ask her, make sure I wasn't imagining what she just did. I want to make her understand that this never happens again, that she doesn't get to defend me. It's supposed to be the other way around. I'm not a defenseless child, I could have handled Kerry. But when she turns to me, I'm not the one talking. Lexy has her eyes closed, her hands by her sides. She's shaking a little, but her voice never let's on what just happened.

"I told you I wasn't sharing with that bitch." She says simply. Then she's holding her hand, and looking at it. Teddy and Dan are in the room, asking what's happening, why Kerry was here, why Lexy's right hand looks like she needs some sort of medical attention.

For once, I'm speechless. I've no words for what Lexy just did for me. No words for the way she threw herself in front of me. I should be the one defending her, not the other way around. That isn't how it works.

"Holy shit, did you see Kerry's face?" Carrey stumbles into the room, pointing at the door. "What the hell happened?"

"By the look of Lexy's hand..." Teddy trails off, glancing at me and frowning. "Morgan, you alright? You don't look so good."

"He hasn't been sleeping much, and he needs to rest." Lexy says, holding her injured hand against her chest. She doesn't even look back at me, I stare at her. How does she know? I've only been slipping out of bed once she's sound asleep so I can work. And I'm always back before she wakes up. She can't know that. "How bad was it Carrey? Really, give it to me straight."

Carrey goes into graphic detail about the blood on Kerry's face, and Lexy gives him a weak smile before sinking on the couch.

My voice finally comes back to me. "Lexy, you need someone to look at your hand."

"He speaks." She says from her vantage point on the couch. "Come here, Morgan." I frown. No one orders me around. I'm Morgan Grey. I waver for a moment, but follow her instruction until I'm standing in front of her. "On the floor." She says, and my frown deepens. I sit on the floor, and look up at her. Lexy is pale now, the adrenaline is gone. But her look is still hard, angry almost. All that anger is directed at me, and it's unnerving.

"T-tell me you didn't try to get rid of me tonight. Tell me that you didn't plan on seeing her here. Tell me that you didn't come to dinner because you really needed to work. Tell me I'm not just the rebound, Hotshot."

I open my mouth, and then close it. Deadly silence fills the room. My brothers haven't been this quiet in a very long time. I come up with a million things to say, but none of them seem right, and Lexy needs an answer. Now.

"Answer me, Morgan. Did I just defend you against your will? Was that all for nothing? Do you want to get back with Kerry?"

"How could you believe that?"

"We met right after you were left at the altar, what the hell am I supposed to believe?" Lexy shouts at me, and we're back to anger. "I come back, and she's in your hotel room. With her damn hands all over you!"

"What do you want me to say?" How do I fix this? Reassure her? I'm at a loss. This is literally, my first rodeo, and I'm fucking it up. I've never cared about anyone the way I care about Lexy, and it's making me stupid. My loss for words is frustrating, annoying, debilitating. If this is love, I don't know how people survive, or even function.

"Nothing. I don't want anything from you Morgan. I'm not Kerry, damn it." Then the tears spill over, and she's turning away. Walking towards the bedroom door. Her parting words to me are. "Damn _you_."

* * *

**Lexy.**

Idiot. That's what I am. An idiot.

A complete fucking moron.

Defending Morgan to _her_. To _that_.

And then the man can't even tell me he cares. Can't even assure me that it was Kerry coming on to him, and not the other way around.

I heard, "Get. Out." That was enough for me. At first.

But now I'm starting to wonder, what if he had called her here? What if what Kerry said was true? What if he was just using me until he was ready to go back to her?

The sight of the engagement ring makes me sick. It keeps showing up from the back of my mind, like someone pushes it forward just so I can choke on it all over again.

So, I'm in the bathroom. Sitting on the tile, next to the toilet, trying not to be physically sick. Examining my hand with soft touches. I don't think anything is broken, and I'm grateful. I wasn't really planning on hitting her. Not until she brought some truth into the room.

I can deal with lies, I can point them out, and dismiss them. It's the truth that hurts the most.

And the truth is, she's right. I am damaged goods.

Keroline fucking Pace. How I hate that woman. How I hate myself right now.

I want to be home. I want to curl into a ball, and...

"Lexy? Can I come in?" What? Why is Teddy the one knocking on my door? He's the leader, makes sense I guess. He was probably elected by the four of them, knowing the Grey's. Either that, or he's still slightly tipsy.

"No." I say firmly. I need to be alone. To figure out my next move. I can't do that with the Grey men in the room.

"Then come out." Teddy replies. "You can come to my room for the night, I'll stay with Dan."

That's tempting, but I don't want to face Morgan anymore. I just finished crying, and I would rather not start again. What the hell, right? "Come in, Teddy."

The door opens slowly, and he closes it behind him. He sits on the floor next to me, and looks me over. "You okay?"

This brings on a fresh wave of tears. What is it about these men? I can't seem to keep a hold on my emotions around them. Teddy slings an arm around my shoulders, and I cry into his jacket. "Your brother..."

"I know." Teddy laughs once. "He's never done this, you know."

Neither have I, I think to myself. The sound of my crying apparently brings Dan and Carrey into the bathroom too. And the four of us are all sitting on the bathroom floor while I sob into Teddy.

I eventually calm down, and come back to myself. It's ridiculous to cry like this, in front of everyone. I try to smile at the three of them, but then Morgan is standing in the doorway.

"I told you to stay out..." Teddy starts in a tired voice.

"I don't care." It's the first time I've seen Morgan really upset. Really shaken. Dan and Carrey clear a path for him to me, but Teddy won't take his arm from my shoulders.

"Don't fuck with her, Morgan. God help me. I care about this one. She's not like the last trash you brought home. She's more than you deserve. You ruin her, I'll ruin you, understand?"

Whoa. I look at Teddy. Is he still drunk, or does he really like me? I can't decide, but I'm thankful when he turns to me. I fling my arms around his neck, and try to hold my composure.

"You don't have to stay here tonight if you don't want to. Remember that, alright?"

"Thank you, Teddy. I think I can take it from here." I pull back and kiss his cheek. This earns me a little smile, and then he's pulling away. Glaring at Morgan, he steps out of the bathroom. Dan gives me a little wave, and Carrey pats my hand before he goes. Each one of them gives Morgan a look before leaving. They're protecting me. Morgan's brothers have taken sides. My side. I'm not sure whether to be grateful, or worried.

Then, Morgan's kneeling in front of me, and pulling me into his arms. "I'm sorry, Lexy. I'm sorry."

That's all it takes. That's all I really wanted. I hug him around his waist, and press my face against his chest. "I know."

"I don't want her. I didn't call her. I would never do that to you. I never want to hurt you, Lexy." I nod, and hold him tighter. I might break down again if I try to speak, so I decide to just let him talk. "I was shocked. How could you ever believe that you were the rebound? Don't you know that you're more to me than that? You're saving me, Lexy Millen."

I needed to hear him say it. I needed to know I wasn't just imagining the way I felt about him. I needed to know it wasn't one sided.

I pulled back, to look at him. Morgan didn't even try to smile at me, just watched me pull away. "I couldn't stand to see her touch you. It broke something inside of me."

"You didn't have to save me, Lexy."

"Someone needs to." I said it seriously, but Morgan smiled. I had wished for someone to save me years ago. I was still waiting for an answer on that one. No one had ever come to my rescue, but I could help Morgan. Maybe.

"You weren't going to hit her." Morgan tilted his head, and touched my cheek. "Not until.."

"Don't say it." I winced at the thought of those words. The true ones. The only truth Kerry had given.

"It's not true." Morgan insists, as if he could read my mind. It's eerie.

"Yes, it is." I hold my hand up as he starts to argue.

"I know you said you didn't want to talk about it.." Morgan runs a hand through his hair, and looks at me. He's hopeful. Weird. No one ever wants to know about my past. They're never that interested. It's enough once I get that first line out there. That's normally enough for people to back down. Back off. Scare them away. Clearly, Morgan isn't giving this up. We might have to fix that.

"I still don't."

"I suggest a trade." Oh, negotiation. You have to be kidding me. I roll my eyes at him.

"Trade of information. Question for question?"

"Fair enough." Morgan glances around. "But not in here."

"Agreed, Mr. Grey."

Morgan makes a face. Disgust. I accept his hand to get up, and wait for an explanation. What did I say to make him unhappy? "Mr. Grey is my father."

"Oh." Ohhkay? I give him a questioning look and he sighs.

"My parents pet names for each other. It just doesn't seem right to hear someone call me that. To hear you call me that."

We're getting somewhere. "That's sweet." I let Morgan lead me to the bedroom, and consider Teddy's offer again. I decide I can stay here, for now. We'll see what happens. "You should be working." I point out, then regret it. I don't really want him to work.

"Yes, I should." He arranges the pillows to prop himself up, and pats the spot next to him. "But I'm not."

Hmm. This is a trap. I'm going to get in bed with Morgan, and have to answer his questions. This is a terrible idea. "This is going to change things between us."

Morgan considers me, and nods. "Maybe. It's a chance I'm willing to take. It's worth it, don't you think?"

I love what we have. I love how easy it is. How free. The past few days in London, (minus Kerry) have been pure bliss. Do I want to take that chance? Morgan's gambling that we can get through this part, and come through on the other side. That we can both finally come clean about our pasts. I'm nervous. I'm afraid. And not much scares me anymore. Losing Morgan scares me.

"What if it does? What happens then?"

"You mean, what happens if we can't accept each other?" I nod, Morgan looks past me, to the window now. "I have no idea."

"Oh." Great.

"You're stalling, again. Do you always stall when it comes to this subject?" Morgan gives me a playful grin, and tosses one of the pillows at me. I catch it, and hug it to my chest. Yes. I'm stalling. That adorable grin on his face is going to fade if I tell him. And I don't want to see it go.

"Alright, fine. You can have the first question." I sit on the edge of his side of the bed. I bury my face in the pillow, and then look back at Morgan.

"Why did you punch Kerry?"

"Because she..." I start and then change my mind, shaking my head. "Kerry hadn't said anything true up until then. Those words hurt, I wanted to hurt her. Simple as that."

**A/N : Loved the reviews on the last chapter. You guys are so ...violent, I love it! I hope that was enough of a cat fight for you. Did Kerry get what she deserved? Let me know what you think. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N : Okay, guys. This is it! The chapter that all the dirty little secrets come out in...well almost. Can't give them all away in one shot. I found this one _very_ hard to write. I almost gave up a few times. Please read and review. I really appreciate all the comments, even the negative ones! That's the whole reason I'm writing and posting. Otherwise, I would just write it and let it rot in my email. You guys wouldn't believe the stories that went to die there...**

**Anyyy way...enjoy. :)**

Okay. My turn. Easy start? "What was your drug of choice?"

Morgan gives me a look. The 'I knew you were going to ask that' look. Then he sighs, and stares at the window. "Heroin."

I had assumed that's what it was. Had counted on it, actually. But I never dreamed how haunted he would appear when he said it. How terrible the word would actually sound. A hundred other questions come to mind, but I wait for Morgan to ask his first. Trading. Some sick sort of history swap. Whose idea was this, anyway?

"What happened to your real father?"

I relax a little. That's an easy one. I had expected something much worse. "He's dead, Morgan. Car accident when I was little. I don't even remember much of him. I only have a few pictures, and memories left."

"I'm sorry, Lex."

"No, it's okay." I shrug. "Happened a long time ago." There's an awkward silence for a few minutes while we both watch the city lights. Before I ask my next question. I notice we're both skirting around the heavy stuff. The things we really want answers to. "When did you start?"

"At a party. A friends girl brought it, and I walked into the room by accident. I had been looking for the bathroom, and ended up shooting up with them. I was seventeen. Too bad I didn't have some sort of rock star/rich boy story, right? If I just walked down two more doors we wouldn't be having this conversation." Morgan focuses his blue eyes on me again. "After that, all I wanted was my next high. That's all that I could think about. My next fix."

"That's crazy." Maybe not. Maybe some people end up lost in addiction like Morgan was. But I just can't seem to fit CEO Morgan, order and control, with addiction Morgan, dependency and chaos. They don't line up, or fit together. The puzzle pieces just don't match up.

"Yes." Morgan leans forward, and holds out his hand. "Come here, would you? I can't take it. Talking about this with you over there."

I take his hand, and crawl up to where he's laying. We end up watching each other on our sides, my hand on his chest.

"How did it happen?"

I meet his eyes and smile sadly. He's trying to cover it up so nicely. Unfortunately, there's no nice way to ask. "You can say it, Morgan. The word doesn't bother me anymore."

"It bothers me."

I'm not sure what to say to that. "This is a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Only if you want to tell me."

I close my eyes, and go back. "Our father died when we were small. Mom, Aleah, and I, we got along okay. Mom dealt with being a single parent the only way she knew how. By going to work as often as could, and trying to take care of all three of us. Aleah and I did a lot on our own, but Mom tried her best to give us everything. It was hard at first, until she got a better job. Anyway, I was about eight or nine when she met Gary. He seemed nice enough at the time. "

That was a better time. When they were just dating. We were all happy. I remember moving closer to where Gary lived. How happy Mom was to be in a better neighborhood.

"Everything was great after they got married. I mean, Gary was always involved with Aleah and I. He came to school functions, and seemed like the perfect stepfather. Gary had a great job, moved us into a huge house. It was all so perfect. He even seemed like he loved my Mom." Looking back now, it seemed too good to be true. We should have all seen it coming. Hind sights twenty twenty, right? "I turned sixteen, and Aleah was turning nineteen that year. She moved away to college that fall. And one day, Gary came home from work and asked me to meet him in his room. Mom was still at work, she worked late nights back then. When I walked in, he slammed the door and tied my hands behind my back. Told me I was old enough now. Sixteen was apparently some magical age to him."

"He raped me. That's the only way to explain it. It was horrible, and terrifying, and I wanted nothing more than for it to be over. But even then, it wasn't. Not really. It followed me around. Kept haunting me. He had informed me afterward, that if I told my mother, no one would believe me. It would be my word against his. No one would believe me, not even my own family. So, I kept it to myself at first. A few weeks passed, and I thought maybe it would just be the once. That maybe I could prevent it. I kept the door locked in my room. I tried to stay out later at nights when my Mom worked late. I attempted to stay as far away as possible. And it worked. Two months after that, he caught me alone again. This time, I was ready. I had bought a pocket knife from a kid at school. Took it with me wherever I went. When he grabbed my arm and pushed me towards the room, I knew what was going to happen. I could either sink, or swim, but it was up to me. I couldn't let it. I couldn't let him. I flicked open the knife. I'll never forget the sound it made." I cover my face with my hands. This was the worst. Reliving it. "I didn't even know where I hit him the first time. But he was still coming for me, so I brought it down again. Until he wasn't following me anymore. I ran downstairs, and called the police. I sat outside of the house with the door locked behind me, holding the knife until they came down the street."

I can still remember the blood on the knife, my shirt, and my hands. It haunts me the most out of everything.

That's it. That's the story. I keep my hands on my face. Trying to relax. To breathe normally, and get the thoughts of him out of my mind. The sooner I push it away, the better. I can't even think about what's running through Morgan's mind.

Then I feel him shift on the bed, and his hands are uncovering my face. He looks concerned, and upset. Morgan hovers over me, almost until our faces are touching.

"Alexis."

I cringe at the name. My name, I think to myself. Morgan brushes a piece of hair away from my face before he speaks again. "I love your name. I wish it was easier for you to hear it. Thank you for letting me inside. Now tell me what I can do to make you forget. Tell me how to help you."

"Don't leave, Morgan."

He hesitates a moment before gently kissing me. I bury my hands in his hair, and kiss him back.

Morgan hasn't left me. Hasn't rejected me like the only other man I told. The one who I thought might understand. He turned and left me the same day. And yet, Morgan has accepted me for who I am.

"Your turn." He says with a weak smile, pulling back.

I sigh again. "You don't want to pass after all that?" I'm ready to be done with all of this nonsense. I'm ready to just talk about normal things again. Like the weather, or paperwork. Or Teddy telling Morgan to back off. Any of that would be fine.

"Grey's never pass." Morgan says seriously.

It almost makes me laugh. "Okay, okay. What did you mean? When you said you 'fucked up', how exactly did it happen?"

This seems to bother Morgan the most, and I didn't mean it that way. I watch him stand up, and move closer to the window. Pulling at his hair for a few minutes, he curses under his breath and looks at me.

"I...God, Lexy, you're not going to like this."

This is bad. This is something I'm not sure I can handle. Maybe this is going to be a disaster. "Where's the body?"

"No." Morgan laughs once. "Wouldn't that be so much easier?" Then he's back at the window again, and I'm more confused than ever. It was just a joke? I sit up in bed, and fidget with one of the sheets. Giving him a few minutes before I urge him again.

"Just come out with it, Morgan. The suspense is killing me."

"I'm a father." He blurts out, turning again. "I...I have this beautiful little girl. Wonderful, intelligent. Stubborn as hell. And I love her, Lexy."

The room spins for a minute. Did he just say? No, I didn't hear him correctly. My mind must be fuzzy from the alcohol. How could Morgan be hiding a little girl? How is that..? I frown and look at the bed. Morgan was serious. He has a daughter. What the hell does that mean?

I must be in some sort of shock, because my brain decides to ask questions I hadn't considered. "H-how? When? Where is she?" I look around the hotel room suddenly. She hasn't been here, I would have known. Or would I?

Morgan starts to answer, but I interrupt him. Something glaring comes back to me. "Escala. The room you wouldn't show me. That's.."

"Oakley's room." Morgan looks down at his hands, and smiles shyly. I've never seen that from him before. It's...that feeling. The one I keep getting. The mother/sister thing. Morgan has his own sets of feelings like that, only there's a perfectly wonderful reason and her name happens to be Oakley. "Yes."

"But she wasn't there."

"No, Oakley has a room at my parents. She sleeps there sometimes when I'm away." Morgan shakes his head. "That's all you're worried about?"

I have no idea what I'm worried about. I'm still trying to picture Morgan with a child. With a little girl with copper hair, and bright blue eyes that enjoys being stubborn as hell. I imagine them arguing over bedtimes and snacks. I wonder who wins. Something hits me, hard. Like a freight train.

"Do you want more children?" I whisper. This is the important part. This is the one little fact that could break us. If Morgan's wants more children...I can't give them to him. I know it's early to be talking about things like that, but it seems as if it might be important. I don't want out lives to be on two different tracks. I don't want Morgan to expect something that I can't give to him.

"I love Oakley, and one is plenty for right now. But..." Morgan trails off, smiling again. "Maybe someday. I'd love to see her with a little brother. I can't imagine my own life without siblings."

I cut off his fantasy family immediately. It sounds wonderful, and maybe it would be. But I can't. "Morgan, I can't have any children."

He becomes serious again quickly, frowning. "Why?"

I look away again. "Because, I just can't Morgan. Can we not focus on it right now? I'm still trying to figure out what to think about you being a father."

To my surprise, he drops it immediately. "Alright."

We watch each other for a few minutes before I break the silence. "How old is she?"

"She's four." The shy smile is back. God, they must be so close. He lights up every time I bring her up. It's like someone flicks a switch in Morgan's emotions. Oakley must have him wrapped around her finger. Morgan Cemper Grey, at the command of a four year old. I can only imagine.

"Do...do you have a picture?"

Morgan hesitates, and bites his bottom lip for a minute. Then he's moving to the dresser in the bedroom. Picking up his wallet, and thumbing through. He places it back after removing something, and comes to sit next to me. Morgan turns the light on, and hands me the first picture.

Morgan is sitting on the grass somewhere, wearing jeans and an old t-shirt. A girl no more than four has her arms around his neck. They're smiling at each other, paying no attention to whoever decided to snap the picture. She's exactly how I imagined, sort of. Blue eyes, short blonde hair, and Morgan's smile.

I can't get over how wonderful they look together. How naturally happy. They belong together, I realize. It might be the most beautiful picture I've ever seen. No wonder Morgan carries it with him. Oh, but wait, there's more!

Morgan hands me another one. This one is a smaller Oakley in some sort of art room. She's wearing a huge smock that's splattered with paint, and her face is covered in it. The smile on her face says it all. She's thrilled, whatever she's doing. "She's two in that one, but it's my favorite." Morgan informs me.

"She paints?" I remember the paintings at Escala.

"It's a hobby of mine. Oakley is a quick learner, and she loves the colors."

Morgan makes it sound like that's the entire story, but I bet there's more to it. I bet he spends hours with Oakley painting. That's why he has this particular picture. He's proud of her enjoying something he enjoys.

"Wow. You have a daughter."

"Yeah."

"You're a_ Dad._"

"Yes." Morgan laughs.

I touch the picture gently. This is what I never had. What I always wanted. A memory of my father, a real one. "You're both so lucky. To have each other."

"Believe me, I know."

Thinking of my own missing parent, I ask. "Where is her mother, Morgan?"

His eyes cloud over, and he takes the pictures from me. "She overdosed. Three years ago."

Oh, shit. I don't ask anymore, it's obvious Morgan cared deeply for Oakley's mother. We've been through enough tonight, haven't we? Pushing Morgan over some sort of emotional cliff isn't going to solve anything. I can wait a little longer for the details.

"I was thinking..." Morgan starts, turning back to me. "After we get back, when everything is sorted out here. Would you like to meet her?"

"Yes." I jump at the chance. At the opportunity to meet Morgan's daughter.

Morgan's face lights up at my answer. "Really? You...you want to? You're sure?"

I nod, trying to make him understand. I'm not Kerry. I'm Lexy. I might not be able to have children, but that doesn't mean I don't want to know his little girl. "I'm sure. It would be an honor if you introduced me to Oakley."

* * *

**Morgan. **

I watch Lexy sleep. Her body curled into mine. She sighs in her sleep, and cuddles closer. I tighten my grip on her shoulders. There will be no sleep for me tonight. Not after that.

I don't think I can ever let her out of my sight again. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to let her go. The look on her face, the way she was ready to break down and cry but held it together. She's so strong. Incredibly so.

It broke my heart. It made me fucking angry.

No one should have to deal with that. No one should have to go through what she did. It's not human, it's insane. I want to find her stepfather and rip him apart. Piece by piece until he understands what she's been through.

Lexy struggles to get out from under my grip, and I release her. I didn't notice how tightly I was holding her. She buries her face in my side, and continues to snore lightly.

She agreed to meet Oakley. It's more than I could have hoped for. Especially after what I said about Lauren.

I try to shake off those thoughts.

Now, if I can just get this deal finished we can all go home...


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N : Hey guys! Sorry you didn't get an update yesterday. Internet went down... :( **

**I was very sad. However, the reviews I found this morning, well they were amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please continue to review, it always makes my day. **

**So, on a semi-unrelated note, another idea came to me between yesterday and today. ****What do you think about a story about Carrey? Yes, no? Let me know, and I'll try to get this one wrapped up soon. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Lexy. **

I wake up to sunlight streaming through the window, and my hand aching. I reach out to Morgan's side of the bed. Alone.

I look around the bedroom, and can't find Morgan. Then the night before comes back to me. All of it.

Maybe it was too much, maybe he decided to leave during the night...no. There's no way. Morgan wouldn't leave me, not like this.

Something crunches under my hand as I try to get up. Paper?

Morgan left me a note?

_Lexy, _

_Went to work early. Couldn't stand to wake you. _

_Back soon._

_M._

Short and sweet. I looked from the note to the clock. It was already eleven. I slept in, no wonder Morgan left. The night before had been long, and exhausting. I rubbed my eyes to wake up, and set the note on the nightstand. Shower? Sounded like a plan to me.

I wandered through the room, looking over my clothes, and the suitcases. We should be leaving soon. Going home. I was ready to be home, not ready to leave Morgan. I picked out a light blue shirt, and jeans, setting them on the bed. I let my mind drift while I went through the motions, preparing for a shower. Grabbing some pain pills for my hand.

What was the next step between us? I adjusted the water temperature. When would he let me meet Oakley? The thought excited me, I was nervous. What if she didn't like me? What then? I closed the bathroom door behind me. Would Morgan be able to seal the deal today, finish the contract? I hoped so, for all four of them. I stepped under the warm water, and closed the curtain around me. It was clear that Christian didn't approve of me with his son, but what would Ana think? We had been friends, sort of. In a professional setting. What if she treated me like Christian had? What if my career was sent into a nose dive because of my relationship with Morgan? She had the power to do exactly that if she chose. I closed my eyes, and washed my hair. I had so many questions, so many...

The shower curtain was pulled back, and I gasped in surprise.

"What the...?" I opened my eyes, and tried to cover myself. Oh. "What the hell, Morgan?"

He gave me a huge smile, and stepped out of his shoes. Then stepped into the shower with me, fully clothed in his black suit. "You're all I can think about."

I pushed the wet hair out of my face, and gaped at him. What on earth was he talking about? "Shouldn't you be working?"

"It's done. Finished. Signed this morning." As if the smile could get any bigger. I should have known.

"You did it!" I felt pride surge through me. It was strange. I never felt that way. Morgan wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. The thrill evident in his features.

"And all I could think about was celebrating with you."

I looked at his suit, becoming soaked quickly in the shower. This was his idea of celebrating. I laughed. "You have a few too many clothes on for that sort of talk, Hotshot."

"We could fix that." Morgan shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it outside the shower.

I heard a knock on the door, Morgan ignored it, kissing my neck. I couldn't, though. If Morgan could get in the bathroom that easily... "Morgan.."

"I locked the door, he can't get in here. He'll get the hint." Oh, okay then. I lost myself for a few seconds in his kisses. Feather light on my skin. Then the knocking again.

"Hey, Morrie! Dan and I are headed down to the lobby.." Apparently, he couldn't take a hint.

"Little busy, Carrey." Morgan called to his little brother, rolling his eyes at me.

"Yea, I know. That's what Teddy said too. Only he wasn't in the shower."

"Out, Carrey." Morgan yelled.

"Alright, alright."

"Do you want to go out? We could go, if you want." Morgan gave me a look then, and pulled me closer. Close enough so I knew what he wanted, and it wasn't to hang out with Carrey.

"Have I made myself clear, Alexis?" He said close to my ear. Teasing me. I barely registered that he used my full name. The one I didn't normally like. Morgan made it sound different. Almost acceptable. I decided not to argue with him this time.

"Crystal."

* * *

"We're going home later."

"Oh?"

Morgan was lounging on the bed, studying his phone after our shower. I was busy getting dressed, figuring that Morgan would want to go out to catch up with his brothers.

"Dan and Carrey, you and I. Teddy is staying in London."

I waited for an explanation, and it didn't show up. "Teddy?"

"Amber is here." Morgan said it like it might explain everything, and frowned at his phone. His fiance probably, that made sense, I thought to myself. I pulled my shoes on, and looked back at the bed. He was sitting up, still looking unhappy.

"What is it?"

He glanced at me, like I might have just showed up in the room, and then back at his phone. I vaguely registered that he was dialing someone, before he put the phone to his ear. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Doesn't sound like it." I mumbled. We had such a nice time about ten minutes ago. Why couldn't everything be that amazing? I moved around the room, setting out our suitcases. If we were leaving, someone had to pack. I listened to Morgan's low, one sided conversation in the background.

"You shouldn't have called." Pause. "That's none of your concern." Longer pause. More anger."I'm not speaking with you." Pause. And now, the kicker. "Contact my lawyer."

I packed half of my portion of the dresser into my suitcase, and the shoes I weren't wearing before I heard him throw the phone.

"Morgan." I yelled as he walked out of the room. His face was a mask, the one he wore when there was no getting in. I followed him to the study, where he proceeded to take out a file with papers. "What's happening." I asked calmly. Anger wouldn't get me very far, it was much better to be in control of my emotions. Especially, if this was business. I hoped this wasn't his deal going sour.

"She just won't give it up." Morgan muttered to the folder, and ran a hand through his hair. That anger I just considered? Yea, it was looking really good right about now.

"Hotshot, was that Kerry?" His eyes met mine for a brief second, and then went back to the paper. Suspicion confirmed. I threw my hands in the air. Apparently, punching her wasn't nearly enough. "When is she going to take a hint?"

"Right now." Morgan growled. "I'm taking care of this shit right here, right now."

I wanted to ask how, but knew better. Morgan was connected in ways I would probably never understand. If he said he was finishing it, odds were, he was. "I'm going to finish packing. Want me to start packing your stuff too?"

Morgan came around the desk, and kissed me gently. Remembering himself, and where we were. "Yes. Please." I trailed my hand down his arm before I left to pack. To go home.

* * *

The flight home was quiet. Carrey had his headphones in, snoring in the front seat. Dan was reading some sort of journal, I couldn't make the name out from across the aisle. Well, he had been reading. I was pretty sure he was close to sleep also, slumped over the table on his arms. Morgan was laying across two seats, his head in my lap. Reading some emails, and working on something.

I was re-reading the chapters I had written in London. Laptop balanced between the seats and my knees. Trying to pick out potential problems. Examining the whole thing to make sure I wasn't losing my touch. The whole thing was okay, but not exceptional. I was missing something, but I couldn't pick it out.

So, I didn't notice when Morgan's phone (not broken from the earlier throw, thankfully) slipped from his hand to the floor. Or, when he closed his eyes. The only change registered when Morgan started mumbling in his sleep. Moving closer to me.

"Lauren." Okay. Who the hell was Lauren? "'S my fault."

I almost dropped the laptop, Morgan moved his arm. "Oakley." His beautiful features changed. Hardened. "No."

"Morgan." I didn't want to eavesdrop on his dream anymore. At first, I had been interested in who Lauren was, but it was obvious this dream was going to take a turn for the worst. And soon.

"No." Morgan said more forcefully.

"Wake up, Morgan."

Then his eyes are open, looking at me. "Lauren?" He's hopeful, waiting.

I have to kill his dream. Whoever this Lauren is, I'm not her. And it hurts even worse that Morgan wants her instead of me. "No, it's Lexy."

"Where is she? Where am I?" Morgan tries to get up, but I push him back down onto my lap. His blue eyes scan the plane, then fall back on me. No recognition, no understanding. That pain hurts just as much.

"It's okay, Morgan. We're on the plane, remember? I.." I have no clue who, or where, Lauren is. I'm at a loss. How do I explain something I don't know?

"She's gone, Morgan. You know that. She passed away, and it isn't your fault." Dan is standing next to his seat, looking down at him. "It was just a dream. A nightmare. Oakley's fine."

His words have a physical impact on Morgan. I watch as the tension in his body recedes. He tries to sit up, and I let him. Morgan's hands shake as he covers his face.

"He told you, didn't he?" Dan levels a serious look my way. There's no lying to him, and he already knows the answer.

But I still have to confirm his idea. "Just about Oakley. He didn't say anything about..."

"Lauren." Dan finishes. Morgan takes a shuddering breath, and then meets Dan's gaze. Dan is somewhat fired up over this. It's strange."Why not, Morgan? You told her half the story, why did you leave that little piece of information out?"

"Because I wasn't fucking ready, that's why." Oh. The Morgan I know is back, and he's pissed. I shrink back from him, into my own seat.

Dan moves back to his seat, and his paper. "Don't take that tone with me, Morgan. It's not my fault you had a nightmare on the god damn plane. Bad timing, that's all. You're lucky you didn't cream Lexy while you were getting worked up over there."

I wasn't sure what to make of all this. "Stop fighting, please." I say in a small voice. None of us can afford for them to get in a fight on the plane. And the peace keeper, the one who could shut them all up, isn't with us right now. God, how I miss Teddy. "Morgan, do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." He sighs.

Fantastic. Let's just keep it to ourselves, and in our nightmares. I wasn't that concerned about you anyway. "Fine. Then we won't." I pick up my laptop, and fold my arms over my chest. The tension in the plane is enough for me to feel strange. I longed to be sitting in a different row for some reason. Morgan must have picked up on it, because he moved to the other side of the aisle, behind where Dan was sitting.

I felt conflicted. I wanted him to stay, but he was so angry, upset, over what had happened. And he didn't want to talk about it. I wanted Morgan to talk to me, but he had already said he wouldn't. Had already made that quite clear. I agreed to not ask, so I didn't.

Dan makes a noise while he looks at the paper. "My ass you won't."

"Shut up, Dan." Morgan's voice was low, frustrated. "I'm not talking about her, and that's final."

"We got that. You're the only one bringing her up." I replied. Dan had only made a comment, it didn't warrant that type of response from his brother. I kept my eyes locked on the screen of my computer, trying to contain my emotions. Why was Morgan so upset over this? It was just a nightmare.

I heard Morgan mutter something in his new seat about being in small spaces, and then it was quiet again. I listened to Dan's pages flutter when he turned them, and Carrey's blaring music. I waited to hear Morgan fall asleep, but I didn't. I tried to go back to reading, but after that it was practically impossible. All I wanted was more answers, and I wasn't going to get them.

Clearly, Lauren was a delicate subject around the Grey's.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N : A second update tonight. And yes, it is somewhat shorter. Decided to leave it on a happy note. **

**This one is for CMGDA... :)**

A few hours later, we all exited the plane.

Silently. No one said a word to each other. You could have cut the tension between Dan and Morgan with a knife.

What the hell was going on?

Carrey threw me several glances as we walked down the steps, but I just shrugged. All I knew, clearly wasn't enough to explain what was happening. We followed Morgan, and Dan to a black SUV. I should have been used to it by now, but I really wasn't. It was still a little weird to have the driver open the door for me as I climbed in to take the seat next to Morgan.

"Alright." Morgan started, and then sighed. He ran a hand through his hair, and then turned to me. "It's eight in the morning. Do you want to go home?"

I sensed another option for me somewhere, but couldn't grasp it. "Or...?"

"Or, you could come with us, and meet Oakley." Morgan said with a weak smile. "I will completely understand if you would rather wait. We're all tired, and burnt out right now."

I wasn't tired, I had found sleep about an hour after Morgan's nightmare. My own dreams had been blissfully absent. "I'll come along, but you need to promise me something first."

"What is it?"

I bet he already knew. Morgan wasn't slow by any means. Dan and Carrey watched us warily. I knew they were both waiting to hear what I had to say. "Promise you'll tell me about Lauren after you've had some decent sleep."

Morgan paused for two beats, and then nodded. "Promise." We kissed once, quick, and Morgan said something to the driver, and patted him on the shoulder.

"Home, Taylor."

"Sir."

* * *

The Grey home was more than I ever expected it to be. There was a fountain in the front, a beautiful huge backyard, and the house itself was amazing. I had never seen a home it's equal, but, then, I had never seen the equal to the Grey family either.

It suited them. Unique, large, wonderful. Just like their own family.

Carrey almost jumped out of the car before it rolled to a stop. Dan had to yell at him to keep inside while we were still in motion. Seconds later, Carrey was racing up the stairs.

"Someone was homesick." Dan muttered as we got out of the SUV.

"Couldn't tell. Taylor, leave the suitcases, come in with us and see Gail."

"Sir."

It still confused me that older men called Morgan 'sir'. Something else I would have to get used to. The gray haired man followed Carrey and Dan into the large house, and waited in the doorway.

"You're sure about this?" Morgan asked after he slammed the car door shut, and took my hands in his. His earlier anger, and frustration was gone now, I noted. Something else had changed. Maybe it was the promise to talk later that had changed his mood. Or maybe it was just the fact that he was home.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. It wasn't everyday that you met your boyfriends daughter. "I think so."

"Okay. Let's go."

Morgan and I walk to the door together, holding hands. Taylor opens the door wider for us, and we step inside. I realize the house is even more beautiful inside. A set of stairs are directly in front of the double doors, and I hear a squeal from the top of them.

"Daddy!" Oakley runs as fast as her legs can carry her down the stairs to where Morgan is kneeling on the floor. She flings her arms around his neck, and buries her face in his shoulder.

"Hey, sweetie." I watched Morgan pull back, and examine her, smiling. "How was school?"

Oakley's smile faded. "Fine." Oh, how many times had I heard Morgan cover with that exact word? I pressed a hand to my mouth to cover the laugh that was forming. She was her father's daughter.

"Oakley Aaliyah Grey."

"I got a card change." She pouted. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Why?"

"Because Dorothy was whispering to me in class, and then I whispered back and the teacher said I shouldn't talk while she was talking."

"She's right, that's disrespectful." Morgan was still kneeling on Oakley's level. I watched the interaction from a few feet away. It was breathtaking, and heartbreaking. "Did you learn your lesson?"

"Yes, Daddy." Oakley brightened immediately. Her blue eyes sparkled as she grabbed at Morgan's jacket. "Nana's making pancakes, want some?"

"Not yet, I was hoping to introduce you to someone." Morgan stood and took Oakley's hand. She looked up at him. I watched him stand, and only then saw the three Grey men standing behind Morgan and Oakley. Staring at me. Christian had his arms crossed, his expression grim. This was some sort of test, and they were all watching to see if I would pass...or fail. I swallowed hard, and mustered as much courage as I could find. "Oakley, this is my friend, Lexy Millen. Lexy, this is my daughter, Oakley."

Oakley offered me her free hand, and gave me a smile. "Hi."

"Hi." I shook her hand, realizing that the three of us were attached by Oakley. I smiled at her. "It's nice to meet you, Oakley. I've heard you paint."

"Sometimes." She sighed, and looked up at Morgan. I was suddenly struck by how insanely mature she was for a four year old. So well spoken. I decided it was probably from living around an entire family devoted to business. "School first."

Morgan smiled, and squeezed her hand. "We paint all the time." Oakley made a face at him, and stuck out her tongue. Then Morgan started for her, and she giggled and ran up the stairs. Morgan looked, and acted his age, taking the stairs two at a time to run after her. I was so busy watching the two of them, I didn't notice Christian standing in front of me until after Morgan had caught Oakley.

"Lexy. Oh, I'm so glad Morgan brought you by." Ana's voice floated in from a hallway across the room. I waited until she appeared, rubbing her hands on a towel. She looked from me to Christian, then back again.

My turn to talk...that's right. "It's good to see you too, Ana."

Dan piped up from behind Christian. "Morgan only told her about Oakley. Not about Lauren." I watched him walk away after that, past Carrey's questioning look. Message delivered, I guess.

"How did he manage that?" Carrey asked, coming to stand on Christian's other side. The similarities between the two were astounding. If they weren't father and son, they could have been twins. I thought Teddy had looked the most like Christian, but I realized I was wrong. Carrey was his carbon copy. "They're sort of connected."

I shrugged. "He just told me that Oakley's mother passed away three years ago. That's all. Morgan didn't want to talk about it until later." I looked from Carrey, to Christian, to Ana. Ana was the only one showing any emotion, biting her lip, her brow was furrowed. I watched as Christian leaned closer to her, and touched her chin.

A low, smoldering voice warned her. "Anastasia, stop biting your lip. You know what it does to me." Ana blushed and swatted his hand away. I had never seen Ana act that way, but I had never seen her with Christian before. They were different with each other.

This family was a real family. With two parents that loved each other. That's what it was, love.

"Really, Dad? We have company." Carrey grumbled, looking anywhere but at his parents. Christian moved closer to Ana, and kissed her deeply. I thought Carrey might throw up. "Oh God. Please strike me down now."

I laughed at his excessive complaining. "Carrey..." Christian and Ana straightened up, and looked around. Morgan was standing at the bottom of the steps with Oakley. She tilted her head, and then put her hand over her mouth.

"Nana, the pancakes!"

"Oh...Sh-"

"Don't say it." Morgan cut her off, and we all ran for the kitchen. and the burning pancakes.

A day with the Grey's...I hoped I would survive.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N : Okay, time jump! Just a little one, but I thought it was needed. Don't worry, there will be some drama soon. I know some of you are waiting for that crazy moment where the amazing world comes crashing down...it's on it's way. **

**And yes, I have started the Carrey story. I had this idea yesterday, and it hit me. My brain was like "Carrey!"...yea. As soon as I decide exactly where it's going, you will be the first to know. I'm not giving up on this story, either. I know some of you were worried I would ditch Morgan and Lexy. Don't worry, I won't stop writing until it's all over! **

** Enjoy. :) **

* * *

Three months later, Morgan and I had moved along quickly. I had never been so happy.

We spent two months dating, taking trips together, getting to know one another. I learned a lot about Morgan in those two months. How he liked his coffee, and his steak. How much he hated hotels, and loved Oakley. When it was okay to take his phone away so he could concentrate on what I was saying, and when it was definitely not alright. Why he loved his job so much, and what it meant for him when he made a brilliant decision. I saw the look on Christian's face when Morgan delivered news of a successful business deal. The pride on Christian's face was worth all of Morgan's sleepless nights.

Morgan had a hard time, and a rough start, I knew that much. He still hadn't told me about Lauren, and it bothered me. I had brought it up a few times, and he had always made some sort of excuse. Easy excuses. I started to not ask him. Sam never came up either, and that was fine with me. I didn't want to bring him up, so I figured it would be best to just drop it. I asked Carrey, and Dan. Both had denied me, with reminders that I should ask Morgan again. I just couldn't stand the hurt and sadness that came over his face when I mentioned her name.

At the end of the second month, Morgan asked me to move in with him and Oakley. He was all romantic, and witty with his black velvet box and the spare key to Escala. I couldn't help but smile and say yes. It was a huge step for us. One that I couldn't imagine denying. The place I had called home for years, just didn't seem the same anymore. When I went home, it was like something was missing. It was too quiet, too lonely.

After I moved in, there was a whole other side of Morgan that I got to spend time with. The father in him was prevalent. He loved Oakley, and it never ceased to amaze me the lengths he would run for her. I found myself wondering about my own father more often than before. Wondering if we had times like that together. I learned their schedules, and made time for the three of us to hang out together. I grew closer with Oakley quickly. Turns out, she loved to dance too. Had been involved in ballet since she was two, I had been in tap since I turned four. Gave it up once I started college. We talked about dance all the time. Morgan didn't know much about it, but that didn't stop him from showing up to her practices, and her recital. Didn't stop him from standing and cheering with his brothers when she stepped on stage with her age group. Even when I informed them to sit and be quiet, they wouldn't listen. Sometimes, I learned, it was embarrassing to be around the Grey brothers. Oakley had already learned this fact, she probably figured all fathers and uncles behaved this way. The bouquets of flowers each uncle handed her afterward almost made me cry.

Life was good. Our life was great.

Morgan made a statement to the press after London. I didn't even know about it until I saw the news that night. The three of us were sitting in the living area, while Morgan flicked through the channels.

"Wait a minute." I grabbed the remote away from him, and changed it back. "Holy..."

"Don't say it." Morgan's low voice warned me. He hated when anyone cursed around Oakley. I was still getting used to this particular rule.

"What did you do?" I watched him speak on the platform. To the untrained eye, he looked cool and calm. To me, he looked nervous, anxious about something as he spoke. "What happened?"

"Nothing. I righted the wrongs." And that was it. No more talk of Kerry, no more questions from his parents. After that statement, the world was right again. Morgan had been accurate in London when he said he would end it. He did, in a big way.

I found the painting studio Morgan and Oakley used one night on a quiet walk. I took a lot of walks around Escala at night, when Morgan was deep in sleep, or working late on his computer. When I couldn't sleep, I would just wander, and look at everything. There was a billards room, and a library that I loved to sit in. I wrote there some nights, dragging my laptop with me to sit in the quiet place. It was peaceful there. Escala was peaceful.

It was one of those nights that I found myself wandering upstairs, at the door of the Red Room.

I wasn't even sure what had prompted me to climb the stairs, or why I felt compelled to touch the doorknob. I felt like I needed to know if it was empty. And what would happen if it wasn't? I didn't know. Surely, I wouldn't move out. Maybe it was some sick sort of self deprecation, or maybe I just wanted to try and see if I could handle it. Last time had been terrible, but I had been different then. Morgan and I had grown since then.

I placed my hand on the doorknob, and twisted. It was locked. Aha, my subconscious shouted, it's still locked because it's still not safe for Oakley. Because Morgan never...

"Lexy."

Shit. I spun around quickly, and found Morgan. Arms crossed, a smile playing on his face, he looked at me seriously. Or, as seriously as he could wearing only a pair of shorts. "You're always so nosy."

I twisted the knob again until it made the noise it had before. "It's still locked."

"Obviously." Morgan said slowly.

"Why?"

"Because it's still.."

"The Red Room of Pain." I finished. Morgan nodded. I looked back at the door. "I thought you were going to have it taken care of?"

A shadow crossed his face then, something weird happened. "I was." Morgan was speaking slowly again. Like he was trying not to get caught in a lie. Like he was thinking very hard about what to say next so as not to upset me.

"But..?"

"I didn't." He shrugged, a signal that said to drop it.

I couldn't. I took a deep breath, praying he wasn't trying to say what I imagined. "Morgan, do you want it to be taken care of?"

"I..." The smile was gone now, he was trying to come up with something. Morgan just sighed, and then showed me the key he was holding. "I can't seem to let it go. For some reason, I just don't want to get rid of it."

Morgan moved towards me, and then placed the key in my hand. "Maybe you should just decide what to do with it."

"I can't do that." I tried to give the key back. It wasn't my place to do something like that. But Morgan moved away from me before I could.

"I can't either. Go on, open it. That's why you're here."

He was right, that's why I came here, but I was hesitant now that I had the key. I followed his advice, and opened the door, against my better judgement. Against the history screaming at me to stop what I was doing. I opened it, and looked inside.

It wasn't as bad as the first time, as the initial shock had been. I knew what to expect when I stepped in that room. I didn't expect the look on Morgan's face, or the deep breath he took as he walked in. I had the feeling that Morgan had been in here a few times since we had found it together. I had the idea of Morgan looking at everything with a sort of wonder and longing. It made me shiver.

"What did your father have to say?" I asked, moving to the bed.

Morgan tilted his head to the side, and walked to a closet of sorts. "Dad gave me a phone number. The woman on the other end of that phone answered most of my questions."

"Questions?" I turned to look at him then. What sort of questions?

"Your stepfather tied you up." Morgan was holding a black silk scarf in his hand. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I still felt the need to answer.

"Yes. You know that Morgan." I looked away as I said it. He knew all of the details on that. I didn't want to talk about it, especially in here.

"Do you trust me?"

What sort of question is that? Did I trust him...I wouldn't have moved in with him if I didn't trust him. The scarf in his hands battled with me for a few minutes. I didn't like where this was going. "Yes."

"I trust you too." Morgan nodded, his head bobbing along with his words. He held up the scarf. "Tie me up, Alexis."

"What?" I breathed the word. I felt like someone had just knocked all the wind from me."That's...I mean.."

"Oh, come on. Like you haven't fantasized about how much fun it would be."

Maybe I had, but it never seemed like a reality. Only a daydream. Not something to be acted on, something to keep to myself. The way Morgan said it spoke volumes. How long had he been thinking about being tied up? "I don't know."

"I'll let you have control. All of it. Anything you want." Morgan's words coaxed me. Anything you want?

From where I was standing, control in this relationship was hard to come by. Morgan was a tyrant when it came to the schedule posted on the refrigerator. Serious about being on time for everything, planning ahead for every emergency situation, and taking no detours. His proposition was seriously tempting. I would kill for a little control. Tip the scales in my favor? Yes, please.

"I don't know anything about any of this." I gestured to the room.

"I'm not talking about tying me to the ceiling, Lex. Just to the bed." He smirked at me, and I came a little closer. Until I caught the scarf in my hands, and inspected it. How long had Morgan had this, envisioning something more? Maybe as long as I wondered if the Room was still up and running.

I glanced around, and then my eyes landed on the bed. Something didn't feel right about it. "Not this bed."

"Downstairs?" Morgan had me right where he wanted me. Yea, maybe he was pretending to relinquish the control, but I knew better.

"Okay." My small voice made Morgan smile. I followed him out of the room, and downstairs to our bedroom. Still holding the scarf, I watched Morgan lay on the bed. Still smiling. I wasn't smiling anymore, I thought I might lose it. "I'm nervous." I confessed.

"Really? I thought it would be exciting."

"I can tell how excited you are. God, could your eyes sparkle anymore? Sheesh." Morgan giggled. The breath caught in my throat. He was like a teenager or something. It was...really freaking weird.

"Come on, Lex. It's just a scarf. It's not handcuffs or anything." He was so casual about the whole thing.

"Handcuffs?" My voice ratcheted up another octave. I looked at the scarf in a whole new light. I knew how it felt to be helpless, at the mercy of someone else, was this really what Morgan wanted? If there was one thing I knew about him, it was that he loved his control. His order.

"Hey, hey. Relax, it's alright. Lex, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." His playful grin was gone, replaced by concern, etched on his face as he sat up to catch me in his arms. "It was just an idea. We don't have to, Lexy."

I pushed him away gently. "No, it's okay. I'm just not used to this sort of thing. I've never done anything like this...voluntarily. And I just want to make sure you really want this." We shared a glance, and Morgan laid back on the bed. I didn't want to mess up what we had with something stupid. I hoped we weren't making a huge mistake.

Another smile. Morgan's blue eyes asked me, and he put his hands out for me. "I'm all yours, baby." Oh, man. How could I say 'no' to _that_?


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N : It's that magical time of year again, when school starts back up. I won't be posting everyday, but I will try my best to keep the story going. **

**This is the drama chapter. It's going to get interesting. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! You guys are the best. Let me know what you think. :)**

* * *

**Morgan.**

I sit up in bed, it's very early morning now. Lexy is sound asleep on her side of the bed, curled into the pillows and blankets.

I need to be honest with her. I have to tell her about Lauren. Especially after last night.

What I can give her isn't enough. It won't ever be enough. She needs more. A man that isn't broken. A man that can love her back the way she wants. I'm not that man. How long until she hates me because I can't give her everything? Because I can't give her my whole heart? No. I can't do that to her.

I look away from her sleeping form and put my head in my hands. Four words crumbled my world.

_"I love you, Morgan."_

She had been half asleep, curled in my arms after she had untied me. I had known it would happen eventually. That she would say it, but I thought I had more time.

I'm torn inside. I care so much about her, about us, about this. Half of me wants to scream it from the rooftops. The other half warns about what happened last time. Warns about letting her get too close, letting this go too far.

It's already gone too far. Half isn't enough for Lexy. She deserves more than I can give her. She deserves someone who isn't still caught in their past. Lexy deserves someone who can love her completely, forever.

I'm not that person. I thought I was, once. I was wrong.

I made a promise to Lauren, and to myself. Made a plan to keep to myself. Kerry had been part of that plan. I had never said I loved her, and she seemed to be okay with that. That was the easy way out, and I knew it. Not to love like that again, not to care that much. Because if I did, and I lost someone again. I couldn't live with myself. Couldn't put myself through that pain I felt after Lauren, again. Oakley needs me to be strong. She needs her father, and when I think about Lauren, I'm not her father.

I'm some sort of monster. A monster that Lexy doesn't know about yet. That I hope she never knows about. If something were ever to happen to her...

Yes, it's better to end it now, before she finds out. I've already been so selfish. Asking her to move in with me, and Oakley. What was I thinking? It doesn't make this easier.

_But you do love her... _"But I shouldn't. I can't." I look back at Lexy, she didn't hear me. Arguing with myself, isn't that just fucking perfect.

Mergers, aquisitions, contracts, paperwork. I can deal with that. I can fix that. I can't fix myself. I can't make this work, and I don't know what to do next.

Break it off. Sounds easy enough, but hurting Lexy like that, after everything she's been through...

I reach for my phone. I'll do what I always do when I can't make a business deal come through. I'll call for advice.

"Dad. Yea, I know it's early. I'm coming over. I need to talk."

* * *

An hour later, I'm opening the double doors into my childhood home. It's three in the morning, but it doesn't stop me from making my way to Oakley's room. I need to see her. I need to remind myself what this whole promise was for.

I climb the stairs slowly, hands in my coat pockets. I know the path to her room by heart. Could find it in the dark if I had to.

I nudge the door open, and walk inside as quietly as I can. She's sleeping peacefully in her small bed. My angel. I back out of the room, and close the door behind me. The figure on the other side of the door makes me jump.

"Shit, Dad."

He grins wickedly, and holds up two cups of coffee. "Your own damn fault for getting me up at this hour. Come."

I follow my father to his study, where he sets the coffee on his desk, and sits in his large chair behind it.

"What's this all about, New York?"

"No, no." I shake my head, standing at the front of the desk. Business in New York is fine, I had made a trip there two weeks ago. Never better.

I stood here quite a few times over the years. This was where my punishment was dealt as a child. The words 'grounded', 'no TV', all came back to me. I seemed to always feel like a small child when it came to my fathers study. Maybe that's why I liked coming here. Dad always worked out the problem. "It's about Lexy." **  
**

I start to pace in front of the desk. It normally allows me to think clearer. Unfortunately, it only succeeded in making me more upset.

My father sips his coffee, and watches me pace before he answers. "The truth hurts."

"You sound like a fortune cookie."

"This is about Lauren, not Lexy. Don't be a fool, Morgan."

"It's about both."

"You're not over Lauren. You should talk to Flynn, he might be able to shed some light on what's really eating you."

The words are hung in the air. We can both feel them. Guilt. Regret. I stop pacing, and face the desk full on. "I don't want to talk to Flynn. I'm breaking it off with Lexy." There it is. I've said it, and now I feel like someone ripped out the last pieces of my heart.

"She loves you." My father stands up, and comes around the desk. "You're going to ruin this for yourself because of the guilt you feel over Lauren. Morgan, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was. And it is. I have to end it."

"Have you spoken to her yet?"

I sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk, head in hands again. "No."

"Morgan. Look at me, son." I obey. "Alexis Millen is the light in your world. I've seen how much you have changed since London. You leave her, she won't come back. You let Lauren come between you, you'll end up fucking this relationship up. I let someone come between your mother and I, once. I was damn lucky she took pity on me..."

"Christian."

I turn in my chair to see my mother standing in the doorway to the study. She looks exhausted, much the same way I look after Oakley spends an entire day at Escala. She's tiring, for such a little girl.

"Ana, go back to bed."

We both wait for my mother to listen. Instead, she comes to sit in the chair next to me. "Morgan, what's wrong sweetie?"

"It's nothing, Mom." Dad gives me a look, the 'you know she knows better than that' one. The lie was worth a try.

"Where's Lexy?"

My Mom was the one who encouraged me to invite Lexy to move in. She was the one who finally convinced me. Mom has been on 'Team Lexy' since I first brought her to meet Oakley, and they got along so well. Between her, and my three brothers, Lexy can do no wrong. It's unnerving, and amazing at the same time.

"Escala."

"So that's it." Mom smiles like she knows exactly where this is headed, and crosses her legs. "What did you try?"

I gape at my father, and feel a blush spread across my face. I am _not_ talking about my sex life with my mother. "You told Mom?"

Dad struggles for something to say, and runs a hand through his hair. Christian Grey, speechless? I tap my foot impatiently, and glare at him. He better come up with a good excuse, and quick.

"Morgan, your father told me because I asked about the Room when you moved in. Don't be embarrassed. I was concerned about you, and about Lexy." She pats my shoulder, like that fixes everything. "So, how was it?"

"Oh, no. I'm not going there." I start to stand, and Dad pushes me back into the chair roughly. I listen to them have a whole conversation about me, while I'm trying to escape.

"Ana, that's not why he's here."

"Then, what is it?"

"Lexy said she loves him."

"But...that's a wonderful thing."

"It's not that easy, Ana, and you know it."

"It could be."

"I'm sitting right here, you know." I speak up, finally. This is not why I came home, to hear the two of them debate how easy it should be. The last thing it is, is easy.

"What did you say, Morgan?" Mom touches my arm. She's so excited now, I can't understand it. Maybe she doesn't either.

"I...nothing. I didn't say anything. Should I have said something?"

Mom and Dad share a look together. Their secret code that Teddy, Dan, Carrey, Phoebe, and I are never privy to. It's like they talk without speaking, like they can read each other so well it doesn't need words.

"Go see Flynn." They say together.

"I don't need..."

"Do you want to make this work? This thing you and Lexy have, it's special. If you don't want it to work, then go back to Escala and break it off with her. It all comes down to how much you want her, Morgan. You need to face your demons head on. Fight for Lexy, damn it. I know it hurts to talk about Lauren, but you need to get past this. Call Flynn."

I look up at my Dad, and realize despite what he said to Lexy when he met her, he's rooting for us. He's hoping that it works for us, that I take the help I never have before. "What do I say to her? How do I make her understand?"

"The truth, Morgan. Tell Lexy the truth. You owe her that much."

* * *

The truth hurts. My father had said it.

He had no idea.

I sat in the chair in our bedroom, waiting for Lexy to wake up. Drinking the brandy from my bottom desk drawer. It was early to be drinking, only six, but I needed some liquid courage if I was going to tell her. I needed something, and this was the best it was going to get.

I haven't wanted to get high in so long. I had almost forgotten it. Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was the memories floating back to me of Lauren.

I pour myself another glass. I'll ask her to go home, and then schedule time with Flynn. But first, I'm drinking. Pretending that I'm going through with the fantastic weekend we had planned together. Pretending that life didn't change last night with those four words.

"Morgan...?" My focus shifts back to Lexy as she sits up in bed and looks around the room. Her hazel eyes come to rest on me, and she frowns. "What's wrong?"

Everything. Nothing. "We need to talk, Lex."

Lexy looks from me, to the glass in my hand, then to the clock."It's awful early to be talking."

She means drinking, but I understand. She's trying to ask me what's happening without actually accusing me of anything. "We need to talk." I realize I'm repeating the same words. No explanation, just the same phrase.

"Okay." She draws the word out, pulling the sheet around her. "I'm listening."

"I want you to go home."

Lexy stares at me for a minute, and then repeats the word. "Home."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Do you remember what you said last night?"

* * *

**Lexy.**

Do I remember what I said last night. Is the man insane? I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. If I didn't actually love him. I wouldn't make that shit up. That wasn't me. After what we did last night, after Kerry, and finding out about Oakley. After all of it, I've come to love Morgan. Truly love him.

It hits me hard then. And now he wants me to leave, because I told him I loved him. I didn't want to believe that was the whole reason. There must have been something else.

"Yea. I do." How could I not remember.

"That's why." Morgan's blue eyes are on fire. Here I thought we had a great night, and I wake up to this. Our romantic weekend. The one we had planned together, was over? He was telling me to leave. I felt like he had just knocked me on the floor. He couldn't even say the words to me. What was happening to us?

"I don't understand. I thought..." What did I think? I thought maybe he would say it back. Not at first, it would take some time, but I had assumed that he could say it eventually. I thought he would try to love me. Maybe I was wrong. Doubt crept over me slowly, making me feel sick inside.

"We need some space, both of us."

"That's an excuse, Morgan. You told me you wanted me to move in with you. That's what I did. Now you're taking it back because I said I loved you? Why?"

"I need some space. I think it would be best if you went home. Easier."

Easier. I watched Morgan swirl the alcohol around his glass. Angry. That was the word. Or maybe I was more frustrated, confused? I wanted him to say something unscripted to me. Something honest, not the same phrases he was recycling. "I tell you I love you, and that's what you have to say to me? You need space? Tell me how you really feel, Morgan."

I watch him knock back the rest of his drink, and stand up, before he looks at me seriously. "I feel that it would be in our best interests to separate. For now."

For now? He's just rearranging words, saying the same things over and over again. "Morgan, I..."

"Please, Lexy." The pain in his eyes gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Morgan was begging me to leave. The more I fight him, the more I struggle, the worse it will be. I wasn't making this 'easier' on either of us. If I would just give in, we could go our separate ways. And that's what Morgan wanted.

I could keep fighting for us, but Morgan had already set his mind to something. He already had a plan. I wasn't part of it, obviously. I was just the last one to realize it. I never saw it coming, is that why it felt so terrible?

"Fine." I say softly. Closing my eyes, choking back tears, I swallow the sadness that crushes me. Take it in so he doesn't see how much it hurts. This was what he wanted. My mantra, I kept repeating it in my head as I nodded. Morgan wants this. Morgan wants this. It was hard to believe, and even harder to swallow.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N : I owe you a chapter from yesterday. **

**Thanks for the reviews! You rock. Enjoy :)**

* * *

I haven't heard anything from Morgan in a week. Except for a few quick texts, about nothing in particular. Mostly about work. He's going on some sort of business for a few days. Shouldn't surprise me. I should have known that he was going to leave after that day. Should have counted on it.

I cried the first day I came home to the empty house. I wanted nothing more than to go back to Escala. The place I had started to consider home. They say home is where the heart is. Part of my heart was still at Escala, and I knew it. I packed my things as soon as I could. Morgan had wandered into the study, and left me to it. After packing my things, I decided to write Oakley a note. I had become very attached to Morgan's daughter. It didn't seem fair that I had to leave just because Morgan said so. I left my suitcase on the bed, and went to her room. She was at Christian and Ana's, so I figured maybe she would find it when she came home. I tucked it under her pillow, hoping that Morgan wouldn't ruin my goodbye. Out of everything, I think I would miss Oakley the most. I went to say goodbye to him, but he had the door closed to the study. Under normal circumstances it wouldn't have stopped me. But that morning, I was keeping it together until I got home, and I didn't want to break in front of Morgan. In the end, I left without saying anything.

I've been out with Aleah, over at her place for a few hours now and then. She tells me I don't need anyone. I really don't, how long have I been on my own now? Please. Getting upset over a man. Aleah acts like it's just a passing phase, but I know better. It's going to take time for Morgan to fade away from my life.

Truth is, I've never needed anyone more. I miss Morgan. I can't stop thinking about him, combing through my memories, trying to piece together what went wrong. The more I thought about it, the more I hurt. I shouldn't have said that I loved him. Even if I did mean it. Look what I've done now, scared him away. Ruined everything. But I'm also angry. I was honest with him about how I felt, and he couldn't return the favor. I'm confused and frustrated over the whole thing. I'm sick and tired of his excuses. I should have known it was too good to be true. Maybe I was naive, and got caught up in everything too fast. I just had so many dreams about us. Things were different for me, things were different for Morgan. Our plans didn't line up anymore. Morgan said he wanted me, but backtracked and pushed me away instead. I thought I knew him, but I really didn't.

I tried to give him space. All the space he wants. I only contact him, if he contacts me. I repeat my mantra. Over and over. Morgan wants this. Morgan wants space. Morgan wants to be alone. All I want to do is run back to Escala and tell him he's wrong. Pound on the door and yell that I love him.

The first day, I cried. After that, I decided Morgan didn't deserve my tears. The second and third, I moped around the house. Watching TV, and staring at the phone. Praying that Morgan would wake up from this nightmare and call. He didn't. The fourth day, I put the phone away. I gave up on him coming back to get me, and went back to my normal life. I started writing again. I let the anger rule me. It was simpler that way. The next few days went by faster then, and all of a sudden it had been a week since I had moved out of Escala.

When I heard a knock on the front door, I didn't hesitate. It must be Aleah again. She started coming over some nights, bearing ice cream, so we could watch TV together.

My favorite ice cream, the best cure to anything ailing you.

I walk to the door, and find Sam Taris standing on the other side. I'm struck dumb for a few seconds until he smiles at me. A genuine smile.

"Hey, Lexy."

I'm torn between slamming the door in his face, and talking to him. "What the hell do you want, Sam?"

The smile fades quickly into something else as he holds up a magazine. Sam pushes his blonde hair out of his eyes, and glances at me. Morgan and I are on the cover. Laughing. Kissing. "Curious. Where's your boy toy?"

"He's not mine." It slips out before I even think about it. God, did I really look that happy a few weeks ago? I take the magazine from Sam, and look at the beautiful couple gracing the front page. It doesn't seem possible. Doesn't seem real. I touch Morgan's face, his head thrown back in laughter as I kiss his cheek at the park. I wonder if he feels as awful as I do. Like someone is twisting a knife in my heart. Morgan wants space...Morgan wants this...Morgan wants to be alone...and so do I.

"Sure looks like it." Sam glances from the cover back to me. "I was wondering..."

This couldn't be good. The phrase never came before anything that was a good idea. Why was he even here? Asking about Morgan? This didn't make any sense. The last time we were together, Sam was telling me he couldn't accept what had happened in my past. I did things backwards with Morgan. I told him about my past before I loved him. I told Sam I loved him first, and the past came later. Either way I was left alone in the end.

"What is it, Sam?" I'm a little less demanding now. Sam isn't Morgan, and I try to remember that. Our breakup wasn't angry, or sad. It was a quiet split, something that had happened because we were different. Not because I had admitted how I felt, but because Sam felt like he didn't know me anymore.

"If maybe you would go out with me again. Maybe we could try. I know I walked out on you, but...well, I was hoping we could talk. About everything."

I know exactly what to say to him in my mind. I watch it play out in my mind.

_"But nothing. You left me after I was honest with you." Turns out, honesty was the worst policy. It bit me in the ass every time. I was honest with Sam, he broke off our engagement. I was honest with Morgan about how I felt, he asked me to leave, to give him space. "You made your bed, now it's time to lie in it."_

_And with that, I did what I should have done in the first place. I slammed and locked the door in his face._

I don't say that. I look up at Sam, and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. It's not like I'm saving myself. Where's my mantra for myself? It's only an innocent date. I twist the magazine in my hands until the cover is wrapped around itself. Morgan doesn't need me. I don't need him anymore. I'll prove it to myself. Maybe I could give Sam and I another chance. And if not, then we'll both have some closure. "Sure, Sam. When?"

* * *

I called Aleah and told her about Sam. We talked about going out the day after, to do something together. She had this whole day planned out. Book store, hair salon, department stores, lunch. The list went on and on. I agreed to all of it, as long as she promised not to tell Mom about Sam.

Morgan called me that day. I sent it to voice mail. I didn't even bother to listen to it.

I picked a very public place for our first date. Or, reunion. I hoped the photographers would find us. I hoped Sam and I might end up on the front page. Damning evidence that no one could deny. Okay, so I wanted to rub it in Morgan's face a little bit. Could you blame me?

Sam picked me up, his green eyes smiling at me. I smiled back, sort of. He had dressed up for the occasion, dark jeans and a crisp white shirt. I took a few minutes to remember why I had been attracted to him in the first place. He was built, I knew for a fact that he worked out almost everyday of the week, and tall. Almost six inches taller than me. Sam seemed to know I was off, but he didn't press me as he drove to the restaurant I had chosen. We talked casually about his job. Sam was a lawyer. He had stepped into his fathers firm easily, being an only child. Sam was passionate about his work, I remembered that vividly.

Kissing Sam before he went to work, from my house. Helping him with his tie before he ran out of the door. Sam twirling me around the dance floor at his cousin's wedding. I knew exactly when to expect him to come home, down to the minute. I remembered waiting for him, cooking his favorite meal...

"Lexy? Something wrong?"

Sam was watching me carefully. I came back to myself slowly. The car was parked, and he turned the key, shutting it off. We were already at the restaurant. "Just thinking, that's all."

"I've been doing a lot of that lately." Sam gave me a small smile, and turned in his seat to look at me. "I really missed you, Lexy."

"You broke it off." I pointed out the obvious, and he shook his head.

"Let's talk over dinner? I really don't want to do this in the car."

"Alright." I agree, and he opens my car door and holds his hand for me. I take it, a gesture that isn't lost on me. I smile weakly at Sam, he's remembered our routine flawlessly. Down to what time I liked dinner, and how to hold my hand. "Just like old times."

"Did you think it would be different?"

"I don't know." I really didn't.

Sam and I walk hand in hand to the doors, and once inside the hostess seats us immediately at a small table for two. We both order our drinks, and peruse the menus quietly.

I decide soon, and fold the menu back up. Looking around the small dining room, my eyes meet familiar grey ones. I curse under my breath before I hear my name. Before I see him stand up and come towards the table.

"Lexy?"


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N : Stayed up extra late to get this one to you. Enjoy :)**

* * *

"Hey, Teddy. How are you?"

I'm surprised to see him, and he smiles at me fondly. I give him a quick smile, and stand as he moves to me. I'm shocked when he wraps me in a bear hug, pressing me to him tightly. I have no choice but to hug back, and listen to his own questions.

"Me? What about you? What's going on? What's happening?"

Teddy pulls away, and seems to either not see, or ignores Sam. I don't know what to say to him, so I gape for a few minutes until something comes to me.

"I'm okay. I'm out, on a date." My eyes flick from Teddy, to Sam, and then back again.

"Oh."

I watch it sink in, slowly. Teddy gets this extremely serious look on his face. I imagine it's the one he uses when he conducts business. He shows no emotion as he let's me go and shoves his hands deep into his coat pockets. "Theodore Grey, and you are?"

Sam lifts an eyebrow at me. "Sam Taris. You must be Morgan's brother?" I nod once, and Sam seems to understand. His focus shifts back to Teddy, and they stare at each other for a few tense minutes before I break the silence.

"So, Teddy. It's really wonderful to see you, but we were just.."

"Morgan is a fool." Teddy sighs, and pushes a hand through his hair. I wring my hands together. I don't want to talk about Morgan. Not really. This is supposed to be a date. A way to start getting past him. "He.."

"No." I heard Sam's chair push back at the sound of my voice. That's how angry I sounded. That's how mad I was. "We're not having this discussion Teddy. I really like you, and I hate to do this, but you need to go back and tell him that he's a complete asshole. I'm not crying in the corner because he asked me to leave. I'm trying to move forward."

Dead silence, and Teddy's look of complete and utter confusion made me stop. I felt Sam's hand on my arm, and I didn't push him away.

"You should listen to his message." Teddy's whisper hit me hard. Made me think twice. I glanced at the phone on the table, and found Sam's eyes on the way back. He nodded once.

Sighing, I picked the phone up, and dialed my voice mail. Get it over with, I told myself, listening to it ring. Finish it. Put it to rest, and move on.

"Lexy. I don't want to do this over the phone, but you refuse to answer. I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I want to explain. Please, just give me a chance to..."

I didn't finish it. I ended the call, and tossed the phone on the table where it clattered with the glasses. I covered my face with shaky hands, and blew out a long breath before deciding what to say. How to finish it.

"Teddy, I want you to tell him something for me." I waited until Teddy focused on me again, until he understood that this was important. "Tell Morgan, that I don't give a shit how sorry he is. I'm sick and tired of all of his excuses. We gave it a shot, and I'm not bulletproof. I loved him, but it's over. He made it clear enough. I'm done."

I let go of Teddy, and turned back to find Sam standing behind me. I was grateful that he was there, putting his arm around my shoulders. "I think that's enough. I trust Morgan knows how to contact her."

* * *

**Morgan. **

Guilt. Flynn keeps saying that's what my problem is, but I'm not entirely sure.

I've called Lexy. I don't blame her for not answering, I wouldn't have answered my call either. Not after the way I spoke to her, not after what I said.

The hurt look on her face when she left still haunts me. Reminding me of what I've done. What I've ruined. I try to remember what I looked like right after. Did I look that hurt? I can't bring it back.

Idiot. That's what my father has called me, along with a few choice names. He's disgusted with me, angry that I asked Lexy to leave. My mother isn't talking to me, something I didn't see coming.

I should have listened to him, should have known he knew exactly what he was talking about.

I'm not sure why I had Tine drive me here. Not sure exactly what brought me to this place after talking with Flynn. Then again, it's probably the driving force behind all of my actions the past week. I can't get her out of my mind, out of my thoughts. I've found myself reliving things in nightmares. Things I thought were dead and buried.

Lauren.

Her name echoes through my mind, through the cemetery. Past her grave. I feel like I'm on some sort of trip that I can't get off. Some dream that I can't get out of. She used to understand me, _everything_ about me. Lauren always accepted everything I was, everything I wasn't, with a smile. When I told her I was a Grey, she just laughed it off. Told me that I could be whoever I wanted, if I just gave myself a chance. As a rebellious teenager, she was exactly what I needed, what I craved.

Flynn says I'm still holding on too tightly, that I never really let go. I thought he was wrong, at first. But the more he talks at me, the more I have to consider the fact that he's hitting the nail on the head. Flynn has me down to a science.

"I miss you."

The words are true, but they don't feel like they belong to me. Lauren and I didn't say things like that. She never said anything to clue in that she liked me. That wasn't her. Lauren kept her emotions on a tight leash, especially around men. I understood that, I understood her. Just like she accepted me.

I sit on the bench a few feet from her grave, and lean back. I've told Tine to take a drive, I didn't care where or for how long. I just wanted some privacy.

Some time alone to bask in my self inflicted misery. To really think about what I've done.

Lauren playing guitar one night comes unbidden into my memory. Lightning flashing behind her as she strummed quietly to herself, thunder booming along like some sort of accompaniment. Her dirty blonde hair falling around her shoulders, Lauren was beautiful in that moment. She had assumed I was asleep in her bed, but I felt her leave. I had waited until she started, and finished, before sitting up and pulling her back to me.

Lauren holding Oakley for the first time, smiling up at me. Our daughter in her arms. I never knew pride before that day. Never knew what that truly felt like until Oakley was born. We were both proud, and happy. Our small family was complete. For a time. Until...

_Don't go down that road._

I sigh, and try to direct my attention somewhere else. I watch a bird fly, and then perch on a headstone. Flynn, and my entire family, has insisted over and over that it isn't my fault. As much as I would like to believe that, I know better. I know for a fact that Lauren's death was caused by my words, my actions.

Lexy saying she loved me just brought it all back. A fresh wave of pain. Old buried feelings brought back to the surface. It wasn't fair, the way I reacted. I should have done it differently, attempted the truth, but it seemed like too much. Sometimes it's too much for me to remember.

_"I love you, Lauren!"_

_"No, Morgan. This isn't love. This isn't what people do when they love each other!" Lauren screaming at me, pushing me away. _

_"Don't you understand? How could I not love you?" _

_I try to move closer and touch her, but she yanks her arm away from me. That hurts more than her words ever could. Cuts me deep. _

_"I _never_ agreed to love, Morgan. You know that. Sex, that's all it is."_

_"I want more. I want you, Lauren. And Oakley. Forever. Tell me you don't want that." Begging, pleading, I'll do anything to make the pain go away. To make her see. Get on my knees, whatever it takes._

_"I don't."_

My words ruined us. My love forced her to leave that night, to find shelter in her old vices. I waited all night for her to come back, pacing, watching the clock.

She never came home. I got the call the next morning, from the hospital.

I close my eyes, and count to ten. Pray that it isn't real. Open them again, and find things are still the same. Lauren is still dead, Lexy pushed away, and I'm still sitting on the bench in the graveyard.

I've done this to myself. It's my fault.

Guilt. Seems appropriate, considering I'm guilty of hurting both of them.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N : Hey guys! Sorry this one took so long. I just had so many ideas, I couldn't decide which ones to follow. **

**Let me know what you think! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews! They mean so much. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Christian. **

I lay back in bed, listening to Ana's deep breathing. She's been asleep for almost an hour now, but sleep doesn't come quite as easily for me anymore.

I'm supposed to be retired, but it really never ends. The phone calls, the paperwork, the headaches. They're not entirely mine, but I still like to have my hands in the business. My business, technically.

Especially when the boys can't handle whatever is happening in their personal lives. I've watched them all stumble, and make their own mistakes. Some larger than others. I've always been there to pick up the pieces, and set them on their feet again. That's my job as their father, and I take it seriously.

I've had to separate them before, boys will be boys, but I never suspected that they would be fighting over a woman. Not like this.

"I'm too old for this shit."

That's why I'm fucking pissed off at Morgan. I understand what he did, why he pushed Lexy away, but it doesn't excuse his behavior. I never expected his brothers to gang up on him. The confrontation in the board room took Morgan and I both by surprise.

Teddy, Dan, and Carrey all had opinions on what Morgan had done. Funny. They were all of the same opinion. It was agreed that Morgan would take a mandatory vacation. Teddy had made sure his Los Angeles deal had been reassigned. Morgan had been pissed, understandable. It had been Morgan's deal, his plans that would bring us closer to LA. Teddy was punishing him, even I could see that. For what, I wasn't sure.

I hear the door squeak open, and see the light pour in from the hallway. I'm fully awake instantly, moving towards the door silently as to not wake Ana.

"Grandpa?" Oakley is holding onto the doorknob with one hand, holding a piece of folded paper in the other. I usher her out of the room into the hallway, and glance at the clock.

"Sweetheart, it's midnight. What's wrong?"

Oakley holds the paper to her chest, and looks around. "You can't tell Daddy, Grandpa. Pinky swear."

I hold back a small smile. My granddaughter has the negotiation skills that are sure to lead my company someday, if she wants. Rivaling her uncles, and her father. I'm insanely proud of her for asking me to promise before she gives anything away. As embarrassing as it is, I hold my right pinky out for her. Duty calls. Grey in training, even at midnight.

"I swear I won't tell your father." She wraps her little finger around mine, and we kiss our hands before we let go. In that moment, I'm Grandpa, the secret keeper.

"Can we go see Lexy?"

Her gorgeous blue eyes question me. I'm taken aback by her question, and my eyes flit to the paper in her hand. I haven't spoken to Alexis since her last visit with Oakley, almost two weeks ago. I only know what Morgan has told me, and the rumors flying around when the boys don't think I'm listening. Needless to say, I wish I had more information. "She's probably asleep, sweetheart. Just like you should be. What's so urgent that you must speak to her at midnight?"

"She wrote me a letter, and I want to see her. I miss her, Grandpa."

This is something new. Oakley misses her. I'm not sure what to make of that. "May I see the letter?"

"You promised." She reminds me, handing over the piece of paper. Like I could forget.

I smirk down at her. "I know."

I take the worn paper, and unfold it. I read it carefully, twice.

_Oakley, _

_I want you to know how much I care about you, and how much your father loves you. I have to leave, but this isn't about you. I want you to understand that it's not your fault that I have to go. It's my fault._

_Your Daddy is going to need you in the next few weeks, take care of him for me. Be strong for him._

_You're a bright, wonderful, beautiful young lady. Don't forget that! _

_I'll try to call you, and I'll be at your recital next month. You mean so much to me, Oakley. I'm sorry I couldn't stay for you._

_Love, Lexy_

I've misjudged Lexy. Ana told me as much after the first meeting. This letter is proof that Morgan is a complete idiot. No wonder Oakley made me promise.

"Your father doesn't know about this letter?" Oakley shakes her head no. "Has Lexy contacted you?" No, again. Although, if Lexy did try to call I doubt Morgan would have let her talk to Oakley. I waver for a few seconds, glancing between the paper, and Oakley. "Come." I hold my hand out for her to take, and lead her to her bedroom. A letter like this deserves a response, but not tonight. I have something else in mind. In person.

* * *

**Lexy.**

"I had a really great time tonight, Sam. I'm sorry about.."

"No, don't be sorry. It happens."

He's made excuses for himself all night, but so have I. Sam claims it was all too much to handle at once, my past just wasn't what he expected. It was hard for him to hear, and even harder to come to terms with. But, Sam tells me he's figured it out. He knows what he wants, especially after he saw the magazine cover. That was the tipping point. The means to an end. I'm just not sure what I want right now. I've tried to explain it to him. Tried to say that I wasn't positive I was ready for another relationship. Things feel unsettled.

Plus, Morgan's brothers are following me around. How am I supposed to start something with them still waiting for me to get back with their brother? With him still calling me?

The longer we stayed at dinner, the more I compared Sam and Morgan. Two different people. The more I tried to push Morgan out of my thoughts, the more he sunk in. What was my real motivation for agreeing to a date with Sam? Was I trying to make Morgan jealous? Was I hoping he would come to his senses after he saw me out with another man?

Maybe that was part of it, but I still wanted to try with Sam. We had history, the kind that spans years, and leads to more. I always had a soft spot for Sam, would it really be hard to fall back into our old ways?

Things between Morgan and I aren't completely finished, and that's what's bothering me the most. I need to really end things between us if I expect to start a different relationship. I need a clean break. Cut all ties. End. It.

Even as I think it, I know it doesn't feel right. Something doesn't feel right, but I can't place it. Ever since I told Teddy I was done, I've been on edge, uncomfortable. Ever since I started to listen to that message, I started to backtrack. Something is wrong, but I can't place it. I meant what I said, but I feel conflicted. Of all things, slamming the door behind me at Escala comes back to mind. Slamming it behind me, because I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to finish things, maybe that's it. Maybe I just wanted Morgan to chase after me.

"So, I'll call you?" Sam interrupts my mental wanderings, and I realize he's been waiting for me to say something for a few minutes as I stare off into space. As I think about another man that I love. I shake my head, I can't still love him, not after what he said to me. If that's true, why does it feel like I'm torn?

"If you want."

"Sure." Sam leans in to kiss me, and I let him. It feels like it used to. Familiar, nice. It's not the searing heat I feel around Morgan, though. It's dampened, held back. I curse myself for comparing him to Morgan again. I have to stop, it's ridiculous.

"Bye, Sam."

"Bye, Lexy."

I hold my phone later, after Sam is long gone, trying to puzzle it out.

I finish listening to the message, and understand what bothered me so much. What's been eating me this whole time. It wasn't the words, it was the way he said them. Morgan's voice isn't quite right, it cracks and breaks a few times. It sounds like Morgan has been crying.

Carrey's words from one night in London come back to me. We were watching a sappy movie, where the lead actress dies tragically, and the hero holds her dying body, sobbing, before she miraculously comes back to life.

_"Aw, Carrey. Look, he really loved her after all." _

_Carrey had looked up from his popcorn, and told me then, flat out. "Grey men never cry..._**Never**_."_

* * *

Escala. I stand on the sidewalk outside, and look up at the top floor. At the lights on at one in the morning. I take a deep breath, and push the button for the elevator.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

I repeat it on the long ride upstairs. Something is wrong with Morgan, and I can't sleep until I know he's alright. I've tried calling, but he won't pick up. I'm nervous, scared even. I know I shouldn't be this worried about him. I know he wants his space, but my mind keeps going through worst case scenarios. I lay in bed thinking, not sleeping like I should have been. Thinking about the key I still had to the elevator, that I never returned.

Accident. Fire. Morgan's all alone in that apartment he calls home. If something had happened...it just doesn't feel right. I'll just knock on the door, and check on him. Then I'll go home. That's all I want, is to make sure he's okay. To make sure he's not doing something he's going to regret. I don't have any other motives, I tell myself. Ha, yea right.

The elevator doors open, and I think about pushing the button just to close them. To turn away and go home, it's not too late. Walk away.

I can't. I look longingly at the button, and sigh. Something is wrong, I just know it.

I walk into the foyer, and stand there, uncertain of myself. Should I keep trying to find him? There's no fire, the apartment looks...okay.

"Morgan?" I listen. One beat passes. Then two. I hear a noise come from the bedroom, and tilt my head. Was that my name? I move forward, decided now. I need to know if he's okay, then I'll leave. I walk into the bedroom, and find the bathroom light on. I toss my purse on the bed, and start for the bathroom. "Morgan, are you..."

I stop dead in my tracks. Morgan is sitting on the bathroom floor with his back to the wall. He looks like death warmed over. I rush into the bathroom, and kneel on the floor next to him. There's a brandy bottle next to the wall on his other side, mostly empty. I hope that's all it is. "Morgan. What are you doing?" I pull up on him, trying to get some sort of response.

"Drinking, duh."

Well, at least he's somewhat conscious. I push my hair out of my face, and look down at him. He seems to be perfectly content on the floor. "Open your eyes, Morgan, and help me get you to bed. Come on."

To my surprise, he listens to me. I help him out of the bathroom, leaving the brandy, and into bed where he collapses. I try to rearrange the messy bed, pushing pillows, and fixing the sheets, before Morgan totally falls asleep. Pulling the blankets over him, I start to leave. He's okay, just drunk. There's no reason to stay.

"Lexy." Or there is?

"Yea?"

"Come 'ere." He's somewhat propped in bed, looking at me with a very sleepy expression. It makes my heart flutter strangely. Drunk Morgan is apparently attractive? Bad idea, my brain reminds my heart, this will get you into trouble. Just leave. Make a quick exit. Get out while you can, and don't look back.

"Morgan, you're drunk. You're not going to remember any of this tomorrow."

"Yea, that's the point. Perfect timing. Get it out, yell at me. I know you want to."

Oh. I study his expression, he's totally serious. Actually, that's a great point. Might as well.. "You're an ass, Morgan."

"So I've been told. Go on." He's actually smirking at me, like he's adding it to some sort of hate list. I get serious, quick. This isn't some sort of fun thing to do.

"This is all about me saying 'I love you'. I only said it because it's how I feel. I let the real feelings show, and you asked me to leave. That hurt, Hotshot. It all hurts." I play with the zipper on my purse, and wait for some sort of response.

"Why did you show up, if it hurts?"

"I had this feeling. I don't know, it sounds stupid." I shake my head, but Morgan won't let it go.

"A feeling?"

"Yea, like you were in trouble or something. More like you were in trouble from running out of brandy. Crisis averted, Detective Lexy." I say sarcastically. "Don't worry, I'll let myself out." I turn for the door, and hear Morgan try to get up, come after me.

"No, wait. Lexy."

I curse my heart, and turn slowly. I really should just leave. He's fine, after all. "What?"

"You were right." I watch Morgan mess his hair up even more, and look at the bathroom door. "I was going to call my old dealer and..."

"What? You weren't going to get high over this, were you? Morgan, tell me you weren't." I go to where he's sitting in bed, and stand in front of him. "Don't do this, not over me. It's not worth it, Morgan."

"I'm sorry, Lexy."

Morgan looks up at me, and I see the pain, my pain, of the last week in his eyes. He's been suffering in his own way. It hurts for him, in a different place. Where Lauren was, where he kept his love for her locked away. I've torn away the tight grip he's kept on his emotions since she died. The control he's had to keep, for Oakley. I've done that, and now he doesn't remember how to cope.

"You should be." I say gently. Morgan breaks eye contact, and his eyes roam over the tshirt I'm wearing. Over his shirt. I didn't even realize when I put it on at home before running out the door. His brows knit together for a few seconds as he fingers the hem of his shirt, and then he walks me closer. Until he's wrapping his arms around my middle, and burying his face in my stomach. I hear him mumbling something about 'sorry' and 'everything', but I don't catch all of it. He's holding me tightly, like his lifeline.

The hurt comes back, full force. I can't let him back easy, but I can give him a few moments of comfort before I go. I haven't forgotten what he's done, but he needs me right now, this minute won't kill me. I run my fingers through his hair, and rub his back. Soothing circles, while I talk to him like he's Oakley's age. "You can't do that, Morgan. You have Oakley to think about. Think about how disappointed she would be, how disappointed you would be with yourself. Don't throw it all away over this."

Morgan pulls back slowly, and looks up at me, still holding the tails of his shirt. "You still believe in me. After what I've done to our relationship, you still believe that I can be a good person."

I pause for a minute, thinking. I allow myself to ignore the hurt, to block it. I touch Morgan's jawline gently, missing the way he kissed me. My heart flutters, and then quiets as I start to take my hand back and Morgan catches it. Flipping it over, and kissing my palm. I miss him, yes. The hurt comes back immediately, with the love. I feel like someone has shoved a knife into my heart, and is twisting slowly as he holds my hand. Morgan has done this to us, has hurt me. And yet...

"There's a good person in there somewhere. Underneath all of the fucked-upness. I've just been lucky enough to catch a glimpse."

We're both quiet for a few long minutes, watching each other warily. I remember the way he looked at Oakley the first time I saw her. The smile he gave her. The other sides of Morgan, not this one, they're different. I've seen the brother, the father, the son in him. The good person that he can be. It gives me a crazy hope. Insane, really.

I'm still unsure why I haven't left yet. Maybe I need to make sure he's not going to change his mind. Maybe it's just that I'm torn between leaving, and talking with him. I know one thing, I don't want to pull my hand away from his.

"What do I have to do to get you to come back, Lex? Tell me, and I'll do it. Just don't leave again. I can't handle it."

That breaks the spell I was under, I take my hand back, and step back. "You're drunk, you don't mean that."

"I'm buzzed, and yes, I do mean that."

"My feelings haven't changed, Morgan. That's why you asked me to leave in the first place, right? How is moving back in going to fix anything?"

"That wasn't why, I...listen, I'm figuring it out. I pushed you away because I didn't want to hurt you."

"That's exactly what you did, Morgan! You hurt me by breaking up with me!" I'm shouting at him now, but can't seem to stop myself. My anger floats back to the surface, remembering the hurt. "How could you do that to me? To us? How can I trust you after that? I didn't expect you to say it back! I just wanted you to know how I feel! I thought..." I shake my head, it doesn't matter anymore, and if I keep on this rant I'll end up crying. And I am not crying, not right now.

"The last time I said that, Lauren died, okay?" My breath catches in my throat as I look down at Morgan again. His whispered confession trumps my shouting. He loved Lauren. I feel something then that I didn't expect, and it catches my by surprise. Jealousy.

"Morgan, I didn't know.."

"I know. You don't know, because I didn't have the guts to tell you. I thought you would leave if I was honest with you."

"I was completely honest with you. How is that fair?"

"It wasn't. I'm terrible at this. This is exactly why I haven't told anyone about it."

I waver between staying to listen, and leaving. It would be easier for me to walk away, but what about Morgan and Oakley? I sigh, and sit on the bed next to him. "Just tell me, Morgan." No one else is going to love you like I do. No other woman is going to come to Escala because she has a feeling. This is your shot, I want to say, but I don't. "You can tell me."

"That's the thing, I don't want to tell you. That's the whole reason I pushed you away." Then he's up off the bed, pacing, running his hands through his hair. Agitated, upset. I sit back on the bed, and look at the floor. This is going to be a lot of work. Getting Morgan to open up is going to be hard. Rome wasn't built in a day, right?

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Pushing me away." That stops his pacing, and I look out from under my arm to find him studying me. "Maybe we're going about this all wrong."

"What do you mean?"

I look around the bedroom, and then watch Morgan. I've been thinking about this for a few days now, about how it all went down. "Maybe we should have taken things slower. Maybe we should try being friends first, what do you think?"

Morgan laughs, and shakes his head. "I don't really have any friends."

"That's okay. I'm not asking for letters of reference." My sarcasm goes unnoticed, the word 'friends' is still hanging between us. A chance, a choice, a change, for both of us. I can't just take him back, but I can try to get to know him better before I pass complete judgement. I'm willing to try something different. What we're doing now isn't working. Obviously.

"So, no sex?"

"Nope."

"No epic kissing?"

"Friends don't kiss, Morrie." I can't help but smirk at him. His playful grin is back, now that I've changed the subject. Now that we aren't yelling at each other. Funny how quickly the tables can turn. I miss this side of him, that smile.

"Not sure I like this idea."

"Yes, I know. Every woman in town is ready to jump you Grey men, but some of us just want to know you better. Is that so terrible?"

"Sex is easy. The truth is hard."

I felt the truth of that statement ring through me. We hadn't had any problems until our pasts came into play. Until we needed to be honest with each other. Go figure."What do you want Morgan, sex or a real relationship? That's what this is about. I want more than sex, I want the whole relationship. That starts with being friends, if that's what you want."

"I want you, Lex." Wow. The look in Morgan's eyes shuts me up for a few seconds, makes my world drop out from under my feet. My brain has quieted, my heart tugs me towards him. I'm fighting an inner war with myself. I won't give in, I tell my heart, just because he's said that doesn't mean it's all better. I'm not even sure what to say, but I'm not giving in. "I'll be your friend, if that's what you want."

I get up quickly. That's it, now I can go. I _have_ to go, before my heart ruins everything. "Alright then. Friends. You're alive, I guess I'll go home now."

"What do friends do?"

Oh, the adorable look on his face when he's confused about something so simple. How can Morgan not know about having friends? Has the man really gone through his life without any real friends? "Hmmm. How about you come over to my house tomorrow? We can talk over action movies and junk food?"

"This is fucked up, but okay. Sure. I'll be there."

I left Escala feeling oddly okay. Friends, I could do that. No commitments, no attachments. Just platonic talking, that's all. A starting point until we figure out what to do next, where to go after. I bought myself some time to decide what to do.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N : To the Guest that asked me to update RIGHT NOW, this is for you. I was working on that chapter when you reviewed. Hope you all enjoy. :) **

* * *

**Lexy. **

That day went quicker than I expected, especially because I slept half of it away once I got home from Escala. I tried to clean the house after, tried to make it look nicer than it really was. I gave up on the house after about an hour, and proceeded to get ready. After that, I sat in front of the computer and wrote, and wrote, and wrote. I had lost all track of time by the time Morgan pulled up to the house.

Morgan let himself in, I don't think he even knocked. That sort of annoyed and surprised me.

"Friends walk in." Morgan smiled at me, setting a bag on the counter. I frowned at him.

"I thought you didn't have any friends."

"I do now." He moved closer behind me, and kissed my cheek. Just like his brothers, but not. It gave me butterflies when he wrapped his arms around me. Stupid butterflies. I couldn't help but be happy to see him, even if we were just trying to be friends. Trying to get along. "Who's this?"

A magazine was shoved under my nose. Sam and I were holding hands, at the restaurant. I laughed a little, nervously. So much for getting along. I tried to keep my tone even, failed. "That's Sam."

"Sam, who?"

"Sam. I dated him before you. We went out." Sue me. I thought, but didn't say. Morgan might have taken that seriously. Talking about my relationship with Sam, in depth, was not what I wanted now. I didn't want to think about what had happened between us. I didn't want to go there again today. I had already made a choice, had decided that it wasn't fair to Sam to string him along. I pulled my way out of Morgan's arms, and turned to look at his face. It was twisted in a half grin. Like he shouldn't be happy, but he was.

"This is a test, right?" Morgan flipped to a page, and held it out to me. Sam and I were kissing, but not touching anywhere else. The one kiss, had been blown up over a whole page. With the words 'Morgan Grey's love interest finds someone new', written across the top. I started to take it from him, but he yanked it back. He muttered to himself, looking at the cover. "I'm hoping to pass, but I'm not sure how."

Test. Yea, right. If he only knew... "We just went out once. It's not that big of a deal, Morgan."

Morgan looked up from the cover, and took a step closer to me. Blue eyes burning into me. I almost shrank back, but held my ground at the last second. Morgan wasn't going to get the best of me with that look. The Crazy CEO look. I wasn't buying it.

"You love _me_, right?"

Oh. So, _now_ it was a big deal if I loved him. _Now_ it mattered. I wanted to rail at him. Slap him. I thought about yelling at him, cursing, kicking him out. Where would that get me? I'll tell you. Nowhere. Morgan wanted to make sure I wasn't lost to Sam. He wanted to know he still had a chance.

Possessive, that's what he was. My brain told me I was making a mistake, but I couldn't help moving closer to him. My heart gave a heavy sigh, this was what it really wanted. Morgan, not Sam. Why did I always want what I shouldn't? Sam would have been easier, less complicated. Instead, I was attracted to the mess that was Hotshot. Instead, I still loved Morgan. It was so stupid, and I knew it. My brain kept telling me that Morgan was bad news, but my heart wouldn't listen. It was how I felt, but I wasn't about to yell it from the rooftops, especially after how that went last time. Better to keep him hanging, to try and figure out his issues before we jumped off that cliff again. I wasn't ready to tackle this question, but Morgan was waiting.

"We're friends, Morgan. Does it matter that much to you?"

I watched him swallow, hard, as he looked me over. I had dressed up a little for just a movie in. Tried to look nice. He assessed me carefully, slowly, before his blue eyes met mine again. "It's the only thing that matters to me."

Whoa. I stared at him for a full minute, and took a step back. I was pretty sure I had to pick my jaw off the floor before I came up with the words. The ones that would protect me, sort of. I wanted to believe, but the knife still twisted in my heart. I wasn't going easily this time. Morgan couldn't just barge his way back into my life with sweet words. It was going to take work. Real work. "What's this, a change of heart?"

"I'm going to do what I should have done before."

"And what's that?" I asked, hands on hips, I pulled farther away. Morgan was different tonight, determined. I watched him fist the magazine in his hands before he answered. Things were clear to him, I saw.

"Fight for you."

Yes! My heart swelled inside. If he was willing to fight, he still wanted me. I tried not to let it show, how happy I was with his confession, kept it hidden away. Refocus, Lexy. Get a grip! Don't look like a lovesick teenager. "A week ago you didn't think that way. A week ago you kicked me out of Escala. A week ago, you couldn't stand to hear me say those words. What's changed?"

Morgan smiled at me. "I lost you. Made me do something crazy, like book an appointment with Flynn."

I didn't know what to say to that. This was supposed to be casual, easy. The conversation we were having right then was nothing near that. It was closer to weighted down, heavy. I was pretty sure Flynn was some sort of therapist, Morgan had said something about therapy before. It could work, maybe. If he could fight his demons for us to be together...maybe. I turned to the sink, away from Morgan. Trying to decide how much of my feelings I should show him. I remembered the last time I had said that I loved him, how terrible I had felt that next morning. Did I want that again? Was it worth it?

"Yes."

"Yes what."

"To your question."

We were both whispering at that point, why I didn't know. No one was around to hear us, and it wasn't like we were talking about top secret information. Or maybe we were. Maybe Morgan felt safer this way. I listened as he stepped closer to me, and covered my hand with his. Don't look at him, I willed myself. Any resolve I had left would have disappeared, and I knew it. Resist, I told myself.

"Say it, Lex."

"Why?"

"Because I need to hear it."

"Friends don't say that." That was the best excuse I had at the moment.

"Excuses, excuses." Morgan shook his head, and tsked at me.

I moved to the fridge, pulling out sodas for us. Pulling away from him. I wanted this conversation to be over. I wanted our casual night in instead of this right now. "You can't just ask me to say it." I had forgotten that I was talking to Morgan Grey. Used to getting whatever he pleased with the push of a button. "Just like you can't make me do anything else I don't want to."

"Like what?"

"Like getting back with you right now. It's not happening, Morgan. Not even with those puppy dog eyes you're giving me. We're not getting back together. We're not ready."

"You say that like you know it for a certainty. Like I have no choice."

"A relationship is about what both people want. You can't be in one all by yourself."

I knew that better than anyone. With Sam. With Morgan. Sometimes it had seemed that I was by myself in both relationships. When both of them left me. I understood Sam, but not Morgan.

I went to the living room, and started fiddling with the TV, and DVD player. Trying to ignore Morgan, and the way he was watching me from the doorway. After fixing everything, I took the remote, and settled on the couch. Curled up with my legs under me, I patted the cushion on the couch and looked at Morgan. His face was a mask again. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, or feeling, and it bothered me. Maybe what I said, or wouldn't say, had struck some sort of nerve. Maybe I ruined this.

I watched as he swirled around the contents of his soda in his hand, and looked at the couch. He was thinking, but about what, I couldn't tell. Morgan Grey was nothing if not calculating. He finally walked over, and set his soda on the coffee table. Sitting as close to me as possible, and putting his arm on the back of the couch, I wondered if he even heard what I had told him before. About taking him back. He must have, because he was silent for the entire movie. Silent as I shut off the TV, and looked at him. Silent until we walked to the door.

"Escala, tomorrow night?"

"Sure."

And with that, he was gone. It was almost worse.

* * *

Another movie, at Escala this time. I showed up at ten, like he had asked. I even brought the leftover snacks from the night before.

I had worried the entire day about this meeting. Worried that it might be our last. Worried that I had ruined everything. Worried that I had pushed too far. I was relieved when he greeted me.

Morgan and I made small talk.

"How's work going?"

He laughs, once, before reaching into the popcorn bowl. "It's not."

"What?"

"I'm not working."

That made me turn away from the movie to face him. Morgan looked angry, upset. Something was wrong. "Well, why not?" He gave me a look, like I should know, and then it came back to me. Teddy in the restaurant. "Oh, shit. This is because of me?"

"Not exactly." Morgan hedged, turning his focus back to the movie.

"Don't lie to me, Hotshot. This is because you broke up with me. Teddy is doing this, isn't he?"

"The three of them put me on a mandatory vacation, and took LA away from me. They're all punishing me, it is what it is. My choice, my fault, not yours."

That was unfair, in my opinion. Morgan loved and needed his job. I understood how it felt to be without your purpose. I thought I knew how their business worked when we were in London together. The brothers worked together to solve problems, make deals. Not against each other. "What about your Dad? What did he say?"

"He's somewhat retired. I'm not entirely sure, but he didn't argue with them. He said a vacation wasn't a bad thing, defended me a few times in the board room." Morgan shrugged.

"That blows. I'm sorry." Morgan didn't respond, and we both pretended to watch the movie for a few minutes, quietly.

Until I decided to open my big mouth and ruin everything. "What about Flynn?"

"What about him." Morgan's tone took me off guard. It was angry, offended. He tensed next to me.

"Morgan, I was only trying..."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Oh. I felt myself curl up inside. The knife twisted in a little farther. Morgan wasn't ready to share, that was okay. But why did it feel like he was just trying to keep me out? And why did it hurt so much?

We spent the rest of the movie in silence, again. Silence on my part, because I didn't want to offend him anymore than I already had. The fine line had been crossed, by me, and I was well aware. Morgan was tense after I mentioned Flynn. Maybe it was still fresh in his mind?

Excuses. I kept making excuses for his own silence in my mind. Wishing I just knew why. Wishing he would tell me. I made excuses as I watched the movie end, and we put the snacks away. I made more as he walked me to the door, and we stood there together. The tension was thick, I knew he felt it too. There was no way he couldn't.

My breath caught as he leaned towards me for a minute. Morgan brushed my hair from my shoulder, and gave me a sad smile.

Kiss me. Morgan was going to kiss me. My heart pounded in my chest. Waiting. Why did it always seem like Morgan was the one with the power to do that to me? Why did he have to bother me so much? Why couldn't he just let me back in?

And just when I thought he would, he didn't. Morgan made a face at me, and then took a step away from me. Backed up.

My hands curled into fists, I felt the knife twist in farther. Yes, we were trying to be friends. Yes, I had said that friends don't kiss. But I also wanted him to kiss me goodbye. I wanted some sort of something from him. Affection, maybe? I felt like he didn't care enough to share anything with me. The pain from my heart yelled 'I told you so'. I told you he wouldn't come around. I told you he hadn't really changed. He's still the same old secretive Morgan he was a week ago. The same one that threw you out of Escala.

"Who do you think you are?" I yelled, turning to him."Why do you get to keep quiet, when I've told you everything?"

"I'm not ready yet!" Morgan yelled back. "Damn it, Lexy. I just need more time!"

"How much more? Another week? A month? A year?"

"I don't know!"

My heart was still pounding, but not in a good way. Not anymore. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine!" I shouted, throwing my hands up, moving towards the elevator. "I won't wait forever, Morgan."

"I never said forever."

"You never say anything." I pointed out. "Give me one thing. Anything, I don't even care what it is."

"Anything?" I nodded, and he shook his head. "Give me something back?"

"Fine." I conceded. At least we would get somewhere. Even if it was at a snail's pace. Watching grass grow. Whatever. Progress, I would take it.

"Lauren taught me how to drive. She loved cars, taught me to love them too."

Holy shit, it worked. Morgan actually said something real to me. Granted, he didn't look happy about it, but it was something. "So, she's the one I have to thank for the crazy race car skills?"

"Yes." Morgan smiled. It was a step forward, I was impressed. "Your turn."

Here goes nothing. Might as well put it out there. "Sam and I were engaged."

"No fucking way." Morgan breathed.

"He left when I told him about...you know. Couldn't handle it."

"Bastard."

I moved forward, and put my hand on Morgan's arm. He looked really angry, and I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't his problem. It was mine. "Not really. I understand why he did it. We talked about everything."

"No, I'm the bastard. You don't understand. I left you, just like he left you."

"Hey. Morgan, look at me." I put my arms around his neck, and waited until he sighed and looked down at me. He didn't try and hold me, just let me stay there. "It was two totally different situations. I'm not letting you off the hook, but don't beat yourself up over Sam. He did what he thought was best, just like you were. It's over, and done. 'Kay?"

"Okay."

I hugged him, and he hugged back, finally. "Alright, it's late."

"Yes. Are you sure I can't take you home? Call a cab?"

"I can take the car, Morgan. I'm a big girl, I can handle it." I pressed the button for the elevator and stepped in a minute later. Morgan called to me from the foyer.

"Be careful. You're my only friend."

I smiled as the doors closed. "I wonder why."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N : Two chapters in one day? Oh yea! **

**Love you guys! Thank you so much for reviewing, it makes my day! **

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Lexy.**

Driving home, I went slow. It was early, or late, depending on your viewpoint. Almost two in the morning, with Morgan's car. He had made excuses about my old car for a month, and then gave up. Claiming this car was a gift, he promised to sell my old car and keep the profit. I doubt he did.

Morgan rarely did anything I thought he was going to. There was something amazing about that, and something really aggravating too.

I yawned, and tried to keep my eyes open, and on the road. It was tough. I was tired, but I kept his car on the road, in my lane. Until someone came at me, lights blinding me, and I tried to jerk the wheel away.

Away from the light.

* * *

**Morgan.**

Light blinded me as I opened my eyes, and blinked at the sunshine. I groaned at the headache already starting. At the migraine I would probably end up with. Serves me right for drinking as much as I did after Lexy left.

No sense delaying the inevitable. I got up, and made for the kitchen. Coffee, black. That would fix my problem. That and painkillers.

I found the remote lying on the coffee table, and flicked the TV on, turning the volume down low. The local news was on, not that I ever watched it much. I didn't watch TV very often. It was more of a distraction, background noise, than anything else. Without Oakley or Lexy at Escala, things were quiet, and the silence was unsettling. It bothered me more than I would have liked to admit after Lexy left.

Walking to the bedroom again, I started to get dressed. Get ready to pick Oakley up for the day. One thing about extended mandatory vacation, Oakley and I spent more time together.

Lexy. After last night, I thought maybe this whole friends thing could work. Maybe her idea wasn't nonsense after all. I hadn't been sure what to make of her idea of friends. I had only seen the TV show twice, and really had no friends of my own that weren't after something else. Money, a job, moving up in the world. You name it, they always asked. Sometimes it would be ten minutes after meeting, sometimes it took longer, months even. I thought I knew them, and then they would ask. Lauren hadn't even been my friend. But that was different. It wasn't because she wanted something from me, it was because she wanted nothing to do with me half the time.

Painkillers from the bathroom, and a cup of coffee later, I stood in front of the TV. Watching the reports of theft, and the weather. It wasn't until I started to turn away that I noticed something of importance. Something I recognized. Something that had been mine.

My car. Fuck. I dropped my coffee cup, and felt the world drop out from under me. Moved even closer to inspect the damage of the car from the picture on the TV. No, no, no...

"Alexis."

It was a tangled mess of metal. The windshield was toast, along with the front hood. Crushed up to the driver's side door, which had been ripped off. A truck had been in her lane. Had smashed into her, head on. The drunk driver had walked away without a scratch. The other driver, the reporter informed me, had been taken to the hospital with serious injuries.

"God, Lexy."

What time had she left this morning? How long had it been?

I was already grabbing my keys from the counter, and stabbing the button for the elevator. Thinking it through. Two, she had left around two after the movie was over, what time was it now? I glanced at my phone, selecting the ground floor, and found it was six thirty. Let her be okay. Please.

Did friends see each other at the hospital? Friends be damned, I was going.

"I'm coming, Lex. Just hold on."

* * *

Twenty speeding minutes later, I found the hospital. I had called my father in the car, told him about Lexy. He seemed to understand, even promising my Grandmother would be by to ensure the correct steps were being taken.

The front desk, intimidating to some, but not to me. I marched up to the front, and looked around. I didn't have any time to waste. I knew what was at stake, how much I had to lose, I had been here before.

"Excuse me."

One very young nurse on staff, not even paying attention. Granted, it was early, but I had asked nicely. I raised my voice. "I need some help, over here, please."

Nothing. Too busy on her cell phone. Something hurt in my hand, and I looked down. I was making a fist so hard that my fingernails had made bloody circles in my palm. That was it. No more Mr. Nice Grey.

A nearby clipboard on the desk, that would do perfectly. I picked it up, and then slammed it down as hard as I could on the counter. Dead silence, good. That's what I wanted. The girl turned to look at me, I finally had her attention. Her eyes were wide, even better. I made an effort to pull on the cuffs of my jacket, reigning in my temper to make conversation and not scream at the young woman. Pull it together, Grey, or you won't get anywhere.

"Does anyone fucking work in this place, or do I have to find the damn information myself?"

Third time was the charm. She walked over to the computer and punched a few things in before asking me who I was here to see. I told her.

"Are you a relative?" Fantastic. _Now_ she wanted to be good at her job. Thorough. Fan-fucking-tastic. How do I explain this, now?

"No, I'm..." I think back to our talk. To Lexy.

_"Maybe we should have taken things slower. Maybe we should try being friends first, what do you think?"_

_I laugh, shake my head. She's crazy. "I don't really have any friends."_

I don't, not really. "She's my friend." Only friend. The only true friend I ever had. One that didn't care about who my father was, or how much money I made. One who actually cared about what I liked to wear, and watch on TV. If she wasn't okay, if something serious had happened to her, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Please, let her be alright. I would give anything for her. I would do anything for her, even tell her about Lauren, if that's what it took. Anything. That thought scared, and thrilled me.

"I'm not supposed to release any information to anyone other than relatives."

Fuck my life. Really? Oh, Lexy and I are going to have a talk about 'friends'. "I don't give a shit about your rules. I'll tear this hospital apart trying to find her, just tell me what you know. Don't make me come over this desk, and take the information. I need to know what room Alexis Millen is in, and what her condition is. Now."

The small blonde nurse looks at me, horrified. Like I might really tear the hospital down with my bare hands. Like I'm some sort of animal. Maybe that's how I look, even though I'm trying my very best to stay calm. This is all too familiar for me. This road I'm on, and I hate it. I just want to make sure she's going to be okay. I want to see her, _my_ Alexis. Possessive? Hell yes, I am, when it comes to Lexy. And that's enough for the nurse to give me the sacred information.

Room 230. Intensive Care. I feel my heart sink lower, and rush to the stairs.

* * *

**Lexy.**

Everything hurts. It's hard to breathe. I would cry, if I thought it would help. It doesn't.

I'm tired, and cold, and hurting. But the worst part is how alone I feel, how lost. The nurses, paramedics, doctors, they're all nice, but they don't really care. They just want to make sure I'm breathing correctly, that I'm not going to die from my cracked ribs, or the concussion I ended up with. I'm supposed to stay for observation, whatever that means.

Mostly, I think it means that I have to stay here until they're sure I'm not going to die from something.

I hear the door open, and I look to it, away from the machine I'm hooked to. It's him. Relief floods through me.

"Alexis."

That name. My name, from him. I feel a little better, safer. I didn't expect that. "Morgan?" My voice doesn't sound like my own, but his doesn't sound right either. It's heavy with emotion that he's holding back. He appears next to me, coat jacket in hand. He's breathing heavy, which doesn't seem right. Did he run? No, that can't be right.

"God, look at you." I watch his face, and feel him take my hand. Morgan sits next to me, and I sit up. Wincing. "Are you alright? I can call the nurse..?"

"No, it just hurts."

He nods, once, and then squeezes my hand. Whispers to me. "Tell me what to do."

There's so much in that one sentence. It makes my heart flutter back to life. I have a Grey at my disposal. It seems so strange that he would listen to me. This powerful man that can take control of a board room within seconds. That makes or breaks other companies. That he would ask me for direction, from my hospital bed. It makes me want to cry even more. I lean my head on his shoulder, and close my eyes. Feel the tears well up, before I can stop them. Breathe him in, and wince again at the pain in my chest. It was worth it, though.

I can think of a hundred things that need to be done. Arranged. I need to call my mother and sister, let them know I'm still alive. I need to call about the car, Morgan's car. And out of all of those things, I don't want Morgan to leave me. I don't want him to go. I need him more than I need those things right now. Maybe I was being selfish, but that's what I wanted the most at that moment. I wanted Morgan's comfort, if he would give it to me. "Just stay here with me for a little while. Please? I don't want to be alone." My tiny voice definitely doesn't sound like me. I don't know this other Alexis. The one that needs Morgan now, desperately. The one that wants him to stay more than anything. She's vulnerable, fearful, fragile, and crying quietly.

"I'll stay with you. Don't cry, love. You're okay, now. Shhh." Morgan's arm snakes around my shoulder, and I feel some of his tension drain away. We sit like that for awhile, until I stop crying. Until I bury my face in his shirt. "You should get some rest." He arranges us on the bed, so that my head is on his chest, his arm around me. Morgan's hand strokes my hair, laying it out on his chest. I could argue about sleeping, but I'm too tired. It doesn't seem like a bad thing, to sleep now. With Morgan here, I feel safe. Before I fall asleep, I think that this is not something a friend would do. Too bad I don't care right now to correct him. "Rest, Lex. I'll be here."

* * *

I wake up to whispered voices, my head still on Morgan's chest. I figure I must be dreaming, so I just snuggle closer to him. To his warm side. Morgan's arm tightens around me for a minute.

"What letter?"

"She wrote a letter, Morgan. To Oakley. It's..."

"What? Just spit it out, Dad."

"Beautiful."

A pause then. "Do you have it?"

Another pause, much longer this time. "Yes."

I fall back into an uneasy sleep after that. Dreaming about letters, and friends.

* * *

Morgan isn't next to me when I wake up. It throws me for a minute, to realize I'm just sleeping on a pillow. I sit up, and find him sitting in the chair next to the bed. Making a face at his phone, something he's read must not have made him happy.

I can't help the small smile. Morgan stayed with me, for who knows how long, because I asked him to. Because he's my friend.

I move, and don't feel half as bad as I did before. Although, the room seems a little fuzzy around the edges. This gets Morgan's attention. I watch as he puts his phone down, and sits on the bed next to me.

"You okay? Can I get you anything?"

"Did you drug me?"

He smiles then, and almost laughs. "Not me personally. I think the nurse might have."

"Oh." I try to turn around, and feel dizzy. I hold my head in my hands for a minute, attempting to stop the room from spinning.

"Just relax, Lexy. I got you."

"Very comforting. You get an A plus on that one. I was hoping to use the bathroom, but I don't think I'll make it there without ending up on the floor."

"I said, I got you. Just hold on." His tone is confident, like he knows exactly what to do. Like he's thought of everything before I ever did. Morgan peels my hand away from my head, and leans down to toss it around his neck. Before I know what's happening, his arms are under my legs, holding me up. "See?" He says, smiling down at me while I try to hold on for dear life. "No big deal."

"Thanks." Morgan sets me on the edge of the bathtub, and holds onto my shoulders until I feel steady again. "You could have just called the nurse."

"I'll be right outside the door, okay?"

"Don't listen." I say as he walks away. I hear Morgan's laugh before the door shuts behind him.

Ten minutes later, and I'm back in bed, watching Morgan watch me. He seems like he has something to say, but can't bring himself to do it.

"What is it, Morgan? What's wrong?"

He holds my right hand in both of his, and turns it over, and over. Touching me like he might never see me again. I would kill to get inside of his head sometimes. "I could have lost you. You love _me_ and I almost lost you."

I loved _him_. I knew what he meant. That no one other than family had loved the real him, only the Grey name. "Oh, Hotshot..."

"And you love Oakley." He interrupts, cutting me off. Still looking at my hand. "I read the letter. You love both of us, and I almost lost you. When I saw the car..." Morgan trails off, shaking his head, and releasing my hand. He lets out a shaky breath, and rakes a hand over his face.

"You read the letter." I repeat, quietly. He nods, and finally meets my eyes.

"Yes."

Then he knows how much I care about Oakley. How much I didn't want to leave her.

_"What do I have to do to get you to come back, Lex? Tell me, and I'll do it. Just don't leave again. I can't handle it."_

Morgan's plea from days ago comes back to me. He thought I was lost. I move closer to him, and take his face in my hands so he won't look away. "You didn't lose me. I'm still here. Accidents happen, okay?" Morgan tries to turn his head, but I don't let him. I make my tone more forceful, insistent so he gets it. "Look, Morrie. Look at me, I'm still here. I still love you, and Oakley. I wouldn't leave you like that."

True to his family, Morgan doesn't cry. But I see the worry in his eyes, I see the fear that he thought I might be too far gone. That it might have been too late. I let go of him, and take his hand instead. Let him look away. "I couldn't bear to lose you, Alexis. Most of me died when Lauren did, but I've got it back now, and more. Because of you. Do you understand? I'll do... I can't lose you, too. _I can't_."

Reassurance, that's what he needed. That's what I gave him. "You didn't, and you won't." Then I kissed his cheek, and combed my fingers through his hair for a minute. "You're not angry? About the letter, I mean."

"I know how you feel about Oakley. I couldn't be angry. Not about that."

So he was angry about something else. I knew enough not to pry. I knew enough not to ask, yet. Maybe I would be able to wheedle it out of him later. "Thank you."

"For what?" Morgan gave me a confused look. Like he had no idea what I was talking about.

"For being here. With me." Tugging on his hand, I got him to move closer to me. Until our faces were almost touching. Vulnerable Lexy was still mostly in control. She wanted Morgan.

Morgan's confused look deepened. "Friends don't kiss."

"I love you, Morgan. Kiss me. Please."

I smiled before he took me up on my offer and kissed me senseless. I had almost died, I think I deserved a kiss. Friends, or not.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N : Three chapters in two days? Thanks for the reviews, you guys kept me writing!**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Lexy.**

Someone knocked on the door to my room, and I knew that was it. The end of our moment. I started to pull away from Morgan, but he didn't give in so easily. He wasn't ready to let go.

"Morgan." I breathed, trying to catch my breath again. A quiet warning, a reminder.

"I don't care. One more." I let him lean in, and watched him for a few seconds. Seconds we didn't have. I wanted it as much as he did, to be honest. It felt so natural, so wonderful. I would have let him kiss me forever. The butterflies kicked up again in my stomach, full on this time, as Morgan rubbed his nose against mine, smiling. I smiled back, couldn't help it. Playful, teasing. His blue eyes were lit up. God, how I missed him this way. This was the Morgan I knew, and loved so much. Softly, I barely felt his lips on mine. Then it was over, and he was pulling back. "Come in."

I watched the door open, and didn't expect what I saw.

"Daddy! Lexy!"

"Oakley!" I couldn't help the grin that broke out on my face as she burst in the room. Christian stood in the doorway, and came in the room a little slower. Yea, I was in the hospital. Yea, Morgan's car was probably totaled. Yea, my day sucked. But Oakley was there, and that was worth smiling about.

"Hey, sweetheart." Morgan hugged Oakley to him for a minute, and then pulled her up onto the bed with us. Oakley looked over me, and made a sad face.

She looked up at Morgan. Whispered. "Can I hug her, Daddy?"

"Gently, Oakley. Lexy's still hurting from the accident."

I held out my arms, for reassurance, and held her close to my chest when she sat in my lap instead of Morgan's. Put her arms tentatively around me. I closed my eyes, and sighed. I had missed her, too. As much as I had missed Morgan. If not more. It felt good to hug her again, to have her with me.

I released Oakley, and risked a glance at Christian. He was smiling, the first real emotion I had seen since I had met Morgan. It was something. A sign of something maybe.

"Oh, crap." I sighed, and looked at Morgan. Morgan's family reminded me. "I have to call Aleah. And Mom. Especially Mom."

Morgan flashed me a quick grin while he straightened Oakley's hair. "Done. I already called Aleah, she said she would call your Mom for me."

"How...?" Morgan never ceased to amaze me. He moved forward, and lowered his voice a considerable amount.

"I just did. Don't make a big deal out of it."

I watched him glance from Oakley, to his father. I took the hint. Don't make a big deal in front of my family. Don't, we'll talk about it later. I got it, loud and clear. I was just thankful, grateful, that Morgan had thought of my family. Had thought of me.

Change of subject? "Oakley, I missed you! How is dance? School? Tell me everything, sweetie."

"I missed you too!" She exclaimed, smiling again. "Dance is awesome. Are you coming to my recital? How long are you in the hospital?"

I glanced at Morgan. I had no idea, really. He gave me a quick shrug, shook his head once. "I don't know yet. But I'll be there, don't you worry." I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

"Okay. I hope you get out soon. Uncle Carrey says the food here sucks."

I almost winced at her word choice. I knew what was coming next before Morgan even started his normal rant. He was forever trying to make sure she turned out to be the well spoken young lady she was turning into. Her uncles on the other hand.. "Oakley. Ladies don't say that."

"Uncle Carrey..."

"Isn't a lady." Morgan finished. Oakley crossed her arms, and pouted. "You heard me."

"Yes, Daddy."

"Carrey is here?" I asked, looking from Christian to Morgan. Both nodded. "Is everyone here?"

"Of course." Christian smiled. That's where Morgan got his heartbreaking smile from. The one that tore down barriers, or built them back up. His father. The original Grey, I thought to myself. Ana must have fallen head over heels. I resolved to probe her for information later. Tips, maybe. She lived with all of them for years, she had to know a few things to help me survive.

"They're probably tearing the waiting room up."

"Pacing, you mean?" I murmured to Morgan, and he locked eyes with me. Another Grey trait, poor Ana. "Well, let them in, then."

"The nurse said..."

"You're the Grey's." I said flatly, cutting Morgan off. I knew that better than anyone. These men could get whatever they wanted, with just a smile and wink. It was almost sickening. "Like anyone is going to stop you. I know you better than that. Let your brothers in, Morrie. At least for a few minutes."

Morgan grimaced at his pet name, and stood up. "I hate it when you use that."

"You secretly like it." I teased back, not giving in.

Morgan leaned over the bed, and kissed me again. Taking me by surprise, I blushed. His father, and daughter, were watching us.

"Awww." Oakley gushed, smiling. I don't know how many books we had read together about the princesses finding their price charming. How many movies I had watched with her. The feeling I had now didn't even come close to that. It was better. Morgan wasn't just a prince, he was my friend. And we were going to have a talk about the friend boundaries once I was out of the hospital. I needed to keep it together if we were going to make it work. I was going to have to redraw the line...somewhere.

Morgan smiled back at her, and held out his hand. "Come, Oakley. Let's go get your uncles before they wear a path in the carpet."

I watched the door close behind the two of them, and couldn't help the small sigh. Then I realized Christian and I were alone in the room.

He stood, and locked the door behind Morgan and Oakley. Uh-oh. I resisted the urge to bolt as he turned towards the bed. Alexis Millen doesn't run. Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked down at me. I could handle it, whatever _it_ was.

"I was rude to you when we first me, for that, I should apologize."

Holy shit. Christian Grey was apologizing to me. Quick, somebody get something to record this! I had not expected that.

I tried to wave it off. I mean, it had happened months ago, before he even knew me. Who knows what he thought of me then? I remembered what I had thought about him... "Oh, that's okay..."

"No. It isn't. You weren't just fucking with Morgan. You were loving him."

"I was trying to love him. He's terribly stubborn." I mumbled, twisting my hands in the blanket covering my lap.

"Morgan isn't used to someone trying to care about him. Believe me, I know."

Something in his tone made me believe him. Made me wonder exactly what Ana had went through to catch her King Grey. "We're just friends."

Christian laughed then. "You keep telling yourself that. I saw the way you two look at each other." He sobered for a minute, and the mask was back in place. "Oakley brought the letter to me."

Oh, fuck. That was not what I had intended. I started to explain, but Christian held his hand up to silence me. "I'm not angry, I'm grateful. Oakley cares about you deeply, and that's not easy. She wanted to see you a few nights ago, but I held her off. I wanted to speak with Morgan before I brought her to see you, get a current read on the situation between the two of you. I didn't get a chance. But I can see things are progressing again."

He paused, and looked back to me. Explain, Lexy. "Well. I..." A huge sigh, and a little fidgeting later, I told him. Why did it feel like being in the principals office after I had done something wrong? Did he have that effect on all of his kids? "I told Morgan I loved him, he freaked. Kicked me out of Escala. I wrote the letter so Oakley knew it wasn't her fault. I never wanted her to feel like I left because of her. I know how that feels." I did know. After I had ruined my mother's second marriage, I had felt unwanted. Like I had ruined our perfect, happy family. I never wanted Oakley to believe she was the one that had made me leave. "Then he called me, and I went over, and we agreed to try. As friends. Until Morgan can figure out what he wants. What's going to happen next."

The only reaction I got was Christian's raised eyebrows at the word 'friends'. Why was it such a big deal?

"Well, I know he's speaking with Flynn. Maybe that will help, maybe it won't. I think this," Christian waved towards the hospital bed. "Has woken him up. Time is short."

"My near death experience. _That's_ what you think he needed?" I couldn't help the shock in my voice. I thought maybe something else would have helped. More therapy. More talking. Anything but this.

"A memory. That's what he needed." Christian's firm tone overruled what I was thinking. "The pain of losing Lauren, that's what he needed. Something needed to drive it home."

"Drive what home?"

"The fact that he was being an ass."

Oh. The doorknob twisted, and I heard voices outside the door. Morgan pounded twice on the door, and Christian went to unlock it. "What the hell." Morgan demanded, coming in quickly. Looking from me, to his father. "Why was the door locked?"

"It's nothing, Morgan. Relax." I met his eyes, and glanced meaningfully at Oakley. Not in front of her. Ana led the rest of the family in. Dan, Carrey, Teddy, and someone else I hadn't met, but recognized instantly as Phoebe. She looked like a much younger version of Ana, with grey eyes. Gorgeous was the only word for her.

I sat up in bed, and looked around at the Grey family surrounding my bed. My room was full. Who would have thought I would have the entire family here, for me? It was crazy. Morgan and I weren't even dating anymore.

Each of the brothers took their turn kissing my cheek, and asking how I was. Morgan stayed on my right, the entire time. I saw the glances that passed between all of the brothers. They still weren't on great terms, and I realized they weren't comfortable with each other right now. I watched all four of them interact, and hoped they would end it soon. I hated to see them all on edge with each other, especially over me. It made me uncomfortable, self conscious.

Phoebe stepped forward, and hugged me gently.

"It's so nice to meet you. I've heard great things about Lexy Millen."

"What sort of things?" I looked around at the four Greys, and wondered exactly what they had said.

"From Mom. About your books." Phoebe smiled, and looked at Ana. She looked the most like Ana out of all of the Grey children.

I relaxed a little. "I've heard good things about you too. It's great to finally meet you, Phoebe. I wish the circumstances were a little better..." I shrugged. She laughed a little.

"Grace said you can go home later tonight." Ana interjected, her arm looped around Christian's waist. I didn't know who Grace was, but decided it didn't matter. If she said I could go, I would gladly take her advice and run with it. "As long as you aren't alone, you can go home. She wants someone there to take care of you."

I felt all eyes shift to Morgan. Felt him tense next to me. I looked up to see him watching me, waiting for some sort of confirmation. "I'll call Lee. She'll stay with me, Morgan. It's alright." It was. I didn't want him to feel obligated to stay with me. Aleah would gladly sleep over if I asked her to. "You've done more than enough."

Morgan glanced around the room, and then whispered in my ear. "I'm not leaving you."

"We'll be right outside." Christian announced, pulling Ana and his children towards the door. "Oakley? Come on, sweetie."

I watched her make a face, and then take his hand to go outside. As soon as they closed the door, I turned to Morgan.

"Yes, you are." I said, more forcefully. "Morgan, you need to go home, get some sleep. I'll be fine. You can't be with me 24/7."

"Alexis..."

"I am not asking, Morgan. I'm telling you."

"Then I'll sit outside your house. I'm not leaving you. Not right now. Don't ask me to, Lex." Morgan stepped away from the bed, and shoved his hands in his pockets. I wasn't getting anywhere. Arguing. I didn't want to fight with him over this, but I didn't want to give in either.

"You don't have to."

"No. But I need to."

The sincerity hit me. Hard. Compromise? The best I could come up with. "Okay. But you're staying in the guest bedroom."

"I'll sleep on the damn floor if I have to." I smiled at that. Picturing Morgan Grey sleeping on my bedroom floor. It was almost funny. Almost.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N : This is a huge, groundbreaking chapter for Morgan, guys! Epiphany time? **

**Love all of you! Thanks so much for the reviews! So glad that you get this story, and me. :)**

* * *

**Morgan.**

I pushed the last of the release papers towards Lexy for her to sign. It was almost time to go, almost there. I had sent my mother home to Escala for some of her clothes so she had something else to wear. Her clothes had been ruined, like the car. I was once again reminded of almost losing her. It still stung.

"We'll have to go look at cars together." Lexy frowned at me, holding the pen against the paper. She paused as if she hadn't thought about that.

"Oh." I didn't miss the look. The momentary fear. And then it was gone as she refocused on the forms. Strong Lexy was back in place. I knew that look, the one that said she could conquer the world if she felt like it. Nothing could knock her down when she looked like that. Not even me.

"I'll go with you." Or I could just buy one of the damn things. Or I would just hire her a driver. Anything.

"Maybe." She said, pushing the papers together, and tapping them against the table. That meant she would seriously think about it. That she didn't need my help on this one. Morgan - 0, Lexy-1.

"Ready?"

"I think so."

After a small argument, we had agreed that I would stay with her. At her home. Just in case. I felt better this way, there was no wondering if she was okay when she was in the same room. No worrying that I wouldn't be able to get to her, or that she was alone.

"Alright then." I offered her my arm, and loved the small, shy smile I was rewarded with. "Shall we?"

"I think the drugs have worn off, Morgan."

My hint that she didn't need me, but Lexy took my arm anyway. Morgan-1, Lexy-1. We walked out of the room together, and Lexy handed her paperwork to one of the nurses. I noticed the wheelchair waiting by the door, and forced myself to look away.

Grateful wasn't the word. I was in debt to whatever force gave me another chance with Lexy. I knew what I had almost lost, and I wasn't planning on letting it slip through my fingers again. Ever.

"Okay. Time to go." Lexy rejoined me, but if she noticed the wheelchair, she didn't mention it.

I led us to the elevators, the ones I didn't have time for before, and pressed the button. Lexy wouldn't be taking the stairs, that's for sure. Not if I had anything to say about it.

We waited. And waited. "So."

I tilted my head, and looked at her. Something was up, but I couldn't place it. She wanted to talk, I gathered that much. Maybe it had something to do with my father locking the door before. That really irked me, got on my nerves. Someone was going to explain it, when we were out of this damned place. "So?"

"We have to talk."

I rolled my eyes at her. We boarded the elevator finally with a couple nurses, and a doctor. "Yea, I got that much." I pressed the button for the ground floor, and put my hand on top of hers resting on my arm so she wouldn't pull away.

"Okay, Mr. Sarcastic. Cut it out."

"Will do. Sorry."

The eerie silence crept up on both of us after my half-assed apology. The nurses and doctor were completely silent. The only thing you could hear was the elevators slow descent. It was weird, quiet. We looked at each other. Lexy made a face at me, and I couldn't help it. Couldn't resist. I crossed my eyes at her, and made a fish face. Oakley used to love that when she was about two. We both burst out laughing. More from me than her, because her chest still hurt, I could tell. It took us five floors to sober up, and even then we couldn't keep straight faces if we glanced at each other. I had to look anywhere but at her. Even then, she kept snickering next to me.

I felt like I was sixteen again. Carefree. I couldn't get enough. Addicted. A stupid elevator ride, and I was thinking that no one got me like Lexy. No one ever would. I didn't want anyone else to get me the way she did. I wanted her to make funny faces with me, laugh at my stupid jokes, listen to my rambling about business, watch me pace in my study, fall asleep with me at night, be there in the morning to wake up to, share my dreams with.

Forever.

I wanted it all, and I wanted it with Lexy. The woman laughing next to me, with her warm hand on my arm that she didn't need. That she took, just because it made me happy. The one that came to Escala because she had a feeling, and wouldn't let it go.

To have and to hold. All of that crazy shit I thought I wanted with Kerry, but really had no clue what I was talking about. I had no fucking idea back then. No inkling of how insane, and wonderful love was.

It almost brought me to my knees, and the smile faded instantly. I never realized why men got down on one knee. I had never done that with Kerry, had never thought it was a good idea. I might have for Lauren, for traditions sake, but she never loved me back. Not like this.

I would have begged for Lexy. I would lay my entire world at her feet if she asked it. Things were so different with her. So perfect, even when it wasn't. This was how it should be. This was why men bought rings, and flowers, and said they were sorry. This was why my father retired early.

So much made sense now. A piece of the world clicked into place in my head.

The ground floor. We made it, and the nurses filed past us, dirty looks were thrown our way. Lexy started to laugh again, moved her hand on my arm, and glanced my way when I didn't laugh with her.

"Morgan? What's wrong?"

I looked at her. The woman I loved, and knew she wasn't ready. We weren't ready. I still had to say it. I had to let her know. _Not yet. _You're only friends. Don't ruin this. Play along. I thought about the word, and the smile came back. Hell, I loved her. How was I going to keep this to myself? How, when I wanted to shout it from the top of Escala?

"Nothing, Lex. Just thinking. That's all." I took her hand again, and we exited the elevator. Walked towards the exits. I had Tine waiting, to drive us back. I pushed open the doors for her, and we walked to the SUV waiting alongside the curb. Tine held Lexy's door for her.

"Tine."

"Miss Millen."

"Oh, come on now. I thought we had this straightened out in London, it's Lexy, Tine. That Miss Millen stuff gets old quick."

Lexy let go of my arm, and started for the door. I watched as she paused before she got in. Closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Heard the words she said under her breath, to herself, before she stepped up. "It's just a car. Just a car. So what?" Stepped in, and moved over to sit behind the driver's seat.

I nodded before I followed. "Tine."

"Sir." His answering nod ensured me that he would drive as slow as possible. That he wouldn't push Lexy's limits.

She hadn't said that she was afraid, hadn't confided in me. She didn't need to.

The door shut behind me, Lexy watched as I took my phone out. I was trying for casual, but it wasn't working. I was worried about her. "You okay?"

"So far."

"Just say the word, and we'll stop."

"I'm fine, Morgan. I can't avoid cars forever. It's not practical or realistic."

Her words were even, but I noticed the way she gripped the edge of the seat. I wouldn't argue with her, if she wanted to do this, I was behind her all the way. "Okay then. Tine."

"Sir."

I watched Lexy as Tine started the SUV, and put it in drive. I held her hand as he merged into traffic, and gave into my original impulse ten minutes later. Stretched out in the backseat, I held Lexy on the way. Her eyes closed, she buried her face in my chest and gripped my shirt.

"It'll get easier." I told her as I brushed her hair back. Her hair smelled like flowers, like lavender or something. I couldn't pin it down. "One day it won't even be a big deal anymore. You'll just get in the car and go, and forget anything ever happened."

"I just keep seeing the headlights. I don't want to see them."

"Okay." Kissing her forehead, I shielded her eyes with my arm even more. I would do anything to protect her, my Lexy. Her whispered confession was enough to make me want to pull the car over right there. I settled to try one more thing, knowing she didn't want to give in quite yet. "We'll talk about something else then. Take your mind somewhere else."

"Like what?"

"Anything you want, Lex." Literally. Anything.

"Why do you always wear black?"

Anything but that. Leave it to Lexy to hit my weak spot. "I like it." Honest enough. I did like the color, but Flynn had recently pointed something out that I hadn't noticed before. Something about my wardrobe choice that made me visit Lauren's grave. Guilt.

"Every day? I mean, I like the color blue, but I can't wear it every day."

"Flynn says..." I trailed off, hating this subject. Why did everything always come back to Lauren? Lexy shifted so her head was on my shoulder and she could watch me. Worse. That's what it was until she put her arms around my neck and hugged me to her. She was comforting me this time. "It's a guilt thing, Lex. He said I've been doing it because I'm still in some sick type of mourning for Lauren. Because I still feel guilty. Fucked up, right?"

Lexy pulled back, and met my gaze. I waited for her to say something, accuse me, give her opinion, anything. She didn't.

"I get crazy jealous. Over the stupidest things. I can't help it. Like Kerry, even Lauren sometimes. I shouldn't be like that, but it is what it is. " She shrugged, and gave me a little smile. Lexy was embarrassed over something, over this. "It's just the way I'm made up. If you can suffer through me being jealous, and nosy, I can live with you in black. If you're fucked up, you're _my_ fucked up. I want the good pieces, and the bad. I don't mind. Okay?"

"Okay." And just like that, me, Morgan Cemper fucked up Grey, was Lexy's.

* * *

**Lexy.**

Home.

I was home, and in my own bedroom. Without five Grey siblings trying to dote on me. Not that I didn't love them, I did. But after a few hours, they were all exhausting. Only one. One was plenty. More than enough to handle.

Sprawled in my small bed, covered with my favorite blanket, I could finally sleep easy. I was comfortable, and somewhat drugged. Painkillers were doing their job, and now I could do mine. Rest, like I needed to.

"Lex?" Morgan's whisper brought me back from sleep. I thought I told him to sleep in the guest room. Maybe he decided on the floor after all. I needed to wake up a little more before I yelled at him.

"Hmm?" I turned my head to the sound of his voice, close to the bed. Decided against really waking up yet. Maybe he was just checking on me.

"You sleeping?"

Not anymore, Morgan. Not anymore. "Mmm."

"I _have_ to tell you something. I can't wait any longer." Wait, for what?

I opened my eyes, glancing at the clock then settling them on the beautiful man hovering over me in bed. Morgan was only wearing sweatpants, it was even harder to say no, or yell, when he wasn't wearing a shirt. Why did I have to pick the one with insomnia? The smile on his face made me think twice, made me nervous and happy. Made me want to know what was so important at one in the morning that he _had_ to tell me. He climbed on the bed next to me, and waited for permission. What the hell, I was awake now anyway, right? Might as well talk a little.

"Shoot, Hotshot."

Morgan got even closer, and took my face in his hands. It didn't seem possible, but it was, Morgan's smile got bigger, wider. He was excited about this, adorable.

He looked like he had on the elevator when I made that stupid face at him. Anything to get the serious CEO Morgan to crack a smile. He had lit up, we had laughed like fools. It was even more than I had hoped for. I had bookmarked that stupid face in case I needed it again.

Morgan was lit up like that again, right now. Practically glowing with something.

"I love you, Alexis Millen. More than life itself."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N : Ahhh Cattee, don't die! Here's your update. **

** Enjoy! :)**

* * *

I just stared at Morgan for a minute, trying to figure out if this was a dream. He was definitely looking at me, in bed with me. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I did not see that coming. Any of it. Morgan didn't seem to want me to say anything either. He just watched me, and smiled. Like he was happy just to tell me. Just to know that I knew.

Okay, I'll bite, and ruin our perfect moment. Just leave it to me, Lexy Millen. I got this. "F-friends don't..."

"Fuck the friends." Morgan said playfully, then he kissed me. Like he wanted me to remember it. Like he really did love me. Like he wanted it to last forever.

I wanted that too, but I needed more. I needed reassurance. The last time I put my heart out there for Morgan, I ended up carrying the pieces home by myself. Crying over them.

"Fuck the friends? Morgan..."

"What?"

"This doesn't fix it, Morgan. Okay? We need to keep doing what we're.."

"No." Morgan pulled away from me enough to shake his head. Forceful. Morgan was the one in charge now. "I want to be your friend, but I need to be more, too. You get that, don't you? I'll keep talking to you. Lexy, I'll do whatever it takes to be with you. I'll be your friend if that's what you want, but I want more. I want you. All of you."

Oh, God. He got it. The lightbulb had clicked on somewhere in Morgan's mind, and he understood. He felt like I did. Wanted what I wanted.

Yea, we had issues that needed to be resolved. But we were both willing to work through them now. Morgan was willing to keep working at it. Keep chipping away at the past until it wasn't life or death anymore.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you been waiting to tell me?"

"Since the elevator." Morgan smirked at the memory, so did I. Until I yawned, and proved just how tired I was. "You should sleep." Morgan said, suddenly sober.

"I was trying, until you went all Prince Charming on me." I settled back into bed, and held the covers up for Morgan to climb in. "I know you didn't want to sleep in the guest room."

"Was it too obvious?"

"Just obvious enough." Morgan fixed the covers around us, and I moved closer to him, laying on my back. Morgan on his side held me as close as he could, his nose buried in my hair. I felt safe, and wanted. I felt at home. I rested my palm against his cheek, and sighed. "I love you too, Morgan."

"I'm so glad I told you."

"Me too." I started falling asleep before I knew what was happening. I should have known better.

"Lex?"

"Mmm?"

"Are we together now?"

"I don't know, Morgan. Can we talk about it later?"

"Oh, yea. Sorry."

I smiled, and closed my eyes. "It's okay. Go to sleep now, Morrie." His low chuckle was enough to tell me that he wasn't overly concerned, yet.

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Coffee, breakfast, and painkillers. Just the way I want to start my morning. At least Morgan was still hanging out with me. I looked over at his still bare torso, and couldn't help but smile to myself. Morgan was in my house, and he loved me. I felt warm inside momentarily.

"What is it?" Morgan smiled back at me over his coffee, and I blushed.

Change the subject, Lex. You'll never get anything done today like _that_. "When are the boys going to lift the working ban?"

Morgan snorted and pushed his pancakes around on his plate. "No idea."

"You should ask them."

Morgan shook his head once. "Won't do any good."

"Why not?"

Morgan finally looked up at me, and gripped the fork in his right hand. "Because. They won't listen to me." He was making this the end of the questions, I knew that much from his body language.

Oh. They would listen to me. I wasn't going to be able to get any writing done with Morgan pacing the house. He was too much of a distraction, and I needed to be working. Even if it was just for a few hours. I had a deadline, I had things to do.

"Give me the phone, Morgan."

Morgan didn't hesitate to jump up from his seat at the table, and make for his bag. Now, conveniently located in my bedroom. He came back with the phone, and set it next to my plate. Crossed his arms, and sat across from me to watch.

I scrolled through the numbers, looking for the office number, and snooping just a little. I couldn't help it, Morgan never gave up his phone. He must have been desperate, or positive they wouldn't take him back.

I dialed, and listened to it ring before a female voice came back to me.

"Grey Enterprises."

"Hi, this is Lexy. Who am I speaking with?" My best secretary/ business like voice that said 'don't give me attitude'. I watched Morgan snicker in his seat. He was enjoying this. I flipped him off with a smile. He laughed louder.

"Angela.. "

"Angela, perfect. Could you connect me with Teddy, Dan, and Carrey, please?"

"Just a minute, please."

All three, that way there was no room for dissension. If Teddy didn't want Morgan back, but Carrey did, well, they would need to figure it out. A click, and then the phone was ringing again. Morgan was still watching me, his face a mask again. The phone just kept ringing. I sighed.

"Lexy?"

"Carrey! Hey."

"Sweet! This meeting needed to be over anyway. So glad you saved me." Dan's voice cut through Carrey's excitement, and relief. Something about papers, and the importance of meetings. "Yea, yea. We get it. Hold on, Lex. I'll put you on speaker."

"'Kay." Another click, and then I could hear the three of them talking quietly, papers shuffling. "How's it going?"

"Been better." Teddy's tense voice upset me more than it should have. I had become fond of him in London after watching him drink, and listening to him. "How are you today, Lexy?"

Time to launch it. Time to use my best 'please'. "Oh, I'm okay. I would be much better if you could all do me a huge favor...?" I let it hang there a minute.

"What kind of favor?" Teddy again, speaking for everyone. I could tell he knew something was up. I wouldn't have called for nothing, and the three of them knew me well enough to be able to guess why I was calling.

"It's about Morgan, Teddy. I was wondering.."

"If we would take him back." He finished for me, and then I heard him sigh. "Did he put you up to this?"

Teddy was demanding now, his voice went way past tense. "No. I'm only asking because he's still here, and he needs something to do. I'll never get any writing done if he's just sitting here pacing. And besides, I'm sure you could use some help on that paperwork that Carrey was just complaining about. I'm not saying you have to be best buddies, or bros, but I would be very grateful if you would consider it. Please?"

"This is really what you want?" Carrey asked. Ever the peacemaker, I wasn't sure the older ones would make it without him. I wonder how they ever made it before he was born. Carrey was clearly going to be the leader of the group one day.

"Yes. For me, boys? Please." Morgan raised his eyebrows at me pleading with them. This was the limit to my begging. If they didn't agree, Morgan was on his own. I didn't grovel often, and I wasn't about to make it a habit around the four of them. Any sign of weakness was recorded, remembered with them. I wasn't stupid.

Dan broke the tense silence. "Let's have a vote then." I mouthed the word 'vote' to Morgan, and he gaped at me. I shrugged, waiting. I knew it would require some sort of crazy democratic process. I was just glad that they didn't all have to voice their opinions first. That would have taken all day. "All in favor of granting Lexy's request." A pause. "All against." Another pause. I heard nothing to suggest which side had the most votes, or who voted for what. They must have raised their hands or something.

"We have a winner." Christian's voice surprised me, he was there too, but had kept quiet until now. Go figure. "Lexy, tell Morgan to get ready and come in for a few hours. We need to discuss his last negotiations on the LA deal."

"I will. Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, Lexy."

I hung up with Grey Enterprises, and looked at Morgan. "Vacation is over. Your dad wants you ready to discuss the LA deal ASAP."

"Holy shit. It worked."

"Yup. Better finish, and get going, Mr. Grey. You've got a deal to finish."

Morgan came around the table, and kissed me quickly before heading for the bedroom.

Fifteen minutes later, I was fixing Morgan's tie before he left. Smoothing the collar on his jacket while he watched me. I was stalling, and I knew it, but I didn't care.

"I shouldn't leave you alone."

"Yes, you should. I just bargained with your brothers, and your father, so that you could go back to work. No second guessing now, Hotshot. Go to work."

"Call me, promise?"

"Promise."

Morgan kissed me, and then he was walking down the sidewalk. To the SUV, and Tine waiting to drive him in to work. I watched him go, waving from the door.

I missed him already.

* * *

"No, Lee. A picnic. Isn't it a great idea?"

"I guess if you're twelve."

"Oakley is four."

"Then it's a perfect idea. Which playground?"

I was trying to plan out the whole afternoon, so the three of us could just hang out together. It had been two days since Morgan went back to work, and we hadn't been able to really talk all that much. He was swamped with some sort of paperwork that I had decided not to pry about. I knew that we needed to have that talk. The one where we figured out exactly what was happening, but I wanted some time with Oakley first. I missed her. So, this was the perfect plan. All three of us hanging out, all afternoon. Together.

Now I just had to find the place.

"I'm not sure yet. Got any ideas?"

"How about the one in the park? That's sort of secluded, and there won't be that many kids out there today."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Hey, you didn't forget about that interview, did you? The one we scheduled for New York, like, a year ago?"

Oh, shit... "No, I didn't."

"I can tell that you did just by your tone, young lady. I'll email you the details. Make sure you're available that day, alright?"

"I'll be there."

"Good."

"Great."

I hung up with Aleah, and stared at the computer screen. Pulled my legs up under me in the chair in front of my desk and waited for the email. Call Morgan now and risk bothering him at work? Or wait until later tonight, and risk waking him up?

Screw it. I thought, and shut the computer down. I would go to Grey Enterprises, and surprise him with lunch. I called Tine, and he agreed to drive me there. Awesome.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N : Hey guys. Couldn't resist an update. Thanks for all the reviews! You guys made my day. I love that some of you can predict what is going to happen next... awesome! But don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. Happy Friday! Enjoy. **

**:)**

* * *

I walked to the front doors of the building, and started to pull one open. The face on the other side shocked me enough to leave me standing there. She pushed her hair over her shoulder, and gave me a sickening smile that made me want to hurl all over her expensive shoes. I wanted to take her down right there, but my stomach had sunk to the floor. My breath was gone.

"Oh, hello, Alexis."

Fuck.

"Kerry. What are you doing here." I demanded. It wasn't my building, but screw that. She wasn't invited.

"Probably the same thing you are. Talking to Morgan."

Not if I could help it. "Morgan doesn't want you anymore, Kerry. Don't you remember the last time we met?"

"Like I could forget it." She snapped back. "You pulled that little stunt. Well, not to worry. Morgan _will_ be mine again."

"Bullshit."

And with that, I walked through the doors ahead of her. One of the blonde secretaries stood, and gaped at us for a minute. I registered that Kerry had followed me, but that was it. I was blocking her, for now. Until I could get Morgan to get rid of her.

"Miss..."

"Lexy. Alexis Millen. I need to speak to Morgan, please."

The blonde picked up her phone, and dialed. Waited.

I wanted to die inside. Every second I stood there with Kerry was another awkward moment that I didn't need. Finally, I heard the blonde speaking to someone, and then frowning. She handed the phone over the desk to me.

"Hello?"

"Alexis." A cool voice. Morgan. Something was wrong. He never spoke to me that way. I felt something I hadn't before. Fear.

"Morgan, I.."

"What are you doing here?"

"I just thought..." What had I been thinking again? Oh, yea. That he loves me, and wants to spend time with me. "I brought lunch." I said in a small voice.

A loud sigh, like Morgan was exasperated. I heard voices behind him, so loud I almost didn't catch the whisper. "I'm in the middle of something very serious right now, Lex. I can't."

And then he hung up on me.

I stood holding the phone for a few insane seconds, and then handed it back to the blonde. She nodded knowingly at my stunned face, and placed it back in the receiver.

"Fascinating." Kerry clapped behind me, her voice triumphant. Like she had won some kind of contest.

I wasn't about to let her win, but I knew she had. My pain came back to scream 'I told you so'. Morgan's rejection hurt more than her words ever would.

Stupid me for thinking I could just show up at work without a warning and be invited up to the big office. The boardroom. I was an idiot. A fucking idiot. I set the bag on the counter and pushed it to the secretary. I didn't want it anymore. "Here."

The tears welling up didn't help me walk to the door. I tried to hold them in. I tried to brush them away, but didn't get to them in time. Kerry noticed.

"Aww, she's crying. Isn't that terrible?"

"Fuck you, Kerry." I spun around, and pounced on her. I said through gritted teeth. "He won't see you either. He's too busy for any of us. You might as well go crawl back into whatever hell hole you've been hiding in. Morgan's too busy."

"I don't need an invitation." And with that, Kerry brushed past me, and pushed the elevator button. "I'm not like you."

"No shit, sherlock." I muttered under my breath as I watched her get on the elevator. Just because she got on the elevator didn't mean she would actually gain admittance to the office. I tried consoling myself, but it didn't work. I listened to the doors close behind Kerry, and then brushed more tears away before I found my own way to the opposite doors.

"Lexy?" A set of grey eyes met mine as I pushed the door open to the street. His arms found my shoulders, held me in place. Looked me over."What's happened?"

"Nothing, Teddy. It's none of your concern." I tried to wrestle away from him, but he held on, not letting me go.

"Alexis Millen, what the hell are you doing?" His tone was sad, like he might know what had happened, not angry, or cool like Morgan's had been.

"Trying to go home and cry over nothing. I'm an idiot, Teddy. Let me go home."

Teddy heaved a sigh, and looked up at the building. "Damn my brother, he doesn't know what he's doing. Come on."

"Where are we going?" Teddy put my hand on his arm, much the same way Morgan did, and led me back to the black SUV. I followed him, hoping he would take me home.

"To the cemetery." Teddy's low tone shocked and scared me. He opened the door, and beckoned me inside the car.

Oh. Shit.

Turns out, Teddy wasn't kidding. We really did go to the cemetery. Teddy made a few phone calls on the way. One I knew was directed at his parents, the other must have been to the office, but I didn't hear Morgan's name in the second. Only the first.

"Morgan's an idiot."

Teddy was looking out of the window, so I wasn't sure that was aimed at me. I decided to answer it anyway. "You seem pretty adamant about that, Teddy."

"Yea, well, we aren't all as fortunate as he is."

"What does that mean?" I was focused on watching him, not looking out of the windows. Cars still bothered me a little, but I had it under control for the most part. As long as I wasn't driving at night, I found I was okay.

"It means he has something not many people get, and he's going to lose it. I'm watching him lose it, and I can't take it."

"You mean love."

"I mean you." Oh, Teddy. My heart lurched in my chest, stopped beating for a minute as Teddy's eyes met mine. I loved Morgan, that much I knew. I wasn't attracted to Teddy, but I still felt for him. I still understood what he was trying to say. I loved Teddy like a brother, like I loved Carrey, and Dan, and Aleah. "But, yes. Love, you. Whatever, as Carrey would say."

I cleared my throat, trying to buy myself some time to respond. "Teddy, I thought.."

"About Amber? Yes, me too. After three years of a long distance relationship, she claimed she wanted more suddenly. London was a tipping point for us. We went over the edge, Lex." Teddy shrugged, and his shoulders fell. "Shit happens."

"I'm sorry."

Teddy frowned, and looked at me carefully. "It wasn't your fault. There's nothing to be sorry over. At least she had the presence of mind to tell me she couldn't take my lifestyle before we were married."

"But it must hurt, Teddy. I know it isn't my fault, but I'm still sorry it happened."

"It hurts more that Morgan is fucking this up." Teddy laughed bitterly. "Isn't that terrible? I feel worse about him fucking this up, than I do about my own relationship ending."

"You love Morgan, I get that. You're brothers."

"Some days, I shouldn't." Teddy looked back out the window as we pulled into the cemetery, and took my hand as he helped me out of the car. I found Anastasia, and Phoebe waiting next to their own SUV. Teddy led me down the small road to them, and we all met together. It must have looked like a scene from a mafia movie.

"You've been crying." Ana said, looking from me to Teddy. "Are you sure about this?"

"She should know."

"Yes...but maybe Morgan should be the one..."

"Morgan won't tell her." Phoebe interrupted, shaking her head. "Not all of it, anyway. Just get it over with. Give her the journal."

I looked at Ana, who was glancing down at the book she held in her hands. The leather bound cover was black, and I instantly know who it belonged to. Morgan.

"I'm not sure it's the right thing..." Ana held it to her chest, and sighed, looking at the gravestones on the other side of the road. I wondered where Lauren was buried. Probably here, somewhere.

"Mom, look at her."

Ana resisted, closing her eyes instead. "I know, I know. But I just can't help feeling like it might be different if he tells her instead. If Morgan works through it."

Teddy pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing. "Morgan loves her, Mom. And she loves him. Their story is about to end, unless she knows why Morgan isn't being honest with her. You have the chance to change the ending."

"I really do love him." I said to myself. To the graveyard. As if to prove it by saying it out loud. "Kerry was at the office. Morgan wouldn't let me up, but Kerry took the elevator." I mumbled, looking at Teddy. He frowned again.

"Why wouldn't he let you up?"

I threw my hands in the air, and almost started crying again. Too bad I was beyond tears for the minute. "I don't know. He said he was in the middle of something serious. Whatever that means. I'll tell you what it means. It means I should have stayed home."

Teddy smacked his forehead, and closed his eyes. "God damn it to hell. You interrupted his session with Flynn. That's why."

"I didn't know..."

"I know." Teddy sighed, and started pacing the small road, his hands behind his back. "He's started the sessions at the office during his lunch so he could still make the time, and be back for the meetings. He always locks the door, and refuses any phone calls. I wonder why he took that one. Maybe he's waiting for something important..."

Teddy kept rambling as he turned on his heel and walked away from us. Ana still held the journal, Phoebe shook her head at Teddy. "That's not helping, Ted."

"They all do it." Ana murmured, smiling sadly. "It's a Grey thing. It's in their nature."

"Morgan breaks things." I said quietly, Ana nodded.

"Also a Grey thing. Christian used to break things all the time, he's gotten mellower in his old age. Although..." She trailed off, looking at the journal again. "He did break quite a few glasses throwing them at Morgan a week ago."

"Hmm." Phoebe started pacing to match Teddy. They started shooting ideas at each other, rapid fire. I shook my head at them.

Pacing in a graveyard. This was not the day I had planned.

"I just want what's best for Morgan." Ana whispered next to me, looking at one of the graves. I looked at the name. Lauren. I wondered how many times Morgan had been here. I wondered how often Ana had worried about her son.

"Me too."

"I know you love him, and he loves you. I just don't want his past to ruin you, or him."

"It hasn't yet." I said reassuringly as Ana handed me the dark journal. I had no idea what was inside, and I shouldn't have been so quick to assume. It's weight worried me. The thing was heavy. "Teddy?"

"Yes?"

"I have to go."

"Go? Where?"

Suddenly, I wanted to be away from Grey Enterprises, and the Grey family, and all things Grey. I wanted to read Morgan's journal, and figure out what the hell was going on by myself. I was too close to everything. I needed to step back for a few days. "I have a thing. Interview. That's why I wanted to speak with Morgan." Not really, but a little lie hadn't killed me yet.

"You're awfully vague on the details." Teddy observed, coming closer. He glanced at Phoebe, who was still thinking. "Morgan has to go to LA. He didn't tell you yet."

"Oh. Great." Not. Why didn't he tell me? Morgan said he loved me, but kept things back? Ugh.

"So, you should stay at least until..."

"Until what, Teddy? Until he _doesn't_ tell me what he should? Until Kerry gets her claws back into him?" I looked down at the journal. He didn't say anything. I brushed a hand over the cover, and touched the leather straps tying it together. I had made a promise to Hotshot. Things wouldn't change just because he was Morgan Cemper Grey. I still treated him like Hotshot, but I needed to know the real issues. If we were going to make this work, I wanted to know. The journal held the answers he wouldn't give me. I glanced back at Teddy, he wouldn't meet my eyes. "That's what I thought."

* * *

Five hours later, I was boarding the plane to New York, journal in hand. I hadn't let the thing out of my sight, afraid it might disappear, or that something might happen to it. I shoved my bag in the overhead compartment, and sat in the window seat. It wasn't a private jet, but it would work just fine. Teddy had tried to convince me to use the company jet, I had politely declined. Thanks, but no thanks. I wanted some control over where and when I was going. I held my phone up, and took a picture to send to Aleah, letting her know I boarded the plane. I sent her a quick text, and then turned my phone off. Aleah was supposed to be house sitting for me tonight. She was supposed to let me know if anything happened while I was away. Not that I thought Morgan would show up, but I hoped. Maybe. I turned my attention back to the present. Stared at the journal. Took a deep breath, and opened it. "Here goes nothing."

* * *

**Morgan. **

I sped to Lexy's house, she wasn't answering her phone. I had to explain myself. Show her I wasn't a complete idiot.

A different car greeted me in her driveway. Who did it belong to? Aleah, maybe? Or that Sam?

Only one way to find out. I raced up the sidewalk, phone in hand, and rapped on the door. "Lexy? It's me." No answer. Damn. I knocked again. "Alexis! it's Morgan!"

The door opened. It wasn't Lexy. "Alright, alright. Shit, man." She looked me up and down with shrewd assessing eyes. Then she frowned. "Lexy isn't here."

"Well, where the hell is she?"

Aleah started to open her mouth, and then her phone started ringing. "Hold that thought." She reached in her pocket, and grinned. "She's right here."

She turned the phone so I could see. A picture of Lexy, on some sort of plane, with a fake smile plastered on her face.

And my journal on her lap. Where the fuck did she get that? Shit. If she had that..."Where is she going?"

"Can't tell.."

"Oh, yes you can, Aleah. And you will. Where is she going?" I barged my way into the house, and looked to the counter. Lexy kept everything important on the counter for some weird reason. I had noticed her habit of opening bills and laying them out. I searched for a clue, and found one. A receipt for the plane ticket. New York.

"Why New York?"

"She has an interview."

I turned on her. No, no, no..."What sort of interview."

"We planned it a year ago." Aleah shrugged. "No big deal. Just about the new book."

The new book. Not if the pictures I had been seeing lately were any hint as to what was happening. . People were talking, about Lexy and I. I knew it because I fielded the calls. Lexy didn't. And now I was supposed to be going to LA. Tomorrow.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Everything was going to hell. I ran a hand through my hair, and pulled. "Fuck it all." She had the journal. She could do anything she pleased with it now. Expose me to the tabloids. Ruin me. I would never be taken seriously again. I just got my fucking job back. Now it was all up to Lexy. My entire life was on that plane. All of my secrets, my thoughts, everything.

I really wanted to break something. I settled for storming out of the house, and slamming the door hard enough to shake the house. "Damn it, Lexy."

* * *

I sat in our bedroom at Escala. It was where I felt closest to her, which made no sense. Nothing with Lexy ever made much sense. I waited for her plane to land. Waited until I knew she was probably in the baggage claim somewhere. Then I called her cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Lex. Listen..."

"Shut up, Morgan Cemper Grey." I waited again. Stunned by her outburst. She sounded sad, depressed even. I wanted nothing more than to run to New York and hold her. Instead, I stayed silent. I had planned on this conversation going in an entirely different direction. "You could have told me about Flynn." Her words were stronger after a few seconds.

I closed my hand on the other end of the phone, and looked at the bed. "I know. I'm sorry."

She was silent so long, I had to make sure she was still on the line with me. Her small voice barely made it to me. "I have your journal."

Way to get to the heart of the matter. I wanted to question her about how she had found it. That had been the plan. Now there was only one thing that mattered. Begging that she wouldn't read it. "I know. Lexy, don't read it. Please." Silence. I put my head in my hands, and almost lost it. "God, you read it." I breathed. My world came crashing down. Everything I was working towards with Flynn just went out the fucking window. I had wanted to try and explain it under better circumstances. Obviously that wasn't going to happen.

"I started. I couldn't..."

If she only started there was still some hope. It didn't get bad until the end. If she stopped now we might still have a chance. "Damn, Lexy. Don't read anymore of it."

"This is _you_. _Your_ handwriting. _Your_ words. _You_ wrote this. Do..." She paused, I heard her sigh lightly. "Do you still feel like this, Morgan?"

"Depends." I had written a ton of shit in that thing, but that was years ago. "It's not important. None of it is. I love.."

"Don't you dare say that. Don't _even_." Lexy took a deep breath, and then shouted into the phone. "Don't say you love me, not when you hate yourself!"

I started to shout back at her, but the phone had gone dead in my hands. Lexy had hung up on me. I tried calling again, and again, but she never answered. I settled for leaving her a message about the interview, pleading my case. Pleading that she would understand, and try to forgive me.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N : The story is winding down, but the drama isn't over quite yet. Some of you are pretty serious about Lexy and Teddy, I think that's really interesting. Sorry to disappoint, I have someone lined up for Teddy already!**

**Love your reviews! Thank you! :)**

* * *

**Lexy.**

Oh, this journal. After the plane, I found myself at the hotel Aleah had booked for me. Sitting on the bed, staring at the journal resting on the desk. My phone kept ringing. Morgan wouldn't give it up.

The beginning of the journal had been fairly boring, mostly day to day stuff. Morgan goes to school, Morgan gets in a fight, Morgan gets suspended. His grades are great, but he doesn't have any real friends. He's alone most of the time. Morgan gets tangled up in what is obviously the bad crowd of kids at high school, and ends up sneaking out late at night to parties.

Typical teenager. I think I probably did some of those things myself.

Then, at the last party, a half drunk Morgan stumbled into the wrong room. His whole life changed. A complete one eighty.

I felt for him, his words made me hurt for him. For what he went through. His struggle to keep things good at home, and the way he battled his addiction surprised me. Morgan didn't go down easy. He hated himself for what was happening. Morgan took all the blame. He knew it was wrong, that's why he tried to stop. But it was like escaping quicksand, the more he struggled, the farther in he went. There was only so much he could take.

About two months after the party, I noticed something changed. Morgan was more negative, unhappy. It didn't take long for Morgan to decide he wasn't staying at home, and once he realized it, he felt free. Like the entire weight of Grey Enterprises had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn't want to try and fight it anymore.

He left that night. Took off through the woods, with his backpack. Morgan had been excited at the prospect of leaving, he hadn't even left a note for his parents. He didn't want to be the kid that his family had to keep sheltered because he wasn't like the others. He was different, and he knew it. Morgan didn't want to hurt his family, that's why he left.

That must have killed Ana and Christian.

Morgan had taken the bus somewhere, his plan was simple. Get as far away from his family as he could, and find his drug where he could.

He met Lauren on the bus. She had been sitting next to him, looking through a magazine. She had casually asked him what his plans were in California. Morgan had said he wanted a new life. Lauren had echoed his hope for something different. She was leaving too. They seemed like a natural team.

Lauren had smiled at him.

Morgan thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was the first girl who didn't see him as a Grey. Who saw him as something different, something other than the Morgan he had been his entire life. Lauren had a plan, more complicated than Morgan's. She was going to steal cars, and sell them to support her habit. Morgan hadn't considered that, but it seemed to thrill him. The chase.

Their first job together went to shit. Morgan said it was a disaster. They almost got caught twice, and had to give it up.

Morgan had never felt so alive.

They were living in a crappy motel somewhere, Morgan didn't care where he was living. He was just happy to be able to get what he needed, and quick. At this point, Morgan's entries were sporadic, and unfocused. I was surprised he was even still writing in the thing.

I had read to the point where he was stealing, again, and now I was sitting here staring at the journal. How much more did I want to read? Did I want to know more about Lauren? How far was I willing to go with this?

The answer was laying on the desk. All the way. I loved Morgan, even though he was frustrating, and completely irrational sometimes.

* * *

**Morgan.**

_"Yes." _

_"So, the rumors about you and Morgan Grey are true?"_

_"What have you heard?"_

Lexy's coy smile made Carrey yell behind me. She was playing hardball with the reporter. I wasn't sure who was prouder out of the four of us. "Go Lex! Make her work for it!"

_"The gossip columns are all claiming that he's in a relationship with you. The Grey family released a statement that his intended marriage with Keroline Pace was ruined. People are speculating that you might be the reason for that."_

I watched Lexy grip the arm of her chair, not hard, but enough for me to know she wasn't enjoying it. Her smile stayed in place as she crossed her legs. I thought she took the cheating implication rather well.

_"Was there a question in there?"_

I laughed at that. I knew this was going to be an information hunt. The reporters had been clamoring for another statement for weeks now. But Lexy had insisted that she take it, because she had planned it before she met me. This was supposed to be about her career, her book, not me. Not us. Two days after the phone call, and I still hadn't head a word from her. I kept calling, she kept ignoring. Our relationship was fantastic as long as we weren't talking. I wasn't even sure we had a relationship anymore.

That's why I had cancelled our last meeting of the day. I knew when the interview was being aired, and I didn't want to miss a second of it.

_"Let me phrase it this way. Are you in a committed relationship with Morgan Grey?"_

So, it was out. The question they had been batting around, and back and forth at each other.

"What did you tell her to say?" Teddy's question from across the couch didn't surprise me. I shrugged, and focused back on the TV.

My answer surprised him. "I didn't tell her anything." I was just as clueless as the rest of my family. I had let Lexy do this, because she wanted to. I wasn't about to try and tell her what to say. She could handle herself. I just hoped she kept everything under wraps. My life was in her hands...literally. Let's just say, I was sweating more than usual.

I watched as Lexy smiled wider, and I knew what was coming. I smiled in response. Take her down, Lex.

_"Morgan and I are friends."_

_"Friends? You can't be serious. I've seen the pictures. Morgan Grey isn't just 'friends' with anyone."_

_Lexy hardened, her hand on the table made a fist. It was subtle, but I caught it. The reporter had touched a sore spot, and Lexy wasn't going to let it go. "He's my best friend. Obviously, you don't know him like I do."_

"Oh shit. Lexy just put her in her place." I barely heard Carrey. I was still hearing the words 'best friend' echo. Stupid, I know. We had both said the 'I love you'. But this was different. This was like her owning me in front of the world. It was crazy. Especially because she was reading my journal. She knew, and yet she still owned me.

Then they did something I didn't see coming. The producers, or director, or someone put up a montage of us together on the screen behind the reporter. A picture of us at the restaurant by the park. Her head on my shoulder, my arm around her waist. We weren't looking at the camera. One from the latest charity thing we went to together before we broke up, Lexy's black dress swirling around as I dipped her while we were dancing. She was laughing, and I was smiling, kissing her cheek. And the last, from four days ago, at Grey Enterprises. My hands on her waist, her arms around my neck, we were close. We were watching each other, and rubbing noses before I went in. Eskimo kiss, Lexy called it. I loved her smile when I did that.

These people were playing dirty.

_"Do you go to the park together often? I think this picture is very 'Pretty Woman', don't you?"_

Lexy blinked once, and then I saw her claws come out. Saw strong Lexy decide to fight fire with fire.

_"Are you calling me a prostitute? Because I don't appreciate that. Morgan's friendship means more to me than his money, thank you very much."_

_"Were you ever in a relationship with Morgan Grey?"_

_"I was once upon a time. After Kerry, I met him, and we went out a few times. It's not that big of a deal. We're not getting back together. We're just friends now."_

_"You would have been a huge power couple. I can't imagine why it didn't work out. A successful author like yourself, and one of the Grey brothers, set to inherit an empire. Whatever went wrong?"_

Lexy looked away from the reporter, into the camera. I stood up, and moved closer to the TV. She was talking to me.

_"They say the sky is the limit, but that's not true. The limit is where you set it. Morgan and I just have different limits than everyone else. When you're on top of the world, the sky is your point of view. We're similar, because we're working on reaching for the stars. We both want what we can't have." Lexy laughed, and shook her head at the floor. "No pressure, right?"_

I smiled, that was from my journal. Lexy was quoting me. "No pressure, Lex."

"Morrie, we can't see."

"Shut it Carrey. Morgan's having a moment."

_"So that's what went wrong? The pressure of fame was too much for both of you?"_

_Lexy frowned. "I didn't say that. I said that we're similar because of the pressure. We didn't work out because ...we just didn't."_

Lexy shifted in her chair, and looked at the camera again, crossed her eyes momentarily, and smiled. "Holy fuck." I breathed. My heart in my throat. I didn't realize that I had doubted her before. Why did I doubt her? "She still loves me!"

"How do you know?" Carrey, Dan, and Teddy were up on their feet immediately. Moving towards the TV.

"Watch." I commanded, and crossed my arms. Hoping she would do it again.

_"Morgan is a great guy. He's his own person. He's also very busy. I get that. Sometimes things just don't work."_

This time she stuck her tongue out for a minute, and almost laughed. I jumped and yelled, pointed at Lexy.

"See that! That's for me!"

"Looks like she's mental to me." Dan said, leaning in closer.

"I think you're overreacting." Carrey said, shaking his head.

"We make stupid faces. In the elevator the day she left the hospital. I knew I loved her that day, when she made that face. She's doing it now, for me. It's a sign, I know it is."

_"Is he in New York with you?"_

_"I think we both know he's in LA, working on a very large business deal. __Don't you have anything more interesting to ask me? Maybe something about my new book. Or, I don't know, what size Morgan's jeans are? Go on, try me. He's a thirty two. Now you'll ask me what he eats for breakfast, or how he likes his_ _coffee."_

Lexy winked at the camera, and I lit up again. Shook my head. She had the chance to ruin me, and yet she was signaling to me that she loved me. Lexy had taken my bad side, and accepted it. I missed her. Screw the journal, I just wanted her back.

My brothers were laughing hysterically behind me. I turned to look at them, and found Teddy almost in tears laughing so hard. "Oh shit, man. We should set her up for interviews more often."

"She has you pegged Morgan." Dan laughed, and held his sides.

He had no idea how much Lexy got me. I wasn't about to tell him, either. "Yea, I didn't even tell her my size. She must have guessed."

"Good fucking guess."

* * *

**Lexy.**

That fucking woman had some nerve. Talking about Morgan like that. Like he was some sort of pawn in my game. Twisting my words so it looked like I was some sort of hooker looking to score.

Bullshit. I loved that man. I loved him for Hotshot, not for his money, or his pull at Grey Enterprises, or his stupid journal. There was no game to play. If we hadn't been on live TV, I might have decked her just for that.

I kept my cool, because I knew Morgan was watching, and there was no way he would approve of that, especially about him. That would not have gone over well. So, I had kept my temper under wraps, for the most part.

I had also kept the journal to myself, stuffed in the bottom of my bag. Morgan's secrets were his, and I wasn't going to be the one to spill them to the world. He had enough to worry about. The journal had given me some insight as to why he was the way he was. Why he did the things he did. And why he loved me so much. I had cried over the journal, and laughed with it. I felt like I knew Morgan way better now. On a deeper level. That's why I made those stupid faces on live TV.

Because I loved Hotshot, and I wasn't giving up on him.

Not after the end of that journal.

I sat on the plane, and dialed. This was it. I had already made all the arrangements. If Morgan said 'no', I was screwed.

"Lexy?"

I closed my eyes. I had missed him. "Hey, Morgan."

"Hey, I saw your interview."

"I'm coming to LA."

"You're what? When?" I heard the panic, and excitement. There was hope for us yet.

"Now."

"Now. Okay, Lexy. Look..."

"It doesn't matter, alright? We'll talk more when I get there."

"No. I have to say this. Now."

"Morgan..."

"I'm sorry, Lex. I'm an idiot. I should have told you about Flynn. I should have told you that Flynn asked me to ask Kerry in for our last session. I just thought it would upset you. I needed closure, and I got it. That's what it was about. It wasn't about not loving you, or wanting Kerry. I'm trying to get past it for you. Because I love _you_, Lex."

The roller coaster ride that was my relationship with Morgan slowed down a little now. Almost came to a stop. There was a reason Kerry had been in the office, and instead of listening to Morgan, I had jumped to a conclusion I didn't like. "Oh."

"Yea."

The pilot came over the system, and the seat belt light came on. "Morgan, I have to go now, okay? I'll see you in LA."

"Say it." I knew what he meant. And the fact that he sounded like he was begging helped his cause. I said it because he said it. I said it because it was true.

"Love you, Morgan."

"Laters, baby."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N : Hey guys...sorry I haven't updated in almost a week! School has been crazy. ****Plus, I was sorta stuck on this chapter. Not really my best. **

**Anyway, this is for Rachel, because she just couldn't wait anymore! Thank you for all of the reviews, and PMs! They mean so much to me, you don't even know. **

**Enjoy. :)**

* * *

**Morgan.**

I dropped the phone, and turned to look at my brothers.

"We have a problem."

"What sort of problem?" Dan asked. He seemed unaware of my current state of distress. Of the amazing problem that was headed toward me on the plane with my journal. What was I going to do? Could I fix everything?

"Lexy is on a plane. To LA."

"Now!?" Dan shouted standing up.

"Yea! Now!" Teddy said looking at me, shaking his head. "Morgan wouldn't look like that if she hadn't just called from the plane."

"Oh, that reminds me." I stepped towards Teddy, and proceeded to punch him. "That's for giving Lexy my journal, you asshole."

Teddy held a hand to his face, and started for me, then thought better of it. "You're the idiot. You should have told her everything to begin with! That would have solved everything. Instead you keep secrets, and avoid her questions. You're the asshole."

"You know why I didn't just tell her everything. It's not that simple, Ted!"

"It could have been!"

"Okay, alright." Carrey stepped between us, and held out his hands. "You both have valid points, but right now is not the time. Lexy is going to be here in a few hours. Right?" I nodded. "Alright."

Carrey put his hands on his hips, and we all looked around the hotel room. "Where is she going to stay?"

"I didn't get to ask."

"Mm. I wouldn't bet on her staying here."

"Why not?" Carrey was suddenly the expert on women? When the hell did that happen? He looked at me like I was new to the whole concept.

"Because she's pissed at you, that's why."

I thought about her phone call. About the way she had taken control. She wasn't happy, but I didn't think she was pissed either. "No, I don't think so."

"You say that now, but I bet she is. I bet when she lands you're going to have another fight. This isn't over yet. She can stay in my room if she wants. I haven't really unpacked all that much yet."

"Fine."

"Now. We need to talk about how you're going to fix this." Carrey looked from me, to Teddy. Danced a finger between us. "Apologize to each other."

We both started talking at once. Carrey held up his hands. "Just do it, and shut up. Do it for Lexy."

"I'm sorry for hitting you."

"I'm sorry for giving Lexy your journal without consulting with you."

"Fine. Now. Morgan, you should pick her up. We can hold down the fort at the office until you get things ironed out, but don't take all day tomorrow with it. Dan. Teddy. Come on, let's go."

* * *

I watched for her at the bottom of the steps. Waited, watched everyone else. I knew her plane had made it safely, figured she was just trying to find her way around the terminal.

It was easy to get lost. I had managed to get turned around twice now. Maybe it was because I wasn't focused on where I was going, but what I was going to find. Would this be it? Would we put everything aside, and finally work it all out? I wanted nothing more. I wanted Lexy to accept, and love me the way I loved her. The signs were there, I just hoped I wasn't misreading them.

Then she was at the top of the steps, smiling down at me. Holding onto the journal, and her bag. I waved, and met her at the bottom. Swept her off her feet, and spun her around while she laughed. It felt good to have her in my arms again, to feel her holding me as well. I wanted nothing more than to hold her forever.

Lexy tried to get out of my grip, and yelled halfheartedly, laughing. "Morgan! Put me down!"

* * *

**Lexy. **

His smile almost killed me, his next words really did. If I had been nervous before, I was ten times that now.

"Never! I'm never letting you out of my sight again." He laughed, and set me back on my feet. I just looked at him. How could this Morgan be the same man I had read about? The same man in the journal? No, he wasn't. He was more now. His life didn't revolve around drugs, it revolved around work, and Oakley. Morgan had responsibilities now. When he wrote in the journal, he had still been a boy, now he was a man.

He watched me, holding me close. Then he tilted his head. "Why are you looking at me like that, Lex?"

"Like what?" I hadn't been aware that I was doing anything that he could see. Turns out my mask wasn't as effective as his.

Morgan looked at the journal I had clutched to my chest in my right hand. Kept his eyes there while he spoke. "Like you haven't seen me before. Like I'm something brand new."

I thought maybe he was. Maybe we both were. Things had changed so much since that day we first met. I looked up at him, and waited until he met my eyes. I touched his cheek with my free hand, and smiled. "I know you, Morgan."

"Do you? Really?"

It was hard for me to hear his voice break. It was even harder to see him doubt what I felt. Because of his past. I moved my hand to his hair, and ran my fingers through it. "Really, Hotshot. I know it wasn't your fault."

Lauren had gone over the edge on her own, he didn't push her. It wasn't his fault. Oakley should have been enough to keep her grounded, but she wasn't. Lauren had wanted more, and she had wanted her freedom. Morgan wasn't part of that equation. When he said he loved her, she saw it as the last straw. The last thing to keep her under his control. I understood her fierce need for independence, but I didn't understand how she couldn't see Morgan for what he really was.

"It is my fault." Morgan hung his head, wouldn't look at me.

"You did everything for her, for Oakley. The fact that you went back to your parents for help says it all, Morgan. It takes a real man to fess up to his mistakes, and that's what you did when you went back. It isn't your fault that Lauren couldn't handle it. You did what you had to, for Oakley. For your baby. I would have understood, Morgan. I do understand. You could have told me. You could have been completely honest with me, I wish you would have been."

"I should have told you, I know that. I just..."

"Thought it would chase me away. You thought I couldn't handle it. Just like Lauren." That was worse. He took a step back, away from me, looked at the floor. I had hit it, right where he hurt the most. I reached for him, but he shook his head."Oh, Morgan."

"No, you're right. Teddy's right, I'm an idiot. I just know what it's like when someone can't understand or cope with what happened. It's made me more...cautious and reserved. I'm trying to get through it. Flynn's working on 'openness'. Whatever the hell that means."

And that's why I was willing to give him another chance. Morgan was trying something different. Something out of his comfort zone, for me. I tilted his face softly. Smiled at him. "I know you, Runaway."

Morgan smiled back. "Wow. I haven't heard someone call me that in.."

"Years." I held the journal up. Couldn't help the smirk on my face. "Legends? Really?"

He shrugged, and watched the journal. "Honesty sucks. Two car thieves that made it big. They had to call us something. Lauren and I both ran away, simple enough, right? Plus, she ran all the red lights. The nickname was sort of inevitable."

"Hmmm."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You've got that look on your face."

"What look?"

"The one where you're planning something."

I looked from Morgan, to the book in my hand, to my bag on his shoulder. "I...I did something."

"Did what."

"I um..."

"Alexis."

I winced at my full name. Morgan knew something was up, but I was really unsure how to tell him the right way. "Let's go back to the hotel, and I'll show you. It's easier to show you. Trust me, okay?"

He hesitated for a minute, thought it through. Nodded. "I trust you."

"Good, let's go then."

* * *

**Morgan. **

I waited while Lexy set up her laptop. I was actually afraid of what was happening. I had been so happy to hear her take me back, it almost overshadowed whatever she was doing.

Until we came back to the hotel, and she sat me in a chair. She had been silent ever since, not saying a single word as she moved around the room.

I was scared shitless.

"Okay. All done." Lexy stood up from the desk, and walked over to the chair where I was sitting. "Come on, I'll show you."

I took her hand, and let her lead me to the chair she had sat in before. She put her hands on my shoulders, and applied pressure until I sat down.

There was a picture of both of us on the screen, Lexy's arms around my neck. I was smiling at her, she was looking at the camera. Nice picture. "This is what you wanted to show me?" I looked at her.

"No, of course not." Lexy pulled another chair over to the desk, and fidgeted with her hands after she sat down. "I...read your journal in New York."

I decided not to interrupt, or try to pry the information out of her even though I was dying to find out. Lexy was obviously nervous about whatever was happening. Better to let her say it in her own time.

"I read it, twice." She paused to smile at me, then dropped her hands. "After that, I needed to do something. I had this idea..." She paused to look at me, and then she looked at the computer. "Promise you won't be angry with me."

Shit, this was bad, whatever it was. But if I ever wanted to know, I was going to have to play along. Reassure her. "I promise. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad."

Lexy barely smiled, and opened something on the computer. I watched the screen as she opened something something called 'Book One : Cemper Series'. I felt the world drop out from under me when I saw my name in the writing. I looked at the page count. Almost fell out of my chair.

I swallowed, hard, before trying to talk. Kept my eyes on the screen. "You wrote a book."

"I couldn't stop."

Lexy laughed nervously. It sounded like some sort of compulsion. What did that mean? "This isn't funny anymore, Lex."

"I didn't mean for it to be funny." She started to stand, but I caught her arm, and sat her back down. I met her eyes for the first time since I saw the words on the screen. The ones that were about me.

The interview had been one thing, this was another. This was my life we were talking about here. I thought about the NDA, wondered what it really meant. I was sure it was concrete enough to stop this. My mother would never publish it anyway, but I was sure a few other publishers would have different ideas if they ever got their hands on it. I couldn't let that happen. I didn't want to pull paperwork on Lexy, but she needed to understand this wasn't realistic.

"I don't want this. Destroy it, Lexy."

She looked at the computer, away from me. "I won't publish it, but I'm not going to kill it either."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I wrote it for you, you idiot! It was stuck in my head. All of it, I just...I had to write it, and I won't erase everything. Not until you read it."

Because she wrote it for me. Because she put her heart and soul in every book, or at least that's what my mother had told me. And she took the time to write one about me. She had done it for me, and I was being a jackass.

"I'm sorry, Lexy. I just...I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll read it." Lexy reached into her bag, and brought out a black binder. Set it in my hands. "That's all I want, Morgan."

I sighed, and looked at the black binder. Lexy was so organized. Of course she had the presence of mind to pick the color to match. "Anything for you."

"Thank you."

Lexy hugged me the best she could while I was sitting, and then walked away. I held the binder, and stood up. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Out." She called over her shoulder, not slowing her walk to the bedroom.

"Why?"

"Give you some time to yourself."

Time to myself was the last thing I wanted. Time with Lexy was the first. I set the binder on the bed, and watched her start to unpack a few things. "You don't have to go."

"I already promised Teddy, Dan, and Carrey that I would go out with them tonight."

"I'll go with.." I stopped when Lexy made a face. It didn't take much to read her mind, loud and clear. I got the message. "I'll stay here."


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N : Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long, school had been sort of crazy the last week. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it. **

**So, I've loosely based Lexy's book on something I read, maybe you've read it too? It's called Seven Years to Sin, by Sylvia Day. Awesome book, if you haven't already read it. Anywho, Lexy took that time period, and made new characters based on Morgan, Oakley, Lauren, and herself.**

**I think this is the last chapter, but it isn't the end of Lexy and Morgan! They will be making appearances as needed in the other stories! **

**I'm also putting up the first chapter of Fire today, which is Carrey's story. Thank you for following, and reviewing. This story was always for you! Enjoy. :)**

* * *

"It's probably better that way." Lexy smiled at me.

I must have done something right, but that's not how it felt. It felt like I was being punished somehow. Maybe I deserved it after everything. I flopped back on the bed, and held the binder in front of me. "Probably not a quick read..."

I heard Lexy still for a minute in searching her bag, and turn back to me. "Has anything I've ever written been a 'quick read'?"

I opened the binder to a random page in the middle, and sat up. Read a couple lines, and couldn't help the question. This was not the book I had been expecting. In fact, it was completely different. Surprising, actually.

"We're on a ship?"

"You can't start in the middle like that!" Lexy almost pounced on the binder, snatching it out of my hands. She straightened the pages, and smirked at me, still clinging to being angry. Sort of. "You have to read it properly!"

"Oh, sorry." I tried not to laugh at how protective she was of the book. This was something very serious, not funny at all. Not. Funny.

"What?"

I couldn't help laughing at her expense. Just a little. "I just...didn't see that coming."

"That's because you didn't start at the beginning. That's how normal people start to read a book. They open it, like this..." Lexy demonstrated, sitting next to me. "Then, they read the first few pages." She flicked through the introduction, and then showed me the index. "You just had to pick that chapter, didn't you?"

"Lexy. What is this book really about?"

With that, Lexy snapped the binder closed, and handed it to me. Called over her shoulder as she left the room. "Just read it. I can't explain it until you read the entire thing."

The door opened and closed, I gathered that Lexy had left me alone. This was pretty important to her. I glanced at the binder, I decided to try and not fuck it up.

"Looks like it's just you and me tonight."

Let's just say, this was not how I pictured our first night together in LA.

* * *

**Lexy. **

"You what?!"

"Teddy, don't yell at her." Carrey came to sit next to me, and put his hand on my back. Ten minutes into dinner, and we were already at this point. "She's just trying to talk to us."

"I wrote a book. It's not that big of a deal."

Dan laughed for a few seconds. "Actually, around here, it is. Our mom happens to be a publisher. We know what it means to write a book. Especially as quickly as you did."

"It wasn't.."

"Yes it was. That must have been record time." Teddy cut me off, completely. "Dad is going to have a fit."

"I haven't sent it anywhere. I just gave the only copy to Morgan, and the only other file is on my computer. With Morgan."

"We know you aren't trying to go public with that sort of thing. It's just that we've been protecting Oakley from the press for a really long time. You know the saying 'Old habits die hard'? That's it."

Carrey's attempt at calming us all worked. A bit. Dinner was siting in front of all four of us, the waitress had brought it out quickly. I didn't blame her, I would have been on top of my game too around these three. Unfortunately, I didn't feel like eating. I was still too nervous about Morgan actually reading the book. Turns out I should have been worried about how his brothers would take it.

"Does it have Oakley in it?" Teddy gripped his brandy.

"I've changed the names, and she's only a minor character. It's not like that, really. I didn't just copy his journal. After Morgan reads it, I'll let you borrow it." I glanced around the table, and received nods from each brother. If the book passed Morgan's standards, it was probably safe.

After the talk about the book, Dan attempted to move conversation towards work. That was better, easier for all of us. I found out about the deal at hand, and the negotiations. Everything seemed to be right on track. Teddy thought we could leave by the end of the week, at least. I would only have about two days in LA if all went as planned.

* * *

One in the morning, and I was waiting for the verdict. I had come back to the room to find Morgan waiting for me. The binder was laying on the desk. I walked into the room and sat on the bed. Took off my shoes, and my coat. Watched, waited. I felt like there was an elephant in the room. Or maybe a bomb.

Bomb was definitely more appropriate. Bombs could explode if they weren't handled properly. If the right measures and steps weren't taken to ensure that it was safe and stable.

I found myself wondering if Morgan was stable, or if he was just waiting to explode. I wished I had brought Carrey in with me, like he had wanted. He might have broken the tension.

I went for it. Jumped off the cliff. Cut the wire. "So."

"How was dinner?"

Oh. Something inside of me wanted to scream. I kept it inside. "Fine. The boys all seem to think it was a terrible idea."

"What was?"

I looked at Morgan then. I had been avoiding his eyes since I came in the room. He was smirking at me. I sort of wanted to hit him. I rolled my eyes instead.

"Like you have no idea what I'm talking about."

Silence then. I squirmed under his gaze, trying to relax. It wasn't working. Morgan let me suffer for a few more seconds, and then he said it.

"Perfect."

"Really? You think so?" I didn't want to jump all over him at once, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted him to like it so much, it hurt.

"It's you and me, how could it not be? I should have..." Morgan trailed off, then he turned smiling at me. "I should have known better. I should have trusted you more."

Morgan walked to the desk, and picked up the book. Brought it to me, and placed it in my hands. "You have to know someone pretty well to write a book about them. You have to know them inside and out. Capture everything about your character. Mom taught me that. That's why she hates biographies, because most of the time the person involved doesn't understand how someone else could see them in a different light. It brings more arguments to her office. But you..." I twisted my hands together, I could barely keep them to myself. I wished he would just spit it out already. Wished we could just get to the part where we made up already. "You're right. You know me. You saw me for me, not for the Morgan that everyone else sees. I've shown you_ everything,_ and you're still here. When I asked you to promise, I never imagined it would work. I never thought. I hoped, but I didn't know. Didn't know it would be like this. I wanted to be alone for a long time. I wanted to be numb inside. But I don't anymore, Lexy."

I wanted to say I told him. I wanted to yell that I always knew him. The real him. Hotshot.

All I could do was smile up at him. I dropped the binder to the floor, and reached up for him. Reached for my Morgan.

The most amazing thing happened. Morgan smiled back at me, and reached back.

It felt right. It felt perfect to have him in my arms again. It's all I wanted. I closed my eyes, and held him tighter. I never wanted to let go. "I love you, Morgan Grey."

I felt him laugh under my hands. I wondered what was so funny as a time like this. "Really? I had no idea."

"Don't be an ass." I drew back a little to see his face, he was trying not to laugh. "Say it."

Morgan smiled, and then sobered as he brushed my hair away from my face. "I love you too, Lexy. I'll always love you. I'll work to prove it to you."

I almost asked what he meant by that, but it was too late. He was kissing me, and I was caught up in making up with him.

* * *

**Morgan. **

Home. Finally.

Things were actually normal now, or as close to normal as they could be. Lexy had moved back in after the trip to LA. We didn't even need to talk about it. It had just happened.

I had taken the book to my mother, and placed it in her capable hands. Asked her to make it work, to have it published. I would never forget the look on Lexy's face when I showed her the first copy. The way she had started crying, and laughing. Crying in a good way, she had said. When I had handed it over, I didn't know what would happen. What the cover would look like. When it came back in a black cover with a key on it, I was shocked. I had sat in our bedroom looking at the cover for a long time. And the title. My mother had made up a title, one she thought was appropriate. Lexy had laughed about that part. Still laughed when we passed an ad for her new romance book.

Hotshot.

"What a crazy name for a book." She always said that, and shook her head. We always paused, and looked together. It felt like a sort of freedom for me. Everything was soon to be out in the open, even if it was half fiction. Lexy had done that for me. Even if it was part of her career now, she had done it for me. "I had such a hard time writing before." She said to me, more than once. Reminding me that it was my fault. "I started writing again after I met you. It's all on you, Hotshot."

I took the blame willingly. If it meant she was happy, and writing up until all hours of the night, I was happy too. If I had to go to the ends of the earth to make her smile, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Of all the things we hadn't needed to talk about, we did talk about something important. More children.

Lexy knew I wanted more kids, knew it from the very first time she saw Oakley and I together. I finally got her to open up to me about what was wrong. About her problem. It was purely medical, from what I understood. Something about not ovulating, or making eggs regularly. I had tried to listen to every word, but it was apparently complicated. I had been too focused on comforting Lexy while she let it all out, explained everything. There was a very, very low chance of her ever getting pregnant. Lexy had been upset about it, she felt like she was damning me to some sort of future I didn't want. I had very plainly told her I wanted a future with her, no matter the consequences. I wasn't worried about more kids right now anyway, and it wasn't like we didn't have the rest of our lives to consider it. Besides, I had said, there were things like adoption, surrogates, and fertility specialists. I promised her if we decided we wanted to have children, that we would figure it out. Together. I wasn't about to give her up just because of a fluke.

I took a deep breath, and tried not to let the nerves ruin this. The last couple weeks at home had been heaven on earth for me. It had made me question everything that I wanted before Lexy. The idea that I wanted to be alone, forever. It seemed stupid now, to want something like that. To want to punish myself.

I lay awake the night before last, and couldn't take it anymore. I had called my brothers, and my father, and asked for their help. Asked for their plans for the next day. Arranged everything.

"What are we doing here?" Carrey had said. "Is it Mom's birthday or something? Did I miss it?"

I stood in front of all of them, in the middle of the jewelry store. I had called to have it cleared out, just for the five of us today. I wanted to be able to think clearly, and that involved peace and quiet.

"It isn't your mother's birthday, Carrey." My father had smiled knowingly at me then, and shook his head. "Your brother is trying to ask our permission to marry Alexis by bringing us here. He's going all 'hearts and flowers' on us."

And then a million questions. About when, and where. About the ring, and the timing. And if I was 'sure'. Positive. Over and over again. I reassured them all that I wanted nothing more than to spend forever with Lexy. After, we had taken our time looking at the rings.

A very long time. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on what Lexy would like, and what she would definitely _not_ like. I had wanted it to be perfect, just what she would have wanted. Three hours later, we were in agreement on the two carat, princess cut ring.

Oakley was holding the ring box now, waiting with me.

"Ready Daddy?"

Oakley and I were waiting by the lake at my parents home. She was being incredibly patient, not even pulling on the beautiful lacy white dress my mother had bought just for the occasion. I squeezed her hand, and looked down. She was playing with the black velvet box. I was glad she was the one holding it. I wouldn't be so composed holding that thing. I could barely hold it at the store. The thing that symbolized my world right now. "I am if you are, Oakley."

"I don't want to mess it up."

I knelt next to her, watched her open the box that contained the engagement ring, and then close it again. I took her hands in one of mine, and lifted her face so she would look at me. "Honey, you could never mess it up. You need to keep it together. For me, okay? I really need your help on this one."

"What if she says 'no'? What happens then?"

"You're really worried about that, aren't you?" It was all over her face. I wondered how worried I looked. How nervous I looked right about now. Oakley must have known.

"Yes. I don't want to screw it all up. I don't want her to say no."

I glanced around the yard. I had help arranging the candles, and the flowers. My mother had said it looked very fairy tale, whatever that meant. I had wanted it to look like something beautiful, and wonderful. It didn't seem like enough for Lexy. I didn't seem like enough. "This is Lexy's decision. We can't make it for her. If she declines, it isn't because of anything you did, Oakley. She might not be ready yet, that's all."

Oakley smiled, and I stood up again. Looked over the water and held Oakley's hand in mine.

Our romance. Courtship. Dating. Whatever. It had been short, less than six months. Maybe I was springing this too soon, but it's all I wanted. All I could think about.

Spending forever with Lexy, and Oakley. The three of us. A family. That's what I wanted.

I just hope she wanted it too.

I heard the door open from the terrace, and Oakley and I turned together. Lexy was standing just outside the door, taking everything in. I smiled up at her. Oakley waved next to me. Lexy laughed, and waved back. Then my parents were on the terrace watching us, and Lexy was descending the steps.

Oakley squeezed my hand, and I knelt next to her again. "Do you remember what to say, Daddy?"

I had rehearsed it a hundred times that day alone, but looking at Lexy, I couldn't remember any of it. I had given speeches to some of the most important people in the world, and right now I couldn't remember two words of the speech I had written to proclaim my love and ask Lexy to marry me. I swallowed as she walked across the grass towards us. "Not really."

"Trade ya." Oakley put the box in my hand, and I looked up at her in confusion. "I know it."

I started to protest, but Lexy was already in front of us, looking at me with the box. Her hand went to her mouth, and I saw her take a step back. She must not have realized before what this was. Must have assumed it was just a nice surprise. "Morgan..."

Oakley stepped forward, smiling, and took Lexy's hand. Lexy smiled back at her, her eyes shining. "Lexy we've been through a lot. Daddy bought you a ring, because he wants to marry you. You complete our family. Lexy, we love you. Will you please, please, please marry us?"

Not exactly the one page speech I had typed up, but I took that as my cue. Oakley looked at me, and I opened the box. Lexy made a noise in her throat, but it didn't get any farther. This was the moment. That one where you're falling and you pray someone catches you. I had taken the leap, there was no turning back from this.

"Marry me, Alexis."

Lexy looked from the box to me then, and I saw her eyes were full of tears. I felt something twist inside my chest, caught my breath. Was that a good sign? Or a bad one? Then Lexy looked back at Oakley for a minute and smiled. "Of course I'll marry you."

I let out the breath I had been holding, and stood up. Lexy was going to marry me. I took the ring from the box, and put it where it belonged. Lexy did start crying then, and threw her arms around me. I picked her up, and twirled her. Once. Twice.

"You're never getting away now, Alexis Millen. Never."

"Why would I want to?"

I set her down, and then I picked Oakley up. She was getting too big for that sort of thing, but at times like this it only seemed right. Lexy hugged both of us, until Oakley squirmed out of my grip. She ran towards the house, her skirt flying around her legs.

"Nana! She said 'yes'!"

My parents were watching us, talking quietly. My father had his arms around my mother's waist. She was smiling up at him, hardly paying much attention. I had always wondered how they stood the test of time. Marriages didn't last long now, but they had always been steady and strong.

"What's wrong, Morgan?"

I put my arm around Lexy's shoulders, and rubbed my nose against hers the way she liked. She smiled at me. "I just want us to be together, forever."

Lexy held up her left hand, the ring sparkled. _My Lexy._ "You're well on your way to forever, Hotshot."


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N : Hey guys! It's me again. Haha, I know I said this story was probably over, but some of you have been waiting to see what's going to happen with Lexy's little pregnancy predicament. **

**So, I decided to give them a few more chapters. This is post wedding, around the same time that Carrey and Natasha's story is taking place. I didn't have enough to give them in Fire, so I figured you would see it here. **

**Let me know what you think. :)**

* * *

**Lexy.**

I pressed the elevator buttons until the door closed behind me. I had left Tine in the parking garage with the car. I had practically begged him to stay.

It didn't take much convincing. He knew where I was coming from. He had driven me to the office several times already. Tine probably knew from my phone call on the way home that I didn't receive good news. Or any news.

I dropped my purse as the elevator started it's incline, and leaned against the back wall. I slid down until I was curled up with my arms around my knees.

I felt selfish. I felt terrible.

Morgan had married me. And now this.

I couldn't even get pregnant and give him a child. Give him another Oakley. Or a son that I knew he desperately wanted.

It had been eating me since we had dated. Since Morgan had put that ring on my finger, and said forever. What if I wasn't good enough for forever?

The elevator pinged, and I realized I was at the top floor. At Escala.

The doors opened, and revealed my husband standing just outside.

Of course Tine would have called him. I should have realized that the instant I left him in the parking garage. Stupid.

Arms crossed over his chest, Morgan stuck one foot near the elevator door to keep it open. The ring on his left hand still took me by surprise sometimes. I would just stare at it, and think about what it meant. Normally it brightened my day. Today it just made me feel heavier. Like I was carrying more weight than I was supposed to be. Like everything hinged on this one thing that I couldn't even make happen.

"Lex?" My eyes found Morgan's, and he tilted his head at me. "You okay?"

"Fine."

I didn't move, and Morgan didn't ask me to. He just sighed, and walked in to push a few buttons. The doors closed behind him, and he ran a hand along the floor buttons until they were all lit up.

Then he came to sit next to me, and put an arm around my shoulders. I buried my face in his white shirt as the elevator started moving.

"It's going to be fine, you know that right? I love you, Lexy."

"I know."

I knew better than anyone how much Morgan loved me. I had been there when he had married me. Declaring our love official, and real. I knew how he felt. I knew that having another child wasn't a deal breaker for him. I knew he wasn't dead set on it.

But I was.

I wanted to give him another baby. In the worst way. He was a wonderful father, Oakley adored him almost as much as he adored her. And maybe my insecurity was the problem. Maybe I was so worried about getting pregnant that it would never happen.

But I still wanted it. And every time I went to the office with the white walls, and dressing gowns, it was always the same.

_"Just keep trying."_

_"It could be a number of problems, but we're not entirely sure..."_

_"Most likely it's your hormones. But the tests still aren't conclusive."_

_"Don't give up, you're still very young."_

_"You have plenty of time."_

And the pats on the shoulder, with the knowing looks. It made me sick. Made me want to scream at all of them to just figure it out already. They were supposed to have all the answers. Doctors, they were supposed to know what was wrong with me. Instead they all just shook their head at me, and gave annoying little smiles that we would see each other again next month.

"I just hate that place."

"So, we'll go somewhere else. Somewhere better? Whatever you want, Lexy. Just tell me how to make it better for you."

"It's not you, it's me." I said miserably. "You already made one baby. I'm obviously the malfunction here."

"Don't say that."

"It's the truth."

The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. A pair of women stood gaping at us for a minute. Some of the people in our building knew about the Grey family that lived in Escala. Some of them even had some crazy rumors about us in the elevator. Some of the rumors were true.

The elevator was neutral ground as far as I was concerned. And it was one of the only places to talk without Oakley nearby. I didn't want her to see how upset I was. How much it bothered me.

I didn't make it a habit to sit in the elevator, but Morgan had. If I looked upset, he automatically climbed in next to me, and pressed the buttons like it was job. He had sort of made it into a tradition. The elevator was safe ground for both of us. If he came home and seemed upset we would hang out together listening to the stupid music until work wasn't following him home. He would pace sometimes for half an hour in that cramped space. Telling me all about some paperwork, or contract that just wouldn't work. We had this unspoken rule that the elevator was free game. We could say whatever we wanted. Until whatever was bothering either of us was resolved.

Maybe the entire idea was stupid, but it was _our_ stupid. And I loved that.

"Get on the elevator, or take the stairs ladies. Nothing to see here." Morgan's voice was cool, and calm. Businesslike. He was the one in charge obviously. The women stood gaping for another moment, and then the doors closed.

Morgan turned to look at me, and grinned. We both started laughing.

"Thanks, Morgan."

"Anything to make you smile. I hate seeing you like this." Morgan kissed the top of my head, and rubbed my shoulder. "This isn't the strong, fearless, wild Lexy I married. You used to be so sure of yourself."

"I feel like my body has betrayed me. I'm only asking for one thing, and it can't even give me that."

"Maybe it just isn't time yet. Maybe we're supposed to wait."

We had both been over this enough times for my head to hurt. Morgan had all these ideas about the grand scheme of things, and being 'ready' for another child.

I didn't know what to think.

"Maybe."

"Come on, I know what will make you feel better."

"Oh, yea?"

"Yea." Morgan stood up, and held out a hand to help me up. I took it, and straightened next to him. "We'll lay in bed and eat ice cream all afternoon until Oakley gets back from her play date. I'll even let you watch that movie you love so much."

"That sounds really great. How did I get so lucky?"

"I have no idea."

Morgan held onto my hand as he leaned forward to press the button for Escala again. His answering smile was enough to crack me up again.

"Thanks for putting up.."

"Shut up, Lexy. Like you haven't put up with all of my shit? We're married." Morgan lifted my left hand and kissed my knuckles. "Turn around is fair play."

"I love you, you idiot."

"The feeling is mutual."

The doors opened to Escala again, and this time we both exited the elevator, together.


End file.
